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Thread: Faith Hope and Charity

  1. #1
    Dove
    Guest

    Faith Hope and Charity

    Im still REALLY rusty.....just trying some shit out



    A man walks along at the side of the road
    In his hand he carries a suitcase with some food and his clothes
    A major Businessman turned sour with the gambling and alcohol
    And now all he has to show is a membership to AA and nothing at all
    As he walks on down the road he spots a church to his right
    And since he has nowhere else to go, he settles there for the night
    Entering the church he picks a bench near the back
    And Peers up towards the cross and begins to laugh

    Where were you when I lost my faith god..
    Did you even care that I lost hope
    And now people see me as a charity case…but they don’t know
    They don’t know what I’ve been through
    They don’t have a clue about me
    If they did they would realise. That I despise Faith Hope and Charity

    As he settled down to sleep for the night a solemn body appeared
    The boy began blowing out the candles when he sensed someone was near
    As he listened hard to the mans soft breaths he found his sleeping body
    Instead of waking the poor man from his slumber he smiled and nodded slowly
    On hearing the man rant and rave to his God he felt it was his point to say
    The time will come when you need the help…of Faith Hope and Charity

    When the man awoke the next day He was shocked at his surroundings
    He had food beside his suitcase and a quilt of feather downing
    As He stood to leave the church after filling up his hunger
    He passed by a mirror and saw his reflection ten times younger
    He couldn’t understand why a man would serve him good
    There was no way he could pay them back..And he wouldn’t even if he could
    And now he has found his feet and has a wife and family
    But he would still be in the streets tonight…without Faith. Hope. And Charity

  2. #2
    ...practice makes poetry
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    2,700
    Battle Record
    4-1
    Where were you when I lost my faith god..
    Did you even care that I lost hope
    And now people see me as a charity case…but they don’t know
    They don’t know what I’ve been through
    They don’t have a clue about me
    If they did they would realise. That I despise Faith Hope and Charity
    ^^interesting... it seems like you didn't rhyme... but I think I see what you're going for... very subliminal... good stuff...

    as for the rest... welllll... some of it was tight... the multis were good... some of it seemed stretched... but you could be flowing a bit faster in your head at certain points...none of the phrasing is so bad that I couldn't believe it...

    decent stuff... I expect you'll dust of rust in no time...

    check out something of mine sometime... maybe we could even do up a collab...
    Hence Forward

  3. #3
    Dove
    Guest
    Thanks.....Yeah thats what i was doing with that middle bit there you posted...

    It wwas a spur of the moment piece..Im just tryin to get back on again if you kno what i mean...thanks

    Maybe Ill take that offer up on the collab..when I find my feet again and find out who everyone is

  4. #4
    ...practice makes poetry
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    2,700
    Battle Record
    4-1
    this is how I read it...

    Where were you when I lost my faith god..Did you even care that I lost hope
    And now people see me as a charity case…but they don’t know
    They don’t know what I’ve been through They don’t have a clue about me
    If they did they would realise. That I despise Faith Hope and Charity


    cept your line breaks were dope...

    I think it's a matter of rhythm..
    Last edited by Mag...; April 4th, 2004 at 05:02 PM
    Hence Forward

  5. #5
    havent been here for awhile...maybe rb has change their "gangsta lyrics".
    anyways back to the post. it was very good topic something that could happen in real life. could of been more detailed in some parts. the verses held their own. stayed on topic the use of words was real good very clever in that deparment. and it was an overall good drop
    you get a
    7.5. outta 10
    keep posting

    Peace........
    1...............

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    You need to leave a link of a reply that you left on someone elses open mic or this gets closed, Thanks

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