worthless ..

[Richard Parker]

always felt worthless, with people above me that ..
i loved, and just wished they loved me back
but i didn't posses the knack.. or so it seemed
to leave an impression that goes with dreams
no flow & scheme.. i couldnt look past the batter & slime
that suffocated me with nightmare no matter the time
no flattering lines could heal where words scar me at
but my grandfather tried with his hearty laugh
even he suffered.. a heart attack, despite it all
I begged to the good lord to right a wrong ..
ignored, tried to fight it off, in vain attempts
now im always brought back to the same events
want to change 'em N .. am left cursing awake
why'd that stupid bitch make her nursing mistake
i thought, not my friend.. it wasnt meant to be
but i realize everythings gotta end, eventually..
i stare down at his grave.. remember his laugh, i fall ..
cuz above all, there are those who love me, after all

Pz Gramps

[Illus']

Pretty Nice piece..

A little bit impressed most battles heads suck at topical.


"i stare down at his grave.. remember his laugh, i fall ..
cuz above all, there are those who love me, after all"

Like that line due to it being somewhat of a imagery piece
but more of a emtional piece. Short but made impact. Vocabulary
was there. Structure was good. Never seen you do an O.M
so for me this is your first and it is pretty good..

[Nique.]

Ha@Your Custom Title.

And Bio, I am dope at Topicals, so psh.

Feeble, this was short and sweet. You should write more because all that text battling ain't doing nothing for nobody if you honestly think about it. Flow was on point, your word choice was good, and this made a impact. I was feeling it.that

suffocated me with nightmare no matter the time
no flattering lines could heal where words scar me at
but my grandfather tried with his hearty laugh
even he suffered.. a heart attack, despite it all
I begged to the good lord to right a wrong ..
ignored, tried to fight it off, in vain attempts
now im always brought back to the same events
want to change 'em N .. am left cursing awake
why'd that stupid bitch make her nursing mistake

^Dope.

-Nique.

[Sublime D]

this was a very good short, your structure was very nice, your flow was very nice, inventive at times...i liked this, this was very good, and evidence of your skill....sorry about your grandfather...

9.7/10

[Mistral]

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