Why Me?

[Cory Stylez]

He was just a boy, who wanted to bring his family joy...
He wanted toys, but never got anything but noise,...
Of his parents fighting, his dad yelling, his mom crying...
But for his sake they would stay together and keep on trying...
His childhood wasnt the best but he made the most of it...
Went to school everyday to deal with bully's shit...
He stood tall against 'em even though he didnt stand a chance...
He came home just to get beat again, his dad waiting with a belt in his hands...
As he was getting beat, he realized his dad didnt see what he sees...
This kid was going to be great, he knew it was destiny...

Why me?
Why do i have to take this step in history?
Why do i have to be the missing link,
just to solve this mystery?
With a raised fist, i stand tall,
I can do anything...
But why does this have to be my destiny?
Why me?

It's senior year in highschool, and still he has no friends...
He looks on in awe, as a crowd of people gather around him...
He looks to his left, just in time to see a figure enter the crowd...
He knows he needs to take a risk, and he says something aloud...
"What do you expect to get from this?
Giving me a broken face and you a broken fist?
Why do you choose me to take your shit, anyways?
Do you expect me to laugh when your spit hits my face?
Do you expect me to smile when you trip me in the hall?
Do you?!?!?" he asked, as he shoved the bully to the wall...

Why me?
Why do i have to take this step in history?
Why do i have to be the missing link,
just to solve this mystery?
With a raised fist, i stand tall,
I can do anything...
But why does this have to be my destiny?
Why me?

He stands behind the scenes, he can hear the peoples roar...
As he stands up from praying, he hears a knock on the door...
"Are you ready, sir?" a man asks and he replys with a yes...
He's nervous, his heart is beating vigorously in his chest...
He walks on stage, the crowd screams with delight...
He stands behind the podium and says "Tonight is the night"...
"It's time to revolt! We've dealt with these problems way too long!"...
"This country has no respect for us! We've all been treated wrong!"...
At that moment time stops as a man pulls out a gun...
With one squeeze of a finger, his destiny is done...

Why me?
Why do i have to take this step in history?
Why do i have to be the missing link,
just to solve this mystery?
With a raised fist, i stand tall,
I can do anything...
But why does this have to be my destiny?
Why me?




this is just something i wrote off the top of my head tonite, i just kinda got the idea and wrote it, ima record it soon so look out for that, too.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...53#post1230053
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...60#post1230060

[Cory Stylez]

up for feedback

[Endeva.]

well then, the hook sounds a bit familiar.... hmm...lol.... you seemed to have quite a bit of emotion in this, the scheme was decent enough, but some places seemed out of place to the rest.. id smoothen it out a bit, dont mean bars jus the overall consistancy of the verses, they did match up tho , that isnt what i mean jus incase ya thinking... jus seemed to chop and change a bit..... still a good verse tho.... got feeling in it.....

[Maven.]

Make Yourself? Battstar scratlactica? incubus fan, eh? nice

I really enjoyed this piece, it was a nice little story. It was cool to see the evolution of the character throughout, but I'm not quite sure where he was when he was killed...there were no details. it seemed like he was starting some kind of revolution.

Anyways, your storytelling is dope, even though the stuff about his broken home and shit was bit played out. You should try to work on flow a bit, and maybe play around with different formats so you can develop your own style. This was nice though.

[Cory Stylez]

^ yea incubus is my fav band

but yea flow was a bit choppy on this one, and this is my first open mic, glad to see some positive feedback, but about the flow...even i realized it was choppy, but i just wrote it off the top of my head as it came out. but yea maven he was starting a revolution but i left it in a kind of open state to where the reader can imagine what hes doin, but in my mind hes starting a revolution.

but thanks for the feedback guys