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Thread: Corrupted Visions: I'm Sorry

  1. #1
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    Corrupted Visions: I'm Sorry

    Look…I’m sorry for everything I did…I know I messed things up between us…but don’t let it stand in our way…Listen…


    I’m Sorry…Nothing can explain how I just feel right now…
    It seems your out of my sight now with what I write down…
    Cause truth speaks through my words that I did not see…
    Everything you said got me…felt like someone shot me…
    Then I bursted out in anger, hurting you more than before…
    I didn’t see that…but you left and just slammed the door…
    I’ll admit that I broke down….and I… I just started crying…
    Cause I just thought I lost you….cause my heart is dying…
    I pounded the floor with my fist as tears went down my cheeks…
    Knowing that I lost you forever and these frowns I keep…

    Hurting you I didn’t mean it, Im sorry…
    The pain I caused I didn’t see it, Im sorry…
    Hurting you I didn’t mean it, Im sorry…
    The pain I caused I didn’t see it, Im sorry…

    I’m Sorry…Nothing can take back what I said that day…
    Probably lost you forever but I don’t wanna head that way…
    Cause I love you so much and nothing will ever change it…
    When I cry my eyes rain it…but just all of this pain fits…
    Cause the things I said I didn’t mean, They were not true…
    But my words were like acid to your heart, they rot through…
    And seeing your eyes swell up with tears just hurt me…
    Cause I knew how much your love was, I wasn’t worthy…
    Eyes got blurry, I couldn’t see you leave but I heard you..
    Didn’t mean to hurt you..but girl I know we can work through…

    Hurting you I didn’t mean it, Im sorry…
    The pain I caused I didn’t see it, Im sorry…
    Hurting you I didn’t mean it, Im sorry…
    The pain I caused I didn’t see it, Im sorry…

    I’m Sorry…Nothing can take back the mistakes I made…
    I honestly need you here, but all of this fate just fades…
    Cause even a lover makes a mistake sometimes though…
    You said every heart you lost but you won mine though…
    Doesn’t that mean anything to you anymore? I guess not…
    Now I just fill with so much pain that my chest rots…
    I have a broken heart all because of the mistakes I did…
    Now I close my eyes as tears flow out from my eyelids…
    Its times like these that I wish you would take me back…
    I just want to say that I’m sorry…and I really mean that…

  2. #2
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    yea this was nice C. man I think ya used your topic well in this and it was very Good....Ya Structure is Good in this Like it always Is.....ya Flow was the Strong Point in this i think....Ya Have really good Multis IN this some are very Differcult man...so this was really Good and One Of Ya best i think Very Good Work Man....PeacE....

  3. #3
    and fuck you too Meks.'s Avatar
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    yo i liked this piece.....very expressive....and good painting a picture for your reader, you stayed on topic nicely....vocab was solid...so was strucutre....and your wordplay i liked alot....nice as piece...good job c keep that shit comin......
    9/10

    peace

    check out
    open mic - Heres Something For Your Intrigue

  4. #4
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    ..Another dope piece..what else to expect from you..as aways it is true enjoyement reading your piece..but I must say..you are turning into a softy~~~LMAO~~~

  5. #5
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    Hey Thanks For The Feedback So Far, Keep The Feedback Coming In, Its Much Appreicated, Thanks.

  6. #6
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    Wow..I'm might have to use this on my ex..
    Nicely done..flow and all..verbally..
    Concept..a little ehh but still..i liked how u hit it..
    Though..at times i lost the flow..but it came back..
    Now much else to say..
    please go peep my latest o.m..In the shoes of..
    WordPerfect

  7. #7
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    Hey Thanks For The Feedback So Far, Keep The Feedback Coming In, Its Much Appreciated, Thanks.

  8. #8
    Ken Dawg
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    Awesome

    That was a touching peace. Good flow and wordchoice. Keep up the good work!............................................. ..............................

  9. #9
    Vokal Rights
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    that was tight, it seemed more like R+B...but still tight....i liked the line...
    "Cause the things I said I didn’t mean, They were not true…
    But my words were like acid to your heart, they rot through…
    And seeing your eyes swell up with tears just hurt me…
    Cause I knew how much your love was, I wasn’t worthy…"

    that line was touching....keep spittin'...peace

  10. #10
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    Upping For More Feedback

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