30 lines max
Topic: Fading Faces
Due: Wednesday, end of day.
checkin.. g/l.
Twixn...
CAMROK
30 lines max
Topic: Fading Faces
Due: Wednesday, end of day.
checkin.. g/l.
PandorasBox
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check check............................................. ..............
Down in the trenches of the Jungle, trees and leaves dispersed
Getting tangled, still must run trying to save my lifes worth
"GET DOWN- GET DOWN" enemy fire, and troops near by..
As I lie, shots fired overhead, souls sent right front of my eyes
People died, ripped apart, family left.. in this place called Vietnam
Napalms explode, fire surround, ears crack at the sound of a bomb
Fading Faces of my friends, left my life in a lasting condition
Often reoccuring missions haunt me at night in dreaming position
It's a life's lesson, son. People won't always be there - come & go
Things happen, faces fade... some you thought you'd forever know
That was my grandfather, he once told me these things awhile back
He fought hard in Vietnam & survived, came home with a medal stack
Was injured badly, commrades pulled him out and later he lived
Body shot & was blood clot, the doctors had to cut off one of his limbs
He never liked to speak of 'Nam, that was one of the few I heard..
And the most meaningful to me, cuz I learned and it was his word.
He won't ever speak of it again, Alzheimers destroyed his mind
And the thing he said of faces fading is true, doesn't remember mine
I bet he thought he'd forever know me - still does, but not quite
Stares at me with a blank stare - askes who?.. to even his wife
I guess he's right, People come and go - basically shit does happen
Whether in death or disease, sometimes past paths are forgotten
Aside from the story a second, this isn't a story for me, it's truth
The real "grandfather" of the story didn't fight in Vietnam, but WWII
Same thing happened, my face faded, but I know I was there inside
My grandfather died November 2003, his face & pride always in my mind
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Faces Fleeting
The faces of people i knew and even trusted slowly vanish from my mind
the things i believed in become rusted, these thoughts fly uncondonfined
my memory is fading now that im older, My brain no longer knows where to begin
memeories become so much colder, my thoughs imbalanced like a bowling pin
my mind becomes infected... disected, torn up and batterd ripped up and shattered!
i once was respected... i try to think that all the things i once gripped, some how mattered!
now this fucking disease eats away my memories! leaves me stuck in this depressing limbo
why me? why alzheimers? i go insane forgeting the faces of my past, while i stare out this window
Letter To My Wife
Ive loved you so my dear... o and not ever since the beginning, then when i reminencense of all.....
.............the Lust and love!!!
The fleeting joys fill my heart, the sadness disapates and there you are no distrust no one above
this condensation trail leeds us away... but the seed ive planted in you will arise and grow
i know the process is slow, but i want you to know, i cannot stay understanding... that you know
after all the years we shared and have been through... we now have learned that what matters most...
more beautiful than the ivory coast! is the connection beteween us that brought us alive in one another
out of all the selection and choice we some how became entwined... form what i contrive not like every other
This is why when i review my past till i have withered completely... i will view the fading faces one after another...
and in the end of the smother... there you will be my last emotion to hold as i ride away from this endeavour
sorry about that this one is probably less of a hassle to read.....
Faces Fletting
The faces of people i knew and even trusted slowly vanish from my mind
the things i believed in become rusted, these thoughts fly uncondonfined
my memory is fading now that im older, My brain no longer knows where to begin
memeories become so much colder, my thoughs imbalanced like a bowling pin
my mind becomes infected, disected, torn up and batterd ripped up and shattered!
i once was respected, i try to think that all the things i once gripped, some how mattered!
now this fucking disease eats away my memories! leaves me stuck in this depressing limbo
why me? why alzheimers? i go insane forgeting the faces of my past, while i stare out this window
Letter To Wife
Ive loved you so my dear... however not ever since the beginning, but when i reminencense of all.......
.............the Lust and love!!!
The fleeting joys fill my heart, the sadness disapates and there you are no distrust no one above
this condensation trail leeds us away, but the seed ive planted in you will arise and grow
i know the process is slow, but i want you to know, i cannot stay understanding, that you know
after all the years we shared and have been through, we now have learned that what matters most
more beautiful than the ivory coast! is the connection beteween us that brought us alive in one another
out of all the selection and choice we some how became entwined, form what i contrive not like every other
This is why when i review my past till i have withered completely, i will view the fading faces one after another
and in the end of the smother, there you will be your face last, my last emotion as i ride away from this endeavour
uppin 1...
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Uppin 2...
I haven't gotten a vote on one of my battles is so long!
Just vote !!
Drop a Link... and I will follow.. now whats so hard.
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What's so hard is honestly I don't like voting on topicals, but everyone has their own reasons.
Ok, both of you guys had good verses, but there's an obvious winner here.
Twin - your verse was good, but I wasn't feeling it. Probably the reason was I didn't feel very much emotion inside, at least not as much as Camrok's
"my mind becomes infected, disected, torn up and batterd ripped up and shattered!
i once was respected, i try to think that all the things i once gripped, some how mattered!"
If you had more bars like that you'd have won, but some of yours I felt were just fillers. The letter to the wife was great in vocabulary, but I just don't think it conveyed what you were trying to say as none of the lines really hit me.
Camrok - Yours hit me much more personally, and not cause i have a grandfather who battled in ww2. I felt like your verse came alive and that you almost felt bad for them not remembering you. Very nice imagery and your verse was nicely to the point where I felt twin swayed a bit
Nice job fellas but...
Vote - Camrok
thanks for the vote yo....
uppin... leave a link and we will both drop honest votes...
This was a really close one and hard to vote on,I read them like 3 times each. I'd almost consider this a tie but Cam had a little bit better flow and word choice in his verse. Twix the shit was cold but Cam took this one...Good battle.
Vote:Cam
Hit my battle up if ya get a chance...Peace.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=141176
uppin2 thanks for honest votes...
drop a link..........
uppin3 ill return the favour with an honest vote....................
drop a link
Uppin 3...
All favors so far returned.
More votes...
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uppin 4
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Really close battle But Cam Takes This Basically I Enjoyed Reading His More..Both Good Drops But Cams Seemed Just Better To Be..Due To Better Structure And It Flowed Slighty Better..Goob Battle..
Vote...CAMROK
Return the favour on my battle with MarioMan..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=141306
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