User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Peace RB for a minute

  1. #1
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,744
    Battle Record
    1-12

    Peace RB for a minute

    Parting is such sweet sorrow
    one to say the two will not be tommorow
    No matter how long the courtship has existed
    The schism will illicit heavy sobbing and cries
    The tears well and eyes shut to resist the swell
    But the gates must give, as if signaled by bell
    the bells rings, the floodgates open, the saline flows
    but salty emissions are not the worst of the thoroughs
    the mental anguish of separation is devastating
    the reason for life itself appears to be dissapating
    nothing matters in your struggle against death in retrograde
    Just emerging unscathed from the perpetually twisiting maze
    succesful navigation of the mutating enigmatic labyrinth
    known as life to its many inhabitants
    the events appear as encrypted ciphers
    cleartext below, but cannot be deciphered
    so you hopelessly attempt to rationalize your being
    but no crypto genius could surmise a meaning
    because there isn't one to understand
    A pointless amalgam of organs and glands
    Meaning stirpped away... the pain still stings
    Why o why did we share two rings
    My questions turn from tears to thoguhts of self exectution
    suicide isn't perfect, but a transient solution
    with all the intensity of a demon entranced
    i bury my eyes in the mirror and study the black pearls
    two shallow pools of brown...fixated on the blade n my hands
    My life, it must unfurl
    before i choose to end it all with a quick flourIish



    (life stares at you, never to remove its glance
    you believe it's cricumstance, life's not out to get you
    when it's really a dance, choreographed, the steps laid out before you
    I implore you, as soem evangelist on television
    never waste time, take advantage of fortuitous visions
    squander not your time on this planet
    give a big FUCK YOU to life and let it have it
    fuck shit up, civil disobedience, cause damage
    anarchy fucka government , im osama you bastards
    bawl not when soldiers fall the effort is undaunted
    vive la resistence...flow til you die, bavehearts flaunted

    Just needed to get that outta my system
    I love America, it's beautiful flaws and wisdom
    Sometimes you get angry, it's just one of those days


    by david alexander bryant jr

    wish id written something better..oh well)

    everythign in parenthesis, im not sure if it should be a part of the base....changes the mood
    Last edited by Sublime D; August 28th, 2004 at 03:46 PM
    Bittersweet

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    615
    vocab was good flow was ok but work on the topic and dont be so vague with it, make it more understandable

    vote on my battle.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108195

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    5,951
    Battle Record
    30-3
    Im assuming you used an online dictionary.
    If not then im impressed by your vocabulary.
    Sounds like a poem to me but the FUCK YOU
    part killed it, Good stuff.. keep it commin!
    QueenStyle

  4. #4
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    ..::::..::..::::..
    Posts
    2,550
    Battle Record
    8-87
    ..NIce...very nice...great Vocab..good flow..but..one question???..where you going????

  5. #5
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,744
    Battle Record
    1-12
    never used a rhyming dictionary..i have a ridiculously huge vocabulary...i was personally dissapointed with this....it wasn't as complex as id like...
    Bittersweet

  6. #6
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,744
    Battle Record
    1-12
    ok edited``
    Bittersweet

  7. #7
    Prevailed Rue
    Guest
    this was good i enjoyed the concept and the all round base of the song. both verses really creative good vocab i ejoyed the consistancy very well done.

    I'd quote lines but i'm lazy.

    Keep it up man.

  8. #8
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,744
    Battle Record
    1-12
    last thing ima up
    Bittersweet

  9. #9
    NeoBaby
    Guest
    Damn you have some hot ass lyrics and you stayed within the context of your subject, and your structure was all intune...keep it up playboy...much luv

    peace

  10. #10
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Buffalo, NY
    Age
    36
    Posts
    3,744
    Battle Record
    1-12
    try reading my poems...and thansk for the reply
    Bittersweet

  11. #11
    La Foret Incineratedrose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Home.
    Age
    34
    Posts
    11,866
    Battle Record
    16-3
    yeah, good stuff... and "playboy"... what the heck was that about..?? but yeah ur vocab was great, so good job with that and i liked the structure, i thought it was VERY strong and consistent, good stuff man...
    MondoThugs.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Meta. Convicts

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Similar Threads

  1. Just A Minute
    By LivenLearn23 in forum The Studio
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: January 7th, 2012, 01:43 AM
  2. Been a minute
    By Fiasco in forum Member Pictures
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: December 31st, 2008, 01:59 AM
  3. Been a minute
    By Av1r3x in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: December 16th, 2002, 03:06 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •