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Thread: -fuck life's glitches-

  1. #1
    ¢øS
    Guest

    -fuck life's glitches-

    (what the fuck?) is what i scream when i wake up!
    what the fuck & why the fuck did i go wrong, whatsup?
    i wasted all my life cuz i was depressed, my (ego) unique!
    i didnt give a fuck what u thinked, so fuck you wit tha pashin!
    everyday u saying (such) this & (such) that, but i never listened!
    dont u understand im not like u, i rather dispise & hate u!
    how the fuck u think im sopose to respect u, evilness runs down my spine!
    satan gave me a curse & i cried when (god) looked down on me
    he told me do u want life in (serenity) or condemed for (eternity)
    i chose serenity but the devil gives me these (feelings?)
    its unhealing as i discard random (emotions) from fondaled humans!
    my fuckin blood boils as u constently think i wont comitt yur murder!
    fuck u! i dont care if i die, i'd rather have died in peace knowing yer dead!
    somebody fucking help me! what the fuck is wrong wit my head?
    i'd cut my wrists in a (dare) just to see how that shit blead!
    im a fuckin nut step back or i wont hesatate to dump a full clip!
    i put a bullet in ya hip first to see yur reaction before i (commence!)

    *omg what have i done?!* not knowing my self actualization!!
    extermination from ya opinions cuz termination is mans best friend!
    just look at our history & how the (human nature) is so fucking cold!
    i mean how the fuck u gonna kill a baby then have no emotions shown!
    fuck this! im gonna do this right, fuck the (ride) im taking the highest flight
    im sick of failure & tired of not knowing mans best knowledge

    *i mean doggs jus look how these pplz polish?*
    i wanna be the elite in every catagory!!!
    my (story) will be full of glory!!!
    so fuck u! get the fuck away!

    im fucking hurting man...
    the pain is overwhelming
    i have to fix this!!!!!
    fuck! but im stuck!
    no more! no more!
    fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    no!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    please no..

    im sorry
    ........
    .......
    ......
    .....
    ....
    ...
    ..
    .



    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=120089
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=119920
    Last edited by ¢øS; June 16th, 2004 at 08:20 AM

  2. #2
    Back By Popular Demand... ELEETE's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    San Jose (Bay Area), California
    Age
    41
    Posts
    837
    Battle Record
    1-0
    Wow very interesting man.....Impressive for a first drop.....good job....

    Some lines were a bit strecthed an it could use minimal work but i enjoyed the flow...As you are new to this site i can already tell with time youll be pretty good.....good job bro...Impressive for a newbie....Peace

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  3. #3
    \(^-^)/ Freeman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    1,828
    Battle Record
    24-11
    Wierd / Interesting structure..

    Your trying to make the piece look nice.. When you are sacrificing the flow of the piece for the mere look of it..

    Do not do that..

    Transitions!!!!! Make them smoother..

    Anyway.. Lesson almost over..

    Work on the above..

    Keep at it..

    Pz..

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  4. #4
    ¢øS
    Guest
    lmao aight uppin

  5. #5
    ¢øS
    Guest
    uppin...

  6. #6
    ...Apocalypse...
    Guest
    It was good I liked it but it was kinsa wierd but it was still good

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