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Thread: ~~Words of the Wounded~~

  1. #1
    RhetoriX
    Guest

    Lightbulb ~~Words of the Wounded~~

    Sup, thought I would give ya something a taste of my usual ish, jus drop your comments and critique, make sure something is dropped...

    Shrouded in the Corner Crumbled by Darkness,
    Born to Misery,
    He Spawned from A Past and Wished it would've Lasted,
    Started in Days of Youth and Left him Bruised,
    Physically Marked and Tarnished...
    He knew Fists didnt give Answers but Damage,
    He was Troubled,
    Grasping to Breathe and Asthmatic,
    Masked in Anger, the Matrimony he met for Marriage,
    Beaten and Punched Every Shot Thrown was Landed,
    His Structure Brittle, His Body Couldn't Stand It,
    All by his Peers, Abused, Through and Through,
    Until One Day he Vanished...
    Alone Left In A Panic,
    His Days Cold and Frozen with Split Wars against Emotion,
    Thoughts When Lifes Been Taught,
    Like A Book Thats Been Opened,
    All Crafted and Written but Never to be Spoken...
    A Victim left with Broken Dreams and he Still Knows Hope is Losing,
    Coping with this Renegade by Untying his Tears like Shoe Strings,
    Tired of Sorrow, Viewing Tomorrows Blue Prints,
    He Knows He'd Never Refuse it,
    Screaming to Heaven the Words of the Wounded...

    It was Free'd off at the time, jus drop your comments...

    Peez...

  2. #2
    Rhyme Ripper DaLyricalWhiz's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
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    KILLA KALI
    Posts
    190
    Battle Record
    2-2
    a free? damn dawg that was good, i kno its crazy when u write shit had depth, u gota ill vocab, lotta words used in there, seen bits of wordplay in there, it was easy to read i enjoyed this piece, it was more poetic to me

    i wanna see more, i wont sleep holla
    D.L.W


  3. #3

    ......

    this was a free nice content for a freestyle dowg rhyme scheme was lil blah at times but it stil solid
    ~1~
    I will not lose because even in defeat, there is a valuable lesson learned so it evens it up for me. -Sean Carter


    Being defeated is only a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent. -Marilyn vos Savant

  4. #4
    RhetoriX
    Guest
    Yeh i feel ya, it is a lot more poetic, keep em coming, appreciated, thanks... Upping this...

    Peez...

  5. #5
    Messiah
    Guest

    Lightbulb

    Again man, you drop anutha hot muthafuckin verse...

    Hot As Always..!!

    Representin iiS now n forever bruv...no doubt!!

    Gotta keep on writin man, its refreshin iLLness..!!

    take care

    Peace

  6. #6
    Armaggedon
    Guest

    .hot spit.

    this thread was hot kid. the line format and flow was nice, it was a deep ass piece, i was feelin' that shit. you got mad skills kid, i'm definetely uppin'... i wanna see one of your battle verses.

  7. #7
    S.W.showluv
    Guest
    this whas hard and i wanna peep out some mo of ya work and thanks fo hollin at my post but holla back

  8. #8
    Messiah
    Guest

    Lightbulb

    Uppin For My Bro...

  9. #9
    WyzeRolla
    Guest
    yo feelin u start to finish dawg... this a deep piece with nice complexiveness and dope rhyme scheme.... word

  10. #10
    RhetoriX
    Guest
    Thanks, appreciated for the love, send me some critique aswell.. Another thing to clear up is, I aint a battle emcee, especially not text... I have got some verses... Keep em coming though... Upping for the last time...

    Peez...

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