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Thread: Insect to society

  1. December 11th, 2004, 05:37 PM #1
    SimonSays
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    Insect to society

    I dug up this old om of mine and decided to revise and add some to it.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...37#post1894137
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=159001


    An insect to society I woke up one morning,
    I lay awake in my bed wondering why being different was on the wing
    I was borderline of societies worst, I was of no use to the world
    I flipped on the news, “Another man mysteriously murdered”... my head twirled.
    …..
    I littered and I spat on the ground with distaste
    I was late for my job, and quickly made haste
    Than I thought to my self “fuck it, it’s over” I have nothing to live for
    If I’m living to die my fate is my own, I felt like I prisoner of war
    Trapped, with no route to escape, I worked hard and never was late
    I went to school for 20 years and I never made a mistake
    But now I realised if I’m leaving soon than I might as well make well of my time
    …...

    So I sat back and kicked up my feet,
    Turned off the T.V. and proceeded to eat
    My milk was sour and my lettuce was rotting
    Like myself, I could tell it was clotting
    My Mind made up, not enough blood pumping
    I could see that I was metaphorically jumping

    …..
    I knew money wasn’t in the game for me
    So I decided, find my own way to be ‘lite
    I thought and mustered my brains knowledge
    Short of thinking, as I was failing college
    I didn’t have the brains to come out on top
    So I looked for rewind
    And my life stopped.

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  2. December 12th, 2004, 05:08 PM #2
    SimonSays
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    wouldn't mind some feed...

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  3. December 12th, 2004, 05:16 PM #3
    Aight
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    i liked it a lot man, the shit had mad heart. there were a couple times where i couldn't catch the beat of it, but generally the emotional content was so well introduced that it made up for it. and college is a bitch. i'm a senior right now and i'm tryin to figure out how to live through the next 6 months when i'm just squeakin by too when the world around me don't do shit to movtivate. anyway, i dug it man. peace.
    Do me a favor and help me close this up.


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  4. December 14th, 2004, 04:58 PM #4
    SimonSays
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    thanks for your opinion, some others would be nice.

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  5. December 14th, 2004, 09:20 PM #5
    SimonSays
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    i will give honest feedback.................

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  6. December 15th, 2004, 08:47 PM #6
    SimonSays
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    this is stupid.

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  7. December 16th, 2004, 04:36 PM #7
    SimonSays
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    ahhh come on you bastards.

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  8. December 18th, 2004, 02:07 PM #8
    SimonSays
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    Good drop LoL, uppin this.

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  9. December 18th, 2004, 02:11 PM #9
    Chronic Cancer
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    good drop, i like it.
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  10. December 18th, 2004, 02:11 PM #10
    Civilized Gangsta
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    overall this was a descent drop...nott too bad...and not your best..but it definately had a good outline too it...your flow was good..and your structure was built fine....umm...your imagery was there..and i could relate to it in ways..which is good..overall good job man..
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  11. December 18th, 2004, 02:22 PM #11
    F.A.M.
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    feelin that forreal seem likes its personal like yo life on this drop,,even if not yours somebodys cuz eybody go thru some shit,,realistic deep poetic type rhymes..keep doin ya shit

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  12. December 18th, 2004, 02:30 PM #12
    tonguetwista
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    this was a decent drop. i was kinda feeling it. it was a nice topical i think. you could have expanded a little bit more and really hit it good on this one. the flow was alright...that alos could been better, but overall it was aight
    7/10

    peace
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  13. December 19th, 2004, 12:36 PM #13
    SimonSays
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    Thanks for feedback, I will return all favours, any other opinions?

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  14. December 19th, 2004, 01:23 PM #14
    Streetcredz
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    i rele enjoyed it to man very interestin topic u did good wit it keep up the flows

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  15. December 19th, 2004, 01:56 PM #15
    Predatorian
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    not yur best but it had a natural flow that seemed to give off a the vibe of which you wanted it to give....
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