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Thread: Blood On The Pillow

  1. #1
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Exclamation Blood On The Pillow

    Blood On The Pillow

    ...
    ..
    .

    .. Struggling Home, a man of mere muscle and bone ..
    Sun setting in the distance as this wanderer roams
    Un-loved and alone, judged by the look of his clothes
    The loveable rogue had sprouted from rubble and stone
    Covering the globe blindly, black heart vacant again
    .. His final destination would change with the wind ..
    The faith within himself will be heavily called upon
    As stamina is the key to completing this walkathon
    A trek across the globe through each of its continents
    Satchel at the side of his ruffled jacket, and off he went
    .
    .
    .
    Seeking lost inspiration, not the lives other cater
    .. but the eighth wonder of the world; Mother nature ..
    That's where the faith within himself would be starved again
    As he walks the road less travelled trying to harbour the pain
    More sparkling rain cascaded; a tribute to the ever green
    Grass beneath our heroes feet, some where he'd never been
    The week's passed like days, still he maintained his passion
    Stopping only for short breaks of food he'd break into rations
    Following the compass hands, the young man so forth persisted
    And vowed to reach the place he wasn't even sure existed
    .
    .. After Three Month's ..
    .

    North

    Clouds swarmed the highlands, formed before his eyelids
    Which indicated strongly; a storm was on the horizon
    The traveller walked in silence .. showed no sign of slight care
    His cold breath clearly visible in the midnight air
    Right there and then he paused, his eyes widening instantly
    Was it the wind he was hearing, or a mother nature symphony?
    .. The sound seemed to be growing, & calling his name ..
    But was this a cry for help, or was this all in his brain?
    The traveller walked in silence .. showed no sign of slight care
    His cold breath clearly visible in the midnight air
    Right there and then he paused, his eyes widening instantly
    Was it the wind he was hearing, or mother nature's symphony?

    .
    Before he'd even fully contemplated; the weather settled
    Leaving just loose leaves, a cool breeze and a gentle echo
    A town's presence bellowed .. a sight to feast your eyes
    'Fore after many sleepless night's, he'd reached the eastern side
    .
    .. After Six Months ..
    .

    East

    Unsure of his true position, and yet this youth persisted
    The star's forming an outline around the moon in the distance
    Consumed for the instant; amazed by the fire's colours
    He see's beauty in the flame's often overlooked by others
    Their like lover's, and in some aspects, their much the same
    Each one with a flameful passion, wanting to touch the flame
    Flirting atop the candle sticks; until both grow bolder
    And start dancing to the harmony of an unknown composer
    Intertwining their bodies of ember light; each is nervous
    Both fading out as the smoke clears, once they reach the surface
    Unsure of his true position, and yet this youth persisted
    The star's forming an outline around the moon in the distance
    Consumed for the instant; amazed by the fire's colours
    He see's beauty in the flame's often overlooked by others
    Intertwining their bodies of ember light; each is nervous
    Both fading out as the smoke clears, once they reach the surface


    .
    Gallantly pacing forth on a tretch to the western basin
    Missing the creature comfort's; the rest & relaxation
    with no set destination .. following the compass blindly
    .. Only travelling inside the plane's his mind reached ..
    .
    .. After Nine Months ..
    .

    West

    Arriving to the fresh scent, of the grass & flower's present
    Then suddenly overcome by a rotten and foul essence
    Kneeling down, watching grass turn from green to brown
    A slight breeze sweeps the ground the leaves have crowned
    Making each now dance, as the wind's swept beneath
    .. It's nature's foxtrot performed with two left feet ..
    Then unexpectedly, something disturbed the plates
    Causing frction between them, resulting in Earthquakes
    Volcanoe's erupted .. Monsoon's persued them
    The O zone now shrunk smaller due to pollution
    He knew something linked these, caught in the quest
    Wind, Fire, Earth .. so Water was next ?
    Kneeling down, watching grass turn from green to brown
    A slight breeze sweeps the ground the leaves have crowned
    Making each now dance, as the wind's swept beneath
    .. It's nature's foxtrot performed with two left feet ..
    He knew something linked these, caught in the quest
    Wind, Fire, Earth .. so Water was next ?

    .
    The journey almost done, he was deep in thought
    Placing the puzzle pieces as he proceeded forth
    Wondering to himself whether he should write down
    The marathon of thoughts Running through his mind now
    A slight sound caught his ear .. Colour filled his face then
    Fore after months of chasing
    He'd found the final destination
    .
    .. After A Year ..
    .

