Two Extremes

[Morbid Manner]

i was walking my dog and this jus came to me, enjoy

When greenery meets the estate, its almost fake
crying and rucking meets, peacefullness nothing
earth and trees, clash wit 16 floors of concrete
birds songs, furlongs and furlongs after furlongs
free of our problems, free of a concience
species work together, we cut eachothers heads-off
blind to eachother all we see's one lier to another
each and every character
we meet is another melodramatic actor
the peace scatters everytime mans feet patter

[Se7eN]

this was small and had meaning still, it was an ok piece need more vocab and emotion but it was a good piece 2 me and I Love the meaning to this piece, nice, like the ending............please give me some feedback on my piece dead rose, it's under this one..........................on the forum

[Morbid Manner]

link,
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=130528
7 ill try and peep ur verse later, thanks for the feedback
i normally put more emotion and better vocab into pieces i spend more time on but like i said it just came to me whilst i was walking my dog it was a quick thing

[Mesmerize]

Not bad at all for a short quick piece. Emotion was good....I think if you put a little more time into this one, it could be a lot better. I was feelin it though, the ending was creative. Vocab was also nice. I enjoyed reading it....Good job, keep up the creativity

....check my latest poem out,
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=130612

[Morbid Manner]

uppin for feedback

[Mesmerize]

I left the wrong link, lol, thanx for the feedback though, I would like for you to read this.....leave your link and I'll hit up another one of yours thanx

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=131210