When I'm Gone

[LM]

I wonder, will people ever cry when I'm gone
Will they realise that I've always stayed strong
I lost friends til I had none, people hatin me
Picket signs in school destroys you....basically
They laughed at me when I got close to breakin
Didnt know I was wakin up vomittin and shakin
So now I'm takin some time to clear my mind
It's nothin but the truth displayed in these lines
Rhyme after rhyme, I'm exposin all in my heart
Smilin on the surface but deep down I'm torn apart
Before I start soundin tradgic, it aint all been bad
I'm 17, had laughs some people aint ever had
It's sad but I'm glad the pain is on someone else
So why are there days where I just hate myself
My health is fine but mentally, I'm forever scarred
R.I.P Harry, we'll meet again wherever you are
It aint far, I feel you whenever I write on a page
Suddenly it's like I've been released from a cage
The stages of my life have flashed before my eyes
Coz I lost you, then my grandmother almost died
But she survived, as I speak she's recoverin fast
And we spoke for hours about all the years past
We laughed and we joked, but I feel the pain
Deep inside I cried when she spoke your name
She claimed I was your favourite nephew of all
Maybe it's true, the way we'd talk when I called
With you I stood tall, you always was proud of me
Didnt like rap but in a way created me as the MC
You see, you influenced me in a way no-one knows
Now I know it all comes out when a loved one goes
It's shows that love never dies, it's just concealled
But right here my love for my uncle will be revealed
Coz this is how I can deal with him restin in peace
But I'm glad that all his suffering has now ceased
But my skin is creased, it's made me tougher overall
But I wonder......will anyone cry whenever I fall


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=133021
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=134307

[LM]

Uppin

[Prince Adem]

Very touching... You built up the emotion towards the end, and it all sounded good..

Your rhyme scheme was good, consistent and well worded.. nice internals and multies.. nice choice of vocabulary for this topic

Your structure was pretty nice too, lines were set out nicely and everything was easy to read.. good flow

[LM]

Thanks...uppin

[Chris Black]

This was a nice piece. Great emotion throughout. The flow was ill. I like the question at the end. This was a nice and smooth read. Good job.

My Open Mic:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=134164&page=1

-W1

[LM]

Ok...thanks