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Thread: The Bad Guy

  1. #1
    The Drama Club
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    2,917
    Battle Record
    25-27

    The Bad Guy

    Yall im the only one who ended the relationship ignore Betrayed


    I thoughts he understood me loud and clear
    but obviously signals got mixed in the air
    liek a radio transmitter bein pushed through frequencies
    she had many attempts but none become full pledge theorys
    she called me her man her only love in thsi world
    what is this now she wit Dontay and shes his gurl
    man i dont get this but i was juss bein honest
    but bein honest costed me all of this
    the pain,love is in debt and nothin is a credit
    it all comes as a passionate debit
    it was all i had to ask for her back but she rejected me
    i didnt expect to be pushed away liek a slice of old mince meat
    man get me right she said but i was bein misunderstood
    i even stood up and said thats it im puttin down my foot
    before i even finsihed that sentence she was wit that creep
    now im hangin on by a limb like a corpse buried 6 ft deep
    Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
    90% How You React To It.

  2. #2
    aiight but if it was me i woulda stomp dontay and beat tha ho to da flo or atleast take his wallet

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Montreal
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,428
    Battle Record
    14-7
    This was alright. Nothing special. First 2 lines didn't rhyme. You tried for some internals and metas, and they were alright..but yea, nothing special. Basically, this piece was unspectacular as a whole. It probably had something to do with the relatively generic subject matter. Oh well..you're not a bad writer, so keep at it.

  4. #4
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    j-ville florida
    Age
    43
    Posts
    5,352
    Battle Record
    7-14
    not enough umph but it was bad either its the median point between the 2 levels try to focus harder
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

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