I thought I'd shows some respect where its due and give you some proper criticism. I know only too well how frustrating it is to pour your heart out and then have responces like "it was deep man" or "you had nice emotion and vocab" and whatnot. I just wanted to set an example for these kids nah sayen?
- And I love you too sweetie-pie
...
Great piece Lyric.. not much I could see wrong.. structure was just fine, had a good flow let made the read smooth.. GREAT imagery.. glad you can put the image in my head w/out me having to try.. big props for that.. I loved how you ended it.. really left a good taste in my mouth.. some pieces can start strong, but end on a dull note.. not this one, you maintained a good level consistency throughout.. which makes for a dope all-around piece, not just one part of it bein' dope.. so good job on this man.. i'm doper tho = )
tha rhyme structure on this was sicc... i like when peeps can execute tha a-b-a-b rhymes correctly... tha choice of words was near perfection... i thought tha whole verse was one big metaphor and ya get props for that... i notice a lot of peeps is droppin' that deep shit but this is by far tha best i've seen on this site so far... keep droppin' it... peace...
check me out...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=158765
Great peice man, i love the way your worded it. I know you probably get tired of reading the same things over and over again but what can i say, this was really nice. The flow was so smooth, and imagery was great as well. I actually thought you done a great job as far as the creativity and idea goes. Your opener and ending was nice also. Dope drop man, keep it up. You seem to do nothing but elevate more each time you drop.
peace,
Mez
that is dope, everythin was amazin, you got a way with words, every possible skill you need, metphors, imagery etc. amazin...keep it up no doubt
shit nice work lyric deep as a diamond mine bro... i would nominate it but i think it already has been.. no need for props you got them already.. nice work..
oh thanks for the battle to bro
No, I never got nominated for this...thanks for the replies guys
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yo wazz good homies
~~~305~~~
uppin this
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few more
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DOPE, just plain D-O-P-E......
errr....and real critiques?
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this is an extremely good piece, i read ti earlier..didn't drop a reply...im still too busy now, but ill nod this for om of the month...nto legendary but definitely deserves an om of the month
Bittersweet
well, it is a very compelling piece,
Stronger with every hurdle passed, matured and picked the locks off traps
Remove the shades that blind uniqueness, allow me to shed light on purpose
these were your best lines because i actually had to stink what u met by on purpose for a few seconds, the rest of the poem was good but maybe to obvious. also poems can rymme, but also a rhyme i most effevtive in the righ spots, and last comment, something is noticed when u have a pattern and it all is abrupted, not the other way around. but the piece was very fluid
yes, you are right...Originally Posted by The Ruckus
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