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Thread: Alcoholism Collab w/ Topic & Mindless

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ~HoTTie~'s Avatar
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    Alcoholism Collab w/ Topic & Mindless

    Topic
    I cant think, i need my medicine... I need a drink
    Its like a hidden link, a pick up everytime my heart sinks
    I live my life on the brink, everytime i let my eyes lift
    the only exercise i get, is when my arm raises to take another sip
    Right when it hits my lips, i know im depressed again
    But when my lifes a drag, how do you live when it was over before it begins
    Is there a reason for this...shit your actully asking me?
    Well this is how my minds floats in the sea...litteraly

    Mindless
    Going against my discretion,
    confessing my obsession with constant depression
    Refreshening my aggression,
    requesting this next session to express my alcoholic transgressions...

    ...Im never willing to stop,
    constantly filling my cup till the liquids spilling over the top
    Feeling full but not fulfilled,
    still seeking a thrill looking for my glass to be refilled.
    Stood up from the table,
    not able to stand stable suddenly ive become disabled
    This addictions my conviction,
    my thoughts constricted cant depict fact from fiction
    Admitting i hit my limit,
    i need to go but im unfit to drive, walk, ride, or even sit.
    Percieving its time to leave,
    retrieving my keys i'm left feeling deceivingly relieved.

    Topic
    Beer, Alcohol, Liquor any thing can fill back up my glass
    At last, I dont leave my house...with out my drenched Flask
    Its like a tint...My mask covers up my feelings fast
    But left a mental rash...every drink just puctures a gash
    Ive found my lover at last. Anonymous Alcs. is like a clash
    The way were Back to fillin up our flasks...and then i daze back
    Ego trips from enthusiastic to depression...im back to stressin
    The way were messin with alcohol...you'd think we'd learn a lesson
    Im depressed as soon as i take my first drink
    Is it because Theres less alcohol in my cup......
    ...Or i know noone can relate to what i think
    My mouth starts to water...When i hit the bottom of my flask
    Practicly the only medicine for me......is emptying my glass



    Good Job To The Both Of You--Hottie

  2. #2
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    Huh? Which one is Hotties verse???
    <-Only came in cause it had Hotties name in it...
    <-Upset about the False Advertisement.

  3. #3
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    ^ hottie didnt have a verse.

    <-Only came in cause it had Hotties name in it... - penskills
    im sorry... but thats ignorant bullshit. and you didnt even reply to the OM.. what an ass...

    ...expected more out of you as one of RB's vets... damn... thats ridiculous
    A ruthless
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  4. #4
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    ^Shut Up...I read this the first time and You must not know me,,,I'm extremly lazy and I never ever break shi* down unless it really needs to be..Anywho...I"ll do you a favor,Since Topic is my boy...

    Topic...Your first verse was very simplistic..Yet your imagery was a bit impressive..
    I can picture the chracter wondering around looking for a drink..

    Mindless..You had a decent flow going on your verse..I can see that you have focused on your vocab...for some reason it ssems a bit forced(I'm sure you'll reply with something like-"Man,you suck what do you know about writing,my shi* was perfect")you asked for my thoughts and I'm giving it to you...

    Topic...your closer was nice..you covered the Topic very well...I told you this before and I'll say it again...You have great talent...peace..

  5. #5
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    reply to two other open mics and post links to your replies...
    otherwise this gets closed.
    thems the breaks. =(
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  6. #6
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Mindless..You had a decent flow going on your verse..I can see that you have focused on your vocab...for some reason it ssems a bit forced(I'm sure you'll reply with something like-"Man,you suck what do you know about writing,my shi* was perfect")you asked for my thoughts and I'm giving it to you...

    ... thats all I was asking for, a decent response...so you assumed wrong. i appreciate the criticism

    i knew topic was your boy, even more reason why you should have left feedback the first time...

    i have no quarrel with you, i actually think your a tallented writer ... but learn from this. i shouldnt have to insult you just to get a reply, and you shouldnt just peep posts based on status.

    ...done preaching, heres the links maven

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...886#post1239886
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...894#post1239894
    A ruthless
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  7. #7
    Newbie DNA's Avatar
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    I too was compelled to come in here due to Hottiez name being next to the title...but this was good anywayz...y'all stuck to the topic well...and what was lacking in multiez was made up for by vocab and flow...holla at my 1st piece when ya get a chance...it's called "2 Sidez to a Book"...holla...
    Life'z a Bitch and she sucks...so I keep my dick at attention...

  8. #8
    Get used to it...
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    good shit...


    I mean... honestly... I'm quit proud of you... do ya thing thing...


    hit me on aim... and I'll let you in on a few secrets n' what not... but good job...
    Tag'D
    Legend: Merk Squad

  9. #9
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    ^thanks

    up...
    A ruthless
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  10. #10
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    Topic
    i felt your verse to be a bit simplistic for my taste...but u stayed on topic well...structure and flow was decent....coulda upped vocab

    Mindless
    your verse was pretty decent...nice vocab...but structure was not very good which caused for choppy flow....
    okay drop

    Topic
    your second verse was a big improvement over your first...nice structure flowed like a river....u upped yoru vocab...
    dis is the best verse in dis piece...

    to both good drop
    hit up my OM need feed bad plz

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118820

  11. #11
    Topic
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    jees i didnt know this was up yet...came out pretty good i think. Thanx for postin this hottie. Yo when we gana start our next collab? if your willing
    Scytsophrenia

  12. #12
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    Topic: flow was alright, vocab could use some improvement - I know a lot of ppl don't care about this but I say it because your rhymes seemed kinda simplistic and that really makes it feel more like a nursery rhyme than the serious topic it is. You portrayed the drunk pretty well - I could picture him sitting there draining his glass and hating himself for it.

    Mindless: Flow was tight - seemed a bit forced in places - the little four line intro was distracting - would've liked to either see you give a complementary outro or just axe it. Pretty good work both of you - hit my collab with Mag about the media.

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    I'm dead.


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    Hence Forward

  13. #13
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    thanks for the advice. ill check that collab
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  14. #14
    Topic
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    yoooo thanx for the feedback
    Scytsophrenia

  15. #15
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    last up?...
    A ruthless
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