Topical Battle
10-20 Lines Max
Due By End Of Monday
JugUhKnot1: give me a topical battle topic please
supathug818: Unforgettable Memories
Topic- Unforgettable Memories
Ace of Aces
ILLunatic
Topical Battle
10-20 Lines Max
Due By End Of Monday
JugUhKnot1: give me a topical battle topic please
supathug818: Unforgettable Memories
Topic- Unforgettable Memories
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good luck, should be good.
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Unforgettable Memories
We were together for so long, our love was heavy
Every moment was treasured, we showed no envy
You were the only one I imaged myself with, in life
I will forever treasure my moments with you, day & night
Living life without you, will forever be challanging to do
But I will always be thinking what it would be like, with you
I miss you, even though I have memories to live off of
I'm just glad I met you, and for that I thank the lord above
Every memory we have, is unforgettable to me
Us together as one, will remain unforgettable to be
Now that you're gone, my life will for ever be changed
But my love for you, will always remain
No show drop.
you wish. lol. its 10 'o' clock here in hawaii...check it
…There’s Nothing Else You Should Know…
It was a picture perfect day, clear with scattered clouds
But we were told to stay home, so us five just sat around
“I wonder when mom’s coming,” she said with her temper
He mocked, “Well its February so I hope not till November
“That’s enough,” I replied, “Mom said not to wake him...”
While I checked the doors to see if anyone could break in
It never happened before, but it was better safe than sorry
My sis asked if I was scared but I responded, “Not hardly”
This was the first time alone, and I prayed it’d be the last
I was the oldest child of the five so I was asked for the task
But I despised it, I mean I could barely look after myself
So I didn’t get why I was given the health of someone else
I couldn’t tell what I was dealt, but chaos was summoned
From such a quiet day of perfection I could not see it comin’
The flash of wrath passed so fast with the sound of a knock
As my sister then opened the door to the rounds of a shot
From crying to dying, the lives of my blood fell before me
To be truly left alone wishing that I had died in this story
It hurts more than death, to relive what can’t be forgotten
But the memory of the truth lies within me and four coffins
Illuntic your a mod thats koo...but im going to have to tell the truth...
Ace of Aces-his story or topic Battles had touched me the most.It had a great impact on me.
It was a picture perfect day, clear with scattered clouds
But we were told to stay home, so us five just sat around
“I wonder when mom’s coming,” she said with her temper
He mocked, “Well its February so I hope not till November
“That’s enough,” I replied, “Mom said not to wake him...”
While I checked the doors to see if anyone could break in
It never happened before, but it was better safe than sorry
My sis asked if I was scared but I responded, “Not hardly”
This was the first time alone, and I prayed it’d be the last
I was the oldest child of the five so I was asked for the task
But I despised it, I mean I could barely look after myself
So I didn’t get why I was given the health of someone else
I couldn’t tell what I was dealt, but chaos was summoned
From such a quiet day of perfection I could not see it comin’
The flash of wrath passed so fast with the sound of a knock
As my sister then opened the door to the rounds of a shot
From crying to dying, the lives of my blood fell before me
To be truly left alone wishing that I had died in this story
It hurts more than death, to relive what can’t be forgotten
But the memory of the truth lies within me and four coffins
How can this not touch your heart. It had great imagination. Also it had a good vocab and good word play. THIS IS VERY CREATIVE AND ACE MUST HAVE A GREAT IMAGINATION....................................... ...........
THIS WOULD RELATE TO ME...
I have siblings that are younger than me.I am the oldest son and child in my family. If one of my parents or both had left me. I would know what to do. But as a young child taking care of your younger sisters or brothers and you have no idea what to do.Man this sux. This is when you have to call the Child Protection Service.
ILLUNITIC-Yours was not that creative...
Unforgettable Memories
We were together for so long, our love was heavy
Every moment was treasured, we showed no envy
You were the only one I imaged myself with, in life
I will forever treasure my moments with you, day & night
Living life without you, will forever be challanging to do
But I will always be thinking what it would be like, with you
I miss you, even though I have memories to live off of
I'm just glad I met you, and for that I thank the lord above
Every memory we have, is unforgettable to me
Us together as one, will remain unforgettable to be
Now that you're gone, my life will for ever be changed
But my love for you, will always remain
IT WAS GOOD.WASN't THAT CREATIVE. IT WAS GOOD. GOOD VERSE. MAN JUST TO SAY I NEVER FELT IT IN MY HEART. SHOULD HAVE PUT MORE EMOTIONS TO YOUR PIECE. THEN IT WOULD HAVE TOUCHED ME. YOU SHOuLD HAVE FOCUSED On THE DEATH....
JUST CAUSE YOU A MOD hope this doesn't affect me...I STILL THINK THAT WE CAN BE COOL...HOPE YOU DON't ACT LIKE A DICK HEAD AFTER THIS...
IM JUST SAYIN THE TRUTH...
GOOD TOPICAL BATTLE
VOTE ACE
Today, 04:02 AM
What the fuck man?
You never told me you lived in hawaii
Thats some bull shit, you had way longer to post
you didn't ask. besides, we all had about 3 days, I took about an hour to write that, it doesn't really make a difference, i just posted it after yours.
uppin.
thankx
ace took this in my eye his verse was more discriptive and he put more effort in it also better vocab
illunatics verse was too simple for my liking and not well thought out
vote ace
feedback needed
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=130220
Vote disqualified for inadequate feedback. Please see this thread if you need help on what qualifies as an acceptable explanation. - Ambiguous
thanks i'll hit that up.
O.k I am very impressed by the both of you.
IllLunatic your verse was quite touching. I rather enjoyed reading it as most who have some1 they think about would. I noticeed a few spelling errors but I could still decipher what you were trying to say. You had harnessed your emotion well and it felt as though you have written on this topic before. It seemed kinda played at times, but what love poem doesn't anymore? Good verse man!
Ace of aces you had a very good verse. I enjoyed the short story aspect of your post. You worked with what little lines you did and created some vauge character development, which I commend you 4. You had such a depressingly grand story with the bloodshed and survival I just loved how mundane it was. Truly an admirable creation. Keep it up!
A memorable battle u2! I enjoyed
Vote - Ace of Aces
thanks. uppin for more.
vote, drop links. thanks.
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