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Thread: Soap Box Opera

  1. #1
    Urban Knowmad Moniker's Avatar
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    Soap Box Opera

    I stand
    I stand alone
    I stand for purposes
    Proposed by unknowns
    I've come to know my purpose
    ...Standing

    I stand
    While others sit
    Listening to my stance
    For a chance to stand
    For their own known stance
    Untill they are on their own
    ...Sitting

    I sit
    While others crawl
    Wondering should I crawl
    Or should I just lie down
    Tasting the ground they crawl in
    To plan my stance, within them im
    ...Crawling

    I crawl
    So others can sit
    They sit understanding to listen
    For their own chance to stand
    Standing demands me to crawl
    But I cant stand to crawl
    Do I stand to tall while im
    ...Falling

    I fall
    Atop a soap box
    Crawling inside your thoughts
    Sitting within your hearts
    Standing atop your deepest parts
    To listen to your thoughts about..
    ...Speaking

    I speak
    I spoke to you
    Can you speak or move
    Now that speech is moving
    Im moved to speak by you
    Please speak when your spoken to
    Speak quickly before im removed
    Careful before you speak too soon...
    ...Listen

    I listen
    To those sitting
    Seeing what its like to stand
    When they planned on crawling
    They recall seeing me standing
    Not knowing that they'll be falling
    But i'll crawl to them, calling
    Stand tall and crawl to me
    ...Sing

    I sing
    Musical songs
    Songs of a keynote speaker
    Leaving your ears bleeding
    I feel musical while I stand
    I heal when I sing, I sing because
    ...We're Standing

    We stand
    We stand together
    We stand to demand purpose
    Proposed by those who know
    Whether we stand, sit, or crawl
    Speak, listen, move, or none at all
    We will always stand tall within
    Stand with me as we make a stance
    ...Forever.
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  2. #2
    better than legendary Neruda II's Avatar
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    I'm not sure really what to think of it. It had emotional parts but I was sort of lost in the abstract feel to it. I'm not completely sure what it means but I have an idea. The wordplay was well done, I liked how it seemlessly changed from one thing to another. I liked it, however, it became too repettitive in the second to last stanza. It got annoying actually. Well, the last stanza was very well written, it made me like the poem again. You imagery was good, but not very great. I felt that you put great emotion into this piece, but the reader has to look for the emotion to get it. This is an intelligent piece, abstract, well rounded, a bit repetitive, but overall, it's nothing short of great.
    murder murder

  3. #3
    Urban Knowmad Moniker's Avatar
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    thanks. i replied to your criticism in the crew thread. appreciate it.
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  4. #4
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    I think this piece is very... emotional. the reader could tell that you put everything into it. Altough, i must agree that towards the end it gets repetative, thus affecting its meaning, and the readers attention spand. But the metaphors are well written and its very well composed.

  • #5
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Mind I think someone bite this piece from you.

  • #6
    Urban Knowmad Moniker's Avatar
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    word. i got your PM's. thanks alot. he's biten more too.
    such a shame.
    might have to take a break from posting my work for awhile...
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  • #7
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Yeah that is a shame. Stay Up.

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