You know how it goes.
Check wednesday, due friday.
3 voting links.
New rule - EVERY PERSON MUST VOTE ON THE CHAMP MATCH, -1 VOTE FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T.
You know how it goes.
Check wednesday, due friday.
3 voting links.
New rule - EVERY PERSON MUST VOTE ON THE CHAMP MATCH, -1 VOTE FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T.
LOL
Aych Eff
Hence Forward
axis powers
Cool, I'll prolly drop Thursday. Peace.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...le-369833.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...se-369840.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ti-369837.html
Last edited by Brandon Cee; June 16th, 2008 at 02:16 AM
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
Pluck, pluck, bag.
I learned rhythm, through repetition
and soul, through death.
The cold had crept into the hole in my chest.
The hole that was left, by hope, when it fled.
Now, the cold just grows, and it rests.
To, one day, start engulfing my flesh.
That’s the chill that you feel ,
when you’re sold for your sweat.
Sold to be used, to work the fields.
The rhythm silences the hurt you feel.
So you pluck to a pattern and it numbs you to it.
Hear the soul as you sing and hum right through it.
My rhythm was homed with the work I had.
If you picked to a beat, it didn’t hurt as bad.
Pluck, pluck, bag. . Pluck, pluck, bag. .
You do it all day and the thorns wont burn.
The new slaves don’t make it if they don’t learn.
The bloody fingertips go numb in minutes,
and all of us do it, I’ve come to witness. .
. .We learn rhythm through something vicious.
Pluck, pluck, bag. . Pluck, pluck, bag. .
You sing and the hurt in in your voice calms.
The soul comes from the red in your moist palms.
It comes from your fear and heartache.
From your dark fate, trapped in this dark place.
From feeling your heart race,
staring into your brother’s dark face,
as they burned him, as an example - you die with’im,
so the soul when you hum, matches your rhythm
Pluck, pluck, bag. . Pluck, pluck, bag
Our Rhythm and soul grew from our hardest days,
so you can hear it in Aretha and Marvin Gaye.
Our songs were all we had to save,
So we passed them to Al Greene and Donnie Hathaway.
You can hear us in Billie Holiday inflections -
Our gift to our seeds, at inception.
It’s the reason they sing soul and love that jazz.
If you listen close, you hear: “Pluck, pluck, bag”
Pluck, pluck, bag.
Hence Forward
axis powers
Root 66
Every man demands a chance to challenge and touch a lover
That's how the fallacies start; we don't manage to love another
Undercover, we run in place like running man's back into style
Reach the rack of tile, then watch it bend and break for a while
The race goes for miles, but 1 meter at a time seems far worse
When stars search for you - the loudest screams aren't heard
Let the chalice bleed the work of sweat and tears for easy jobs
While the hog grips his balls and shares sex with sleezy snobs
Stalking the breeze is not easy when you're down in the dumps
This ground is enough to root for me, but I'm now just a stump
I'm called as a lump of grass...growing as my heart depletes
I wood do a lot for that feeling as my journey em-barks with me
Every part in me surpasses the landscape that I'm tangled in
But I'll branch out onto a limb; go all out on this mangled whim
As every old hymn is sung as mine begins with a horn and a flute
Mother Nature and Father Time are harsh, but I'm born of the two
And I'm supporting the view, I'd be bored without lore you see, huh?
The just hard-knocks have reached my door with a court subpoena
So I believe in more than you've known, faith in love is doubt in life
Every round has fights - but every knight hangs 'round in spite
Drown the kinfe in crimson waves as the flesh is breading to gods
Ready your hearts for revolution, 360 degrees of regretting a thought
The desert, distraught; cruelty's hot in the sand of sulfur and flame
The name's known to your gang, but nobody really knows your name
Lost and in pain, the damage is done and I'm feeling the hurt
Peeling the earth's crust out of my eyes, so I can reveal my dirt
It's nothing, but a reel to reverse, replay highlights and then close it
As if to expose it's half-assed attempts at an Ameri-posed wit
Dead and gone when I'm not alone in the sacrificial lambs bones
But that's no sacrifice - it's just the equivalent of last home
That's no lie either...I have no place to go and I'm tossed today
The astronomy is no longer in the stars when I'm here, lost in space
I've thought to say nothing, but I have to say more than in the past
It's all under wraps now because I'm in love with loss and that's that
Root 66 never ends when you're stuck on it forver.
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1319/...4265351fb1.jpg
Last edited by Brandon Cee; June 14th, 2008 at 06:29 PM Reason: fixed the picture
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
real good battle... last season champ against chris black himself... the match speaks to you before you even read it. but there can only be one so lets get down to what I liked and didn't like...
