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Thread: Provoke Your Mind (Sublime D, MC Pinacle)

  1. #1
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    Provoke Your Mind (Sublime D, MC Pinacle)

    Divine Diction Collab



    Sublime

    Sick of my sobriety, piety in society, nonsensical
    Gaining in notoriety, decisively vying to damage your mental
    Sinful intentions maybe, absolutely shady, ready made abstruse glaze
    To blanket your days with confounding haze,
    Contusing your brain, leaving various limbs lame,
    Confusing your sanity, health and malady one in the same
    Too much energy spent in your attempts to maintain
    Understanding of my message, still not grasping, main
    Systems of your body gasping for air,
    You’re drowning in complexity feeling death’s stare
    Landing on you , gazing longingly, prayer
    Is your only recourse, of course, with little remorse
    You’re divorced from your religion as I persist with precision
    Splitting your thoughts, leaving your spirit utterly lost
    See yet why im the boss?...do you get my cause…?
    Why I wrote so many love songs?...giving my all
    Secretly plotting your downfall…getting you hooked
    Now making you shook, it’s your reason I took
    The rhythm to your life is lost, ill give pause, to bask in sin
    Just long enough to let my message sink in…

    Pinacle

    In solitude, the most miraculous thoughts are home at the dominion
    As persona and fabricated lives are repercussions of one opinion
    Wrapped in a bed-spread of linen, children are destined for success
    As the soul's essence departs the heart is obliviously prone to arrest
    And I inquire if being alone is best, as lamination is a vague colouring
    And that picture personality is developing, as we wait wondering
    The outcome of time's prison sentence, but mention a just and fair trial
    So the clock ticks rotationally while the motives sow and tear smiles
    Cause demons don't scare a child, but the presence provokes curiosity
    And that single lobotomy is an age-old atrocity that probably
    Escalated through the oddities one mind raises day-by-day to possess
    Where Christianity is satanism, while beauty is grotesque with prior day's success
    2000 and 4 years since Christ's body mangled,dangled formed a cross
    Just like the equivalency of that child's tooth tangled from some floss
    But the blood's divinity is simplicity with existing in an ignored mind
    And these are the elaborate core rhymes...
    when repercussions provoke your mind


    Peace.
    Bittersweet

  2. #2
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    Last edited by Sublime D; September 5th, 2004 at 10:37 PM
    Bittersweet

  3. #3
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    Bittersweet

  4. #4
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    Yo man, I couldn't get the flow on that one. The lyrical was good, good vocab, but the flow was off.

  5. #5
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    Nice shit kids, lol. Nah, this seriously was good. Flow in both verses were aight, should've been better, somethin' was wrong about the syllable count, anyway...

    Sublime - I like your style, real nice shit you got there man. You're kinda complex, not too many people on RB are, but still, for some reason, I like your style alot, it's unique, somethin' I haven't seen on RB. Props.

    Pinacle - Nice verse man, props as well. Liked the imagery in it, vocab. was nice as well, your style is also different from what I've seen on RB too, which is good. Anyway, keep it up.

    Dope drop, vocab. in both verses were very good, overall, everything was real nice, except the flow, it was average.

    Still good though.

    Hit up:

    A Broken Image

    Peace

  6. #6
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    thanks for the responses...i will peep that link later
    Bittersweet

  7. #7
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    Bittersweet

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    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    Bittersweet

  9. #9
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Up 1. Will return favours.
    can I kick it?

  10. #10
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    up 4...im runnin out here
    Bittersweet

  11. #11
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    final up
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  12. #12
    lyrics = dope
    flow = not quite there

    not a bad piece overall though

  13. #13
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    this was nice - retards have posted before me - flow's cool - emotion comes through - nice message - was feeling Pinnacle's a tad more but Sublime's was tight too - I'ma probably collab with y'all on something sooner or later - peace

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    Hence Forward

  14. #14
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Thanks for the reply. Nice sig.
    can I kick it?

  15. #15
    Banned FPS Cuba's Avatar
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    Sublime- I liked the verse. Yes you do use a lot of big words it would be more fluent it perhaps you could "dumby" it down slightly. Instead of going for the technical side or it try to look at a common sense/street smarts/every other cliche that goes in this category.. approach to it. Just add wit to it. Flow was off and on. At times I was vibing with it. Then it would get a little jumbled, but flow comes with a little more patience to it. Again nice verse. No real message to it just some thoughts but hey, I liked it. Nice man. I'll look for you in the future.

    Pinacle- Nice verse. I enjoyed the wording. Again you are vague to the topic. Sort of broad and obscure thoughts. The message does get across but it has no force to it. Just work on that and I think you'll be fine. Flow isn't fluent enough for my taste. Maybe a little shorter bars, or some nice inner rhyme structures would make the verse a bit more stand out.

    Nice collab. If you have a topic or anything PM me.. we might can work out a collab. pZ.

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