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Thread: I hate life

  1. #1
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    I hate life

    Life sucks when ur a kid
    I just can't wait to get big
    get out of this hell
    to me my home is a prison cell
    waiting a few more years to be free
    to get of this house is like a creed
    to have people who like me for who i am
    not just for people to use me for a scam
    I want people to give me respect
    some people think this rhyme is a big aspect
    I'm sick of tire of helping others
    but to do something for me they don't even bother
    I'm sick of these bitches asking me for a favor
    they all look up to me as there savior
    most of my family has never care
    to control this emotion it's hard to bare
    I'm surprise I'm not in a gang
    lucky to them I think gangs are lame
    I tried not to let the things my mom says to me get to my head
    but sometimes at night I just to kill my self while she's sleeping in bed
    she hates when I write these rhymes
    she acts like this is a crime
    I look to God so many times
    and he always helped me
    he's the only one who sets my soul free
    I been traveling this adventure alone
    waiting for someone who could stop me and put me on hold
    I live a depressing life
    the only one who excepts me is Christ
    I went through wall through wall
    waiting for the right person to call
    I don't deserve to have a living
    all the things I been through is unforgiving
    peer pressure makes u insane
    I guess I don't have that long until my life gets proclaim
    when these mcs probaly read this and think I'm crazy
    if u do it just to show u when it comes to my life i ain't lazy
    I know something like this happen to yall
    it's like when mcnab drop the ball
    but the ball represents ur life
    willing to give it all up in a useless fight
    thinking damn none of our problems will turn out right
    fading away and losing sight
    Last edited by lunatic; February 24th, 2004 at 02:26 PM

  2. #2
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    You need to leave 2 links of replies you left or this will get closed, Thanks.

  3. #3
    \(^-^)/ Freeman's Avatar
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    Im sure he would want this closed... Lol...

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  4. #4
    IllConceptz
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    I dunno man, sorta crappy, had some emotion to it but not much, kind of a depressing topic, but its alright I guess.. Multis were lackin. Vocab was weak... It had flow I guess... Structure was wacked... Spit from your heart not from your tongue man thats my advice..
    Pz.

  5. #5
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    well i aint one for pussy footing round.... this wasn't very good... an elemantary rhyme.... also, why ya rippin Ill's name.... work on ya game..all round..... hit mine, if ya aint too bitter bout ya replies....lmao
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  6. #6
    slap...slap...slap conquistador's Avatar
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    fairly simply, but we all can relate
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  7. #7
    Back By Popular Demand... ELEETE's Avatar
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    Yea you could use work.......no biggy though you got time to elevate.........when i started off i sounded much like you do now.......ive elevated a lot since then.....keep writing from heart an keep doing it as often as you can itll eventually flow very easily out of your mind.....keep at it an dont let others discourage you? feel me? coo......hit up my latest piece! its a collab with Dev....Its called Mind Spoken....click the link in my signature! thanks! an remember what i said! Peace.......

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  8. #8
    Banned FaceFuckaMidget.'s Avatar
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    pretty shitty.....nice at very few points, and the topic.....

    "I Hate Life", well thats every1's story so get a new topic.....

  9. #9
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    Exclamation

    man don't say this is shitty because this I take to the fucking heart u don't know wha I been through in others words don't fuck wit me

  10. #10
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lunatic
    man don't say this is shitty because this I take to the fucking heart u don't know wha I been through in others words don't fuck wit me
    ^Don't post here if you don't want people to have an opinion!
    Every shares a different view,What's personal to you,May not be so personal to me...I don't know what you've been through..but..if you don't want people telling you this sucked...well...write a better piece...

  11. #11
    Back By Popular Demand... ELEETE's Avatar
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    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by lunatic
    man don't say this is shitty because this I take to the fucking heart u don't know wha I been through in others words don't fuck wit me
    Just go by what i told you

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  12. #12
    Newbie Genazyde's Avatar
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    If you take it to heart, then you'll know what exactly to improve on next time... if you take in what niggaz is tell'n you, then you'll elevate... believe me

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  13. #13
    Back By Popular Demand... ELEETE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Genazyde
    If you take it to heart, then you'll know what exactly to improve on next time... if you take in what niggaz is tell'n you, then you'll elevate... believe me

    ^^ He has a point ^^

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  14. #14
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    aight this peice kinda fell off, the structure and the flow was inconsistant. id say the dude is just rtying to find his woings right now so as everyone here is still trying to.. if ur not... then ya fell off lol. but ya i say give this time and rethink ur structure man. other than that.. keep doing u, u can only get better...oike everyone here.


    Sylem
    Just another Emcee trying to make music for the whole world to vibe wit...

  15. #15
    slap...slap...slap conquistador's Avatar
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    this rhyme was ok but it ain't worth trying to analyze because all it's messages are obvious, I would'nt be surprised if you was like 12 years old or something, and there is no imagery...kinda boring just complaining man...you are better than this.
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