User Tag List

View Poll Results: Who won this battle?

Voters
6. You may not vote on this poll
  • Tactixx

    1 16.67%
  • Lyric

    5 83.33%
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Showing results 1 to 15 of 23

Thread:

  1. #1
    .Super-Human.
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Midwest..
    Posts
    1,099
    Battle Record
    15-2

    -PBox-Tactixx Vs. Lyric-IJL-

    Topical Battle
    Due By End Of Monday
    10-20 Lines Max
    JugUhKnot1: give me a topical battle topic please
    supathug818: hmmm
    supathug818: Unwanted Passenger

    Topic- Unwanted Passenger

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  2. #2
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,587
    Battle Record
    14-9
    Aight...This is my Check in...verse'll be up on monday..
    ....Peace....

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  3. #3
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Minnesota 651
    Posts
    6,472
    Battle Record
    91-11
    Awards OFOTK Champion Haiku Champion Legendary PC Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF 75+ Wins
    checkin in...g'luck Tactixx
    A few achievements here and there

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  4. #4
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,587
    Battle Record
    14-9
    ..................Unwanted Passengers................

    4th Precinct: District 11: Sept.19th/2003-Police Incident Report:


    "So can you tell us in your own words, what happened that day?"


    I was driving on I-95, Shane, Jay, And Rick were all inside
    Volume was high, when an oncoming Semi veered off to the side
    we collided and after the horrific impact it happened so fast
    the car landed with a crash and my whole life flashed passed
    I was struggling for breath, but it was slow and thin though
    undid my seatbelt and tried to drag myself out of the window
    My car upside down, I see Jay and instantly I feel the doubt
    Pulled his arms, but to my horror only his top half came out
    I tried to shout, choked with tears and blood, my head hung
    then I notice a large metal shard protruding from Ricks lung
    Blood stained his lips and tounge, he was nailed to his seat
    we used to play together when we were young, how can this be?
    Beyond belief, I regain my senses and start to look for Shane
    looked around the car and saw something slumped 30 feet away
    I began to pray and as I walked over and got a little closer
    I stop dead and collapsed when I saw him skewered on a boulder
    His face expressionless, I neglect to reflect on what Ive lost
    Three Unwanted passengers, who unwillingly had to pay the cost

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  5. #5
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Minnesota 651
    Posts
    6,472
    Battle Record
    91-11
    Awards OFOTK Champion Haiku Champion Legendary PC Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF 75+ Wins
    Unwanted passengers

    10/15/03
    Dear Journal,
    Smooth Dialect removed neglect as we gazed eye to eye
    I met beauty at a bar, I was in awe as I passed her by
    Bought her a few drinks, as we made simple small talk
    Saw her eyes bloodshot and glazed so we wnt for a short walk
    Stumbled hand in hand towards my rusty ride, helped her enter the side
    Drove slowly back to my place, as i made up constant lies
    The passenger next to me, we wanted eachother we concurred
    But unknown to me at the time, were unwanted passengers in her
    Invisible to the naked eye, but ever present swirling lazily inside
    Viruses infecting waiting to spread to desperate unawear guys
    Protection never crossed our minds as we slipped off our clothes
    Did out thing on the couch then passed out in my brothers home
    She was gone the next day, but her mark was there to stay
    Thought it was a cold until my doctor shifted fun into dismay

    5/3/04
    Fuck you journal,
    "You have HIV" is what the doc told me, And I know theres no antidote
    Tears swelled in my eyes as wishes for life evaporated with all hope
    A hitch hiking disease will soon free me from total identity
    As my symptoms grow worse and the disease takes control of me
    I know all blame is mine, but I'm still depressed when I first learned
    My insides are slowly deteriating, because of unwated passengers
    A few achievements here and there

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  6. #6
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Minnesota 651
    Posts
    6,472
    Battle Record
    91-11
    Awards OFOTK Champion Haiku Champion Legendary PC Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF 75+ Wins
    uppin
    A few achievements here and there

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  7. #7
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,587
    Battle Record
    14-9
    Up....#1...
    Leave a link...
    ..peace..

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  8. #8
     
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    6,689
    Battle Record
    7-0
    Awards Haiku Season Champion PC HOF
    hit this up guys...

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?=129571

    nice work gents....not bad from either
    i liked both verses, but i was just feelin' lyric's slightly more..
    Tac you did have some nice imagery...this line
    was especially dope....

    My car upside down, I see Jay and instantly I feel the doubt
    Pulled his arms, but to my horror only his top half came out


    and yer flow/structure was good in all, but...
    to me it seemed that you didnt expand much on the topic
    and it just wasn't that intresting...
    Lyric, u also had good imagery and
    nice flow/structure to boot...but
    i really think that your take on the topic
    and slightly better use of creativity
    is what helped you edged this one out...
    plus i thought your piece progressed a little smoother
    whereas Tac's end kinnda abruptly...
    close battle...not an easy decision, but...

    v/ Lyric
    overall a close battle
    ...

  9. #9
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,587
    Battle Record
    14-9
    Uppin.....2...
    Drop an honest vote and leave a link.....
    Thanx....Peace....

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  10. #10
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,587
    Battle Record
    14-9
    ....uppin....vote!
    leave a link and Ill reply to it.....
    Thanx....peace...

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  11. #11
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,587
    Battle Record
    14-9
    *sigh*.....Someone drop an honest vote?
    Leave a link...Ill return the favor...
    ...thanx...peace..

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  12. #12
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Minnesota 651
    Posts
    6,472
    Battle Record
    91-11
    Awards OFOTK Champion Haiku Champion Legendary PC Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF 75+ Wins
    What he^ said.....drop an honest vote and a link....
    A few achievements here and there

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  13. #13
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Montreal
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,428
    Battle Record
    14-7
    Tactixx- I was feeling your verse man. It was really gruesome..but something seemed..."real" about the way you conveyed emotion and the scenario. You had some damn nice imagery. Not overly complex vocabulary, but it worked here...

    Lyric- Your verse was also good. I felt that it was a bit slow to pick up..with some sketchy lines here and there, but it all pulled together nicely for the conclusion. Some ok imagery, good emotions conveyed. Extremely unique take on the topic...I was feeling the end the most..

    This was a tough battle..both of you were good for different reasons. In the end though, i'm going to give it to Lyric..simply because he took a more unique stab at the topic. Having said that, you both came dope.

  14. #14
    ... Prince Adem's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    6,904
    Battle Record
    16-3
    Very dope topical battle... props to both

    Tactixx - Yours was extremely well done... the imagery was amazing, and I could picture the whole scene in my head while reading... your one of the few writers I've seen in awhile who uses consistent multies, so props... Your story was well told, and there was alot of emotion while the guy reflected on his childhood friends and the accident and such.. the only thing I think you need to work on is creativity.. the passenger thing was kinda unoriginal, since you were talking about a car accident... otherwise, top stuff

    Lyric - Dope... your flow was virtually perfect and you had a great vocabulary in this piece... I didn't like the general flow of the story, but the imagery was great, especially when describing the actions and the disease... You didn't have as much emotion as Tactixx, but you took a more creative approach so props for that...

    Basically, it comes down to which was more creative... Because relying simply on the lyrics, you were both equal

    v/ Lyric

    Props to both... keep up the amazing work!

  15. #15
    ..is back Aines's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Age
    36
    Posts
    9,968
    Battle Record
    33-15
    bump this

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •