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Thread: Losing Something Precious...

  1. #1
    Newbie ¤Øvuh Whélm¤'s Avatar
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    May 2004
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    •Virgin Yuh•
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    Losing Something Precious...

    Want to look at death? look at my life, nothing but ¤burning desire¤…
    Learning to fire, was the only means of trying to make it ¤higher’¤
    I been beaten with rods, the manner and disposition of this kid is still a ¤villain¤.
    Moms had no money so she let nigguh’s fuck for 20 ‘Bones’, like a ¤fill in¤.
    Shot needles of crack cocaine through her veins, like a dose of ¤penicillin¤.
    Jokes thrown to my temple from Kid’s, so I became a menace to ¤killing¤…
    Satan tossing bad thoughts to my head until they pumped hard and started to ¤drill in¤.
    But I still stand, with the guns loaded, and the will within. And held close to my chest, I got that steel to ¤kill man¤.

    ¤Death Is Inevitable¤

    It’s insane that through brains the signals we receive can be hectic’
    It was a shame, didn’t know who to blame when my mom was killed when the tech spit
    Troubled women, big head, slim and anorexic, I confess shit! I have been shot down Flesh Ripped’
    It’s a shame ma, when the vest split, chest lit, and nothing but a hole in lungs…and standing ovuh me they asking who is the ¤best click¤…I lay down with my moms blood on my hands, and I’ begin to ¤rest quick¤’, I’ hope yawl see my life, and anything that comes good ¤respect it¤….

    U’ only get one chance in life, I wasted precious time, don’t u do the same…


    ::Links::

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=127313
    Last edited by ¤Øvuh Whélm¤; May 6th, 2004 at 05:36 PM Reason: CheCcing For Errors

  2. #2
    Newbie ¤Øvuh Whélm¤'s Avatar
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  3. #3
    Banned
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    Start leaving a bit better feedback than the one liner that you gave on the open mic you have for a link, Thanks

    But this was ok...The structure was ok, it seemed like the lines were kinda streched out though a bit...had some alright mutlies in this, probably could have added some in a few more places though to help support the flow in this piece...But in the second half you had better multies than the first and I thought that one had the better flow...But overall this was alright.

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