shes pregnant!!

[Killa_Instinct]

(7 months till pregnancy)
my girls pregnant what wonderful glee/
shit i gotta get a new job, no more drug dealin for me/
but for now im still happy that im gonna be a father/
oh shit wait is he gonna be my son or my daughter/
i hope he a boy so he can be a basketball playa, shootin swishes at the rim/
actulally i hope she a girl so she can be like madonna and sing/
oh well i guess i gotta wait n see wat god brings/
i betta go shoppin to by gifts and toy things/

(3 months till pregnancy)
haha my girl gettin fatta and fatta evry day/
yeh we gonn get through this together cause she ma bay bay/
i watch her eyes rest on the lounge room sofa bed/
seein our future together, wit a double storey house, playin room for my kid in the shed/
just this last payment then retireing from the mafia will be next/
growin my kid in a good environment, goin to private school, not learning rap text/

(in the hospital)
oh my god my heart is rushing, brain is feelin heavy, shit why am i nervous/
is it cause i dont want the baby, no no its probably cause im anxious/
doctor jus called me to the room to help out my wife/
aight be strong, support her man u just about to bring ur baby to life/
holdin her hand as shez sweating from pain, all of a sudden the machines start buzzin/
wats this, wats happening, is the baby alright, no response i just see doctors rushin/
10 mins later the doctor informs me the baby died, she was a still birth/
oh fukk noooo, tears runnin down from my eyes, WHY THIS CURSE/
from then on my life was misserable after an innocent life failed/
not only cause of the misery, but cause the cops got me and i was jailed/

tell me wat you think every one.. peace!!!

[EpistemologyRaps]

i thought it was a horrible turn of events and i hope that this really didn't happen to you. but anyway, i didn't like too much of the slang, but it still worked because i felt the love that you were building for this child. i normally do corrections, but there is just too much slang. umm, you state before each verse, "something days till pregnancy". technically dog, she's already pregnant, it's, "something days till delivery". keep writting.

[Twizted Ayngel]

I kinda liked this. I agree with the above about the slang. But you could feel the love, and the ending made me go "WHAAAAAT" ... You could elevate on your writing style a little bit, some of the flow was off.. but there was nice emotion and imagery in it.

[Legendary]

I liked the way you wrote it. Pretty creative. Building it up by telling how you're getting ready for the baby, changing jobs, imagining whether it's a boy or girl, and what they'll be. The only thing I didn't like about it was the words you used. And the slashes at the end of the lines. I know where the lines end at, no need to slash them.

The ending kind of scared me. My girl might be pregnant right now and reading this made me think what if. Kind of soon to be thinking it but it still.. Good job writing this. I liked reading it.

[Daddyz$Angel]

i overall enjoyed it. it had a lot of emotion in it towards the beginning i think. i agree with the statements made about the slang. keep at it tho...

good work