O'Lord

['PercepTion']

It's a bit simplistic I know, it's a
personal prayer so it's spoken,
the hook is rapped, gives it a bit
of diversity.

O’ Lord.

Allow my intellect to spread thru nations
. . . Drive youth away from abuse & intoxications...
May gigantic corporations finally realise
. . . Gods love is forever unique & not to humanize...
Hear poverties cries, send needed relief
. . . Enlighten other religions into the Christian belief...
Expel grief & oust paucities pain
. . . Free the world’s people of a communist reign...
Tame the Sudan militia infinitely
. . . Save their innocent lives & avoid a tragedy...

O’Lord may cries fall on listening ears...
Save our world & dry their moist tears...
Your love will spread, thru the 4 corners...
To everyone, from strict pacifist to soldiers...

Disastrous like the fall of Babylon
. . . Lord destroy cynicalism & the throne it sits upon...
From morning dawn to moonlight
. . . May your love shine, show sceptics the light...
I write to spread your eternal wisdom
. . . I’ll broadcast the immortal word, thru your kingdom...
I’ll feed them – the starving minds
. . . & pray so they are forgiven for their sinful crimes...
Satanic rhymes, excuse my thinking
. . . O’lord let it rain; let it be holy water I’m drinking...

O’Lord may cries fall on listening ears...
Save our world & dry their moist tears...
Your love will spread, thru the 4 corners...
To everyone, from strict pacifist to soldiers...

Amen.

[Mesmerize]

For this to be a prayer and the fact that you spoke this so poetically,that alone made it a good peice. I could really sense how sincere you were in this..and the emotion was deep. Very good message within this, props for that alone as well. I like the hook you put in this too...like you said, it did give it some diversity. Keep it up...nicely done.

Peace,
Mez

['PercepTion']

up.

[Neruda II]

Even though I just happened to write a poem almost opposite of this, I can appreciate this very much. I liked the message, it's a poem that alot of people would like to see come true. Emotion was strong throughout the whole piece. I liked the emotion in the poem but I thought it could have been stronger, I guess it was because of the length of the poem that some feeling felt as if it was missing from the poem. As always, your vocabulary is superb, good all the way through. It seems like you sat down and wrote exactly what you wanted to be read, it stayed well on topic. I like your vision of what the world should be, it would be great. I was really suprised and glad with one line ". . . Enlighten other religions into the Christian belief..."-That really made me appreciate the poem. Very truthful, instead of just a very christian type feel, it was enlightened by that line. I thought this was a very smart and good piece. Keep writing, and sorry for replying to this so late, I've been feeling lazy as of late.

[exprtsharpshootr]

i realy like how u mixed a prayer and a poem together, good emotion, i relly felt this peace, and i still like the twist of poem and prayer, its somthing new, i liked it alot man

[Foreshadow]

Damn this was real nice. Alot of inspiration behind this perception..

[Bloom.Quist]

Very good. A religiously based piece. I can strongly relate to a simplistic prayer. Very simple poem, but you made it good. Structure was good, and the flow was matching well. Emotion couldbe stronger, but still well put.

[Mistral]

You need to leave a link to a poetry piece you left feedback on man, Thanks
(Shout out to the bloomsta!)

Nice piece by the way man, never really read much of your poetry before let alone anyones really but i found this nice and very interesting read, i liked reading it, it pretty much went smooth i thought, i dont really know what to say about poetry but i liked the details and emotion in this piece.