Tale Of....

**Topic** · February 23rd, 2004, 03:46 PM

deffinant dope drop...everything was on key...i cant say much that i havent said in your other threds other then your dope and you seize to amaze me in your work...dont elevate...you might explode

**Mystery~Murdera** · February 23rd, 2004, 07:46 PM

lol... this was amazing...
you're unbelievable man.
You love that gory shit
but still it was deep.
Very, very... dare I say..

legendary? Certainly amussing.

**ELEETE** · February 23rd, 2004, 08:50 PM

It never seizes to amaze me the type of quality you put into your work......by far this is your best piece I've read from you....this is nothing less than legendary which I'm sure it will become....dope....once again you imagery was one of the best if not the best I've read here on RB.......this piece truly outdoes every other one of your pieces by far......I can tell you put a lot of thought into this one....peace!

**Penskills** · February 23rd, 2004, 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by Mystery~murdera

Very, very... dare I say..

legendary? Certainly amussing.

**Penskills** · February 24th, 2004, 05:12 PM

BUmp it up~~~~

**...wun...** · February 25th, 2004, 10:56 AM

Dam Pen this was ill. The begining is what hit me so hard.

"Ever heard of Yung's theory of the collective conscious?
It's the idea that we all believe similar selected constants:
society is created from beliefs that we all innately feel
reality is mainly built on what we all have faith is real...
so if I disagree, think separate and let my mind go askew

Those lines right there was the narritave hook. Captured me to read the rest of this.

---->The flow of this was insipiring, and the imagery was insane. Dam pen by far i think you're the best open mic head in this site. Much love and respect.

~holla if ya hear me

**Penskills** · February 25th, 2004, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by ...WuN...

Dam Pen this was ill. The begining is what hit me so hard.

"Ever heard of Yung's theory of the collective conscious?
It's the idea that we all believe similar selected constants:
society is created from beliefs that we all innately feel
reality is mainly built on what we all have faith is real...
so if I disagree, think separate and let my mind go askew

Those lines right there was the narritave hook. Captured me to read the rest of this.

---->The flow of this was insipiring, and the imagery was insane. Dam pen by far i think you're the best open mic head in this site. Much love and respect.

~holla if ya hear me

^ Thank you...

**Freeman** · February 25th, 2004, 04:46 PM

DRIVE BY...

You know what ive said...

Hit up my OM to save me upping it myself...

Thanks... ...

Pz...

ZOOMS OFF

**Reason!** · February 25th, 2004, 06:33 PM

everybody has pretty much said it here man,
i was digging the opener a lot,
so as soon as i read that,
i knew it was going to be good,
you got good vocab in your peices,
and thats a big plus to me,
like, a real big factor, lol ,
dont know why, anywayz,
the flow was kool, fell off at points,
but nonetheless it picked back up,
may i also add, this had some real nice imagery,
seriously, thats another factor to me,
overall this was a decent read and i give it,
a 8.5/10, not bad dude, props.

* even though u only left a 1 line reply on my peice,

and i know this belongs in poetry,
i always post my peices in both,
as i was told to get more feedback,
although ya'll cant see that,
and i haven't got any feedback,
knowing on whati should work on,
lol, but its all good, i aint sweatin it,
nonetheless, props, good read.

peace.

**Penskills** · February 26th, 2004, 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by ELEETE

It never seizes to amaze me the type of quality you put into your work......by far this is your best piece I've read from you....this is nothing less than legendary which I'm sure it will become....dope....once again you imagery was one of the best if not the best I've read here on RB.......this piece truly outdoes every other one of your pieces by far......I can tell you put a lot of thought into this one....peace!

^Dope

**Penskills** · February 27th, 2004, 12:12 AM

Just feel like doing this...Up for Legends...Hoo~~Ray~~~~

**SMZ** · February 27th, 2004, 12:57 AM

Nice opener - I'm thinking this is a philosophical piece and then the brutality hits - very attention grabbing. Good description as usual. Saw a good number of multi's and internals - they kept the piece flowing. I thought it was interesting how the kinda footnote (background info part) was longer than the present action parts - I think you could maybe expand the beginning and end so this wasn't the case. Nice closer - I was confused though. You didn't mention "Ashe" at any previous point - that I saw - so it threw me off a little. Very nice as usual though - thnx for taking the time to read mine.

**Dios de Hip Hop** · February 27th, 2004, 02:40 AM

um.
nice.
The imagery was good and wordplay
off the hook, the vocabulary showed
knowledge but theres something u should
work on ... origionality and impact
at the end i felt lost...the riseing action
towards the ending should be very clear
good imagery and dont stray off into
diff things....but to the death of his lil brother.
mabey should of mentioned that there was
a lil brother more throughout the story.
But overall you got the peice good.
. . . . .. drop smore.