and i ws but i was on it as jacent.
and i ws but i was on it as jacent.
Uppin for more feedback
this was awsome! it was full of everything! wonderful emotion, and awsome imagery! it had a really nice flow to it as well ...... you told a really nice story with this one ad it kept me interested all th e way through....great jon content!
......fav part..........
Rewind the time to when we were invincible and the world was insignificant
It was my words of repentance that turned him away though his sin was mortal
Splintering wood from the shredded door slammed now as he left me my own convictions
Steel to bleed away the anxiety and fault contrasted with hate and love
Laid upon the bed shared once, now drenched in blood from wounds of hopelessness
Blade of escape laying beside the hand he now reaches for with a letter from a lost soul
‘ Please Forgive Me….Love your baby girl’
keep droppin
return the favor
....bless
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uppin for some more feedback please
Nice drop.. .emotion was there. Flow was on point
And overall, it was a very interesting piece to read
Structure was sorta messed up due to stretched lines
But that can be worked with easily.. so no worries.
Keep it strong, keep at it.
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thanks fam uppin for somemore feedback
uppin once again....C'mon people dont sleep on this shit
uppin once again for more feedback please
uppin
uppin for some more feedback c'mon people i know there more then 12 people that give feedback in this forum
stop upping lol...
Bittersweet
Seriously man. Stop...
murder murder
well bloom can delete my posts i dont care but im not gunna keep my shit on the second page when it hasnt gotten half the amount of replys it should have
^ who the fuck are you to determien that, you've already gotten double the replies of most of the poets in here, my self included, you've also recieved more than many poets better than you....you knwo you can write, if you really need such reinforcemnt of that, you have serious insecurity issues...let the newer poets who really need critique, get it....stop being an ass...with great power comes great responsibility...you have talent, therefore you ahve a responsibility..reply to the poor lil newb who hasn't gotten any yet...i never see you respond to anything in here...im nto saying your poem isn't good..im just saying...stop beign an ass...
Bittersweet
^lol
This has been today's 'Uncommentary with Uncle Ben'
1luv.
Laying face down in the mainstream.Po.Ethics.
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