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Thread: The Gulluotine

  1. #1
    Newbie Regret's Avatar
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    The Gulluotine

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=130376
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=128636

    I work my 9 to 5..nearly killin myself just to get by
    I put food on the table…yeah I do provide
    that’s about all though…sure aint wealthy
    that shit ive done im lucky to be healthy
    but im turnin around want no one to help me
    if I want it bad enough ill do it alone
    and if I succeed it must be on my own
    ill keep tryin till I collapse my bones
    ill go back to school and ill get a degree
    ill do whatever job if the job needs me
    moppin floors bussin tables whatever it be
    put in extra doulbe overtime to make ends meet
    whoever doubted I’d become something…well thell jus see
    ive come to far to give up shoot im almost there
    CANT give up to my family it wouldn’t be fair
    share the good with them cuz they been by me through the worst
    whenever I needed help they were always there first
    ill be in the first in my line to get a degree this family must be cursed
    ive never been one to quit and im not breakin the habbit now
    soon ill be sining to the tune of 80 thousand a year loud
    soon ill go to then bank and I can actually be proud
    but the time to move is practically here
    so no more dreamin, time to start doin
    the people like me are few an far between, we work behind the scenes
    ill do it by any means, I don’t need your respect that’s not what im persuin
    you can talk about me as I work I don’t care one bit what you an’
    your friends say, while yall talk I work and get paid
    you stay at entry level while I get raised
    you drift and drift im here to stay
    you may not respect but when im done, you’ll know…my…name
    Last edited by Regret; May 26th, 2004 at 02:54 PM

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  2. #2
    Banned
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    You Need To Reply To 2 Open Mics With Decent Feedback And Leave Both Links in This Thread Or This Gets Closed, Thanks.

  3. #3
    King of Iron Fist! sabotage's Avatar
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    Good verse man! I enjoyed it. QUite melodramatic... you have a knack for explaining the ills of your life. or so you make it seem. Your use of rhyme was ...superfluous.. to be honest... the timing of rhyming word changeup seemed kinda sketchy... all in all was a good read tho... keep it up!

  4. #4
    I Am The Light deacon's Avatar
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    peeped your piece....had some good ideals throughout....congrats on the making it seem somewhat authentic...as if it was real life autobiography......maybe work on rhyme structure to make it flow nicer but i was feeling this might be an audio or something...

    -1-
    softfocus



    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............

  5. #5
    Verge the Great Masahiko.'s Avatar
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    this was good brandon.. real good.. i coulda told you all this online but that wouldnt be any fun now would it?... lol i liked this but i definally still gotta work with you
    The Legion

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    HoF x5

  6. #6
    Verge the Great Masahiko.'s Avatar
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    .. uppin for my buddy!
    The Legion

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    HoF x5

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