Imagery Pt. 2

[Lingwistik]

yah this isnt as good as the first part, but i liked writing it

Boiling waterfalls…flowing through the mist…
Sun flowers melting…never to be missed…
One man stands in the dark…looking into the light…
Bright colors flashing out…into the night…
Flight followed by fall…Ikarus melted wings…
Hot wax burning flesh…its flickered flame sings…
about his caustic ways…and smokes through the days…
ablaze through the years…sticking to its craze…
amazed and confused people speaking harsh…
afraid of battling…but itching to march…
scorched by the lies and simmered by surprise…
screams of fear from men being terrified…
paralyzed runners…the world unable to move…
scandalized gunners…shooting to be on the news…
they choose to bruise…just to gain attention…
like an outcast setting fire to books at a convention…
the Holy Grail disclosure…to stop the destruction…
smoldering lust for corrosion…risking death for corruption…
eruptions of anger…lava coming from your mouth…
bad assumptions and chaos is what it’s all about…
astronauts bout…leaving space battered and broken…
a genius unspoken…but able to bring ideas into motion…
like endless notions of love…but then none for devotion…
an oxymoronic buzz…that’s filled with emotions…

i also put some oxymoronic lines in there as well

links are

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...62#post1382062

and

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=119920

peace

[Lingwistik]

feedback please, leave your links

[west]

Read your part 1 b4 this,this is an improvement i'd say,you used good imagery and the poeice flowed well,some of the expression and word use was well done.Good concepts addressed and to me it seemed womewhat poetic but maybe was not the intention. Also spotted some wordplay but cuda used a bit more and maybe some multies and meta's. Good vocab throughout and good descriptive word choices.

good bar

"paralyzed runners…the world unable to move…
scandalized gunners…shooting to be on the news"

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=126999

Peace

[Lingwistik]

thanx, for the feedback, very much appreciated, you got any you need to be hit up?

anyway thanx again

peace

[west]

Yea hit this man.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=126999

Peace

[Lingwistik]

^^ done, one thing i hate is sleepers, and i refuse to be one

uppin

[lyricallyabbusiv]

beautiful piece...what i liked best...was that ur title came from da first and last words of ur piece...very creative...it was very engaging..i got a clear picture and feeling towards it...your best line is:
Flight followed by fall?Ikarus melted wings?
Hot wax burning flesh?its flickered flame sings?
i loved dat line...beautiful metaphor....
overall, it looks like u took your time on this, and it paid off...nice work...keep at it...i didnt read your first part yet...but i will soon...
good shit..

[Lingwistik]

haha, thankyou, and definately read the first part, that wood also be cool thanx for feedback, and AL, your the only person so far to cathc the first word and the last word having a connection, i thought more people would catch that




any1 want feedback OR battles to be voted on(honest votes) just leave feedback in here and ill get back at ya

peace

[Induelz]

Pure Heroin ..

astronauts bout…leaving space battered and broken…
a genius unspoken…but able to bring ideas into motion…

That stood out the msot to me .. but it was a classic piece very dope.

[Lingwistik]

thanx, anymore takers?........or givers

[Lingwistik]

please just a few more, and this will be done

leave links

[Steven William]

actually some dope stuf fin there...
few quotable lines I liked it hadent read the
first part I guess I will...never seen anything
form you before Ill check up on some of yo
OM's once in a while see if you get better
but overall hte IMAGERY an vocab on here
was dope and flowed nicely good work

Hit up my-
The Fall of the Earth

[Lingwistik]

yo man, thankyou very much, ill df hit yours up later, now i gots to go to wrok

peace

[MC Resh]

Boiling Sun flowers melting…never to be missed…
One man stands in the dark…looking into the light…
Bright colors flashing out…into the night…
Flight followed by fall…Ikarus melted wings…
Hot wax burning flesh…its flickered flame sings…


like endless notions of love…but then none for devotion…
an oxymoronic buzz…that’s filled with emotions…

Im likin this 1. its a very vivid visual piece u clearly put a lot of thought into this. that icarus metaphor gives off an interestin message and the ending left sum good food for thought. very intricate overall, but it still gels togetha well. props 2 u man.

[Lingwistik]

thankoyu greatly, time to hit uo Sya's