Chris, your piece was dope... I've seen people do these sort of tribute to music pieces before... but you got down to the grit and grime of music... the roots if you will... you put a beat and a reason to some of the greatest music artists of all time with a simple "pluck, pluck, bag"... I felt the heart/point of it in every word I read... I can say that I've seen close/similar pieces but never one QUITE like this one. I've seen Billy Holiday tributes on this site... I've seen Marvin Gaye tributes... but I can't recall an entire tribute to the roots of what we call a BEAT... you wrote elegantly and came out with a chunk of treasure here... good read, nothing I disliked about it... although, where did you get the topic? lol.
Brandon, you too man... great read... I can't tell you whether it was the mechanics of the piece or just the concept that I liked... but I liked it. it was written very well though. wording was just as good as Chris's, and I think you had some really great lines in there... the whole theme of a man rooted to a road and doomed to walk it forever was pretty dope... liked that right there. the picture is a red x for me but it's obvious which picture you chose lol. there was a lot of sadness and deep thought put into your writing... you could feel it when you read. I could definitely get into this just as easily as most of your writing. I think it's sort've funny how your topics both were sort of related as far as roots go... but both of you came out with different points from what seemed to originate as the same story. I felt like I was reading a roots trilogy or something when I was done reading both your pieces... made my mind rest easy two, after reading the first piece my mind was themed for the second already... nothing I disliked here either...
I guess it's down to which piece entertained me more... me myself, am usually a rhythm type of guy, but it's so hard to choose because reading brandon's and the journey this man is taking was awesome too... dunno... you both put a lot into this it seems... I could be wrong but it really feels and reads as if you did... I'm sorry to say that only one of you can win this match lol, if not I'd vote a damn tie... but really guys... loved the reads... thanks... and my final decision is going to be...
vote/Brandon, by the hair of an ass... you both did great... but I think B's just came smoother to me... more thought out. if I based this vote on the feeling and effect the writing had on me, I think it'd be closer to Chris for me... this battle is really a fucking coin toss...
peace...
Okay, guys, good job to both... Chris, right off the back, your usual creativity and just the plain realness from you... you really jumped into the piece a little basically, though, like, a lot of the rhyme schemes are real easy end rhymes with two syllables, ya know? That one time you use dark face and place like four times in succession, I was frowning, but the overall message of the piece was more of the hitch to the verse. I just didn't see enough, like, quotable material here that made me really get into your groove, it seemed like some lines just kind of spilled out onto the page cuz they rhymed, and some were much more inspired and true to what you were trying to say all along. I think it being so tied to black culture helped the piece and the reasoning behind it and made it much more emotional, obviously, but I just didn't get into a lot of the lines after the opening segment, ya dig? Nice write, tho.
brandon - I guess the first thing I gotta give you is the creativity nudge, that was a pretty cool way to go with that picture, I gotta give it up... This one part was just tight how it tied in:
^^^A lot of really cool wordings and relations to the picture about this guy... I was just impressed going back to read it the second time when basing my opinions for the vote on this match how well you were really wired into the topic. Also, NO ITALICS SECTION!!! YAY!!! lolStalking the breeze is not easy when you're down in the dumps
This ground is enough to root for me, but I'm now just a stump
I'm called as a lump of grass...growing as my heart depletes
I wood do a lot for that feeling as my journey em-barks with me
Every part in me surpasses the landscape that I'm tangled in
But I'll branch out onto a limb; go all out on this mangled whim
As every old hymn is sung as mine begins with a horn and a flute
Mother Nature and Father Time are harsh, but I'm born of the two
For that alone I have to be on ur side, right? I mean, the problem with the verse is how it ends, you end it kind of sloppily in my opinion, it just seemed to drag as far as rhymescheme goes. But, overall, I gotta give it to you on the creativity and the foresight for the execution, you planned the piece well and really outdid urself, in my opinion.
vote to Brandon, good match guys
A.I.
"She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."
Chris- nice piece man i really like the topic you picked because it was'nt very common and i applaud you for sorta going against the grain. Nice flow and rhyme scheme in this and i loved the imagery not really much bad i can say
Brandon- Nice piece also i loved the imagery here also i liked the way you approached this topic cuz i cudnt think of a way to use dat pic buut bot u came wit a dope way. I also loved ur rhyme scheme man cuz in no place did u slip on it overrall a really good readd
Vote- Brandon for an overral better read better read although both of ur verses were really nice
Hit N' Run
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Thanks all. Good match Chris.
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
Well...
I really dug Brandon's constant stream of metaphors and wordplay...
That was really tight.
Real good, insightful shit...can't say anything bad about it cept maybe it rambled a bit towards the end...coulda been wrapped up better, but aside from that small flaw, it was pretty fuckin good.
However, I was nearly floored by Chris'.
To me, this was pretty fuckin amazing...great story, great emotion, and great name dropping...awesome tie-ins to the present...well, Aretha ain't exactly present...her best shit was decades ago...but still.
I know what ya getting at and I'm thoroughly impressed.
Sorry, Brandon...it's choosing between a very solid, almost flawless presentation...or one that just blew me away. It's tough...but...
Vote: Chris
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