    South

    It wasn't like he'd expected .. Nothing surrounds here
    But an Ocean of Emotion formed by the cloud's tears
    Profound spears of ice hung proud from within caves
    Above the beaches top lip, in attempts to kiss waves
    A crystal glaze sparkled from the calm & rural storm
    The fountain of youth releasing H2O in its purest form
    Waterfall's casually cascaded over rocks
    Our wanderer looked on, amazed as he watched
    It wasn't like he'd expected .. Nothing surrounds here
    But an Ocean of Emotion formed by the cloud's tears
    Profound spears of ice hung proud from within caves
    Above the beaches top lip, in attempts to kiss waves
    A crystal glaze sparkled from the calm & rural storm
    The fountain of youth releasing H2O in its purest form

    The waves had then stopped as he attempted to reach them
    He had now learned the message God was trying to teach him
    .
    .
    .
    Wind, Fire, Earth and Water .. they're the Four elements
    North, East, West then South .. because NEWS always spreads
    It all makes sense .. and yet ive figured nothing out
    We know the problem .. yet its one we do Nothing about
    And yes, i will put it down. Here's the message:
    We as human's are the Blood On The Pillow
    .
    .
    .
    Of Mother nature's death Bed.

    Peace.

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  2. #2
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Cam...

    Despite you being a dick to me most of the time...

    I went ahead and read this long ass verse for you...
    (since hours had passed and no one else had)

    So you owe me one whenever I have one to link you.

    Dude...

    This verse was pretty fuckin extraordinary.
    Way too long, and I wasn't sure what you were getting at with the hook.

    But, man...

    Your imagery, vocab, multi's and flow were amazing.

    And the message came together nicely...

    Made quite the impact.

    Yep, we are fucking this world up pretty good.
    It's a shame this message won't be appreciated like it should.
    (^^^ above line wasn't meant to be a rhyme)
    Or adhered to.

    But you busted this one out as well as anyone could have...

    Great fuckin work.

    Legend's material as far as I'm concerned.

    9/10

  3. #3
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Yeah, i really went to town on this. It's on some epic 102 lines type shit .. HaHa .. there is no real 'hook' to it, it repeats in the verses to emphasize what was happening.

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  4. #4
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    That was by far...One of the best Open Mic drops i've ever seen
    Very deep....Good detail.....Imagery was interesting.....Wordplay good
    Very long.... but very interesting to read.....Nice peice...
    Props to ya.....Keep it up......I'll start readin your shit more often

    Rate
    19.5/20


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  5. #5
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    ..Long as Shit..but..I must agree with ..
    ..this was one of the nicest open mic's I read so far...

  6. #6
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    oOoOOOooOoOOoOOoOoOOooOOOOoOOOo

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  7. #7
    fast.
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    woah. took the time to finally read it.
    no wait, thats a lie, i picked up where i left off and basically
    skimmed through it for the second time.
    fastforwords.>>
    //WordPerfect

  8. #8
    fast.
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    ok read it fully this time and you are by far the most amazing
    writer ive read of so far. this is beyond anything ive ever read by
    chicken or father flow.. this is beyond the talent or status quo's
    or elf's work.. this is something to itself.. i loved how you used
    NEWS.. so many good concepts and such a good piece. dope.
    Legends-Forever Ill- Whatever.. it was all dope.
    fastforwords.>>
    //WordPerfect

  9. #9
    Banned Se7eN's Avatar
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    good shit dawg, nice vocab and nice shit, since I did give ya my opinion, can u honestly vote on this battle here,,,,,,

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...hreadid=104849

  10. #10
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Cheers folks ..

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  11. #11
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    observe as I thrust my penis in and out of your left eye =)

    this is a fantastic piece Cam, you don't need this reply to tell you that.
    I don't know if I necessarily liked the repetition of the first half of the verse before the second half of the verse....sometimes it was dope, but other times it just seemed to be filler.
    The blood on the pillow thing was very well worked in.
    Oh, and this is going in legends whether people vote it in or not.
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  12. #12
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    Cam, This Was Beyond Dope. . Incredible Shit. . I Actually Like The Repetition, Gave More Meaning. . The Blood On The Pillow Concept Worked In Was Real Dope. . All The Parts Were Insanely Dope. . This Should Be In Legends Forreal. . Flow Was On-Point. . God, There Are So Many Positive Things I Could Say, But I'm Tired. . So This Shit Is Forever Ill, Legendary, W/E RB Calls It. . This Is A Fucking Gem.

  13. #13
    Roll Out The Barrel N-Demik's Avatar
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    See you diss backpacker rap...and then you go and contradict yourself and write a dope piece using a backpacker rhyme scheme..Haha..

    How ironic?!

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  14. #14
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Lol at a backpacker rhyme scheme. I actually dont like most the stuff you listen to ..

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  15. #15
    Roll Out The Barrel N-Demik's Avatar
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    Yes, I know you don't...Doesn't stop you from using a similar rhyme scheme though.

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