Whispering Winds.

[Thomas]

Whispering Winds


It seems to soften my soul
the breeze so delicate-
that shivers my bones.
My frail attempts to block out the demons
that hover over my head, stirring my mind
into oblivion twitter my eye lids as I fidget with fear.

I can smell her scent-
feel the touch that used to make me tremble
as the wind sets itself into bed,
the restraint on my heart seems iron cladded
as my head shoots round glaring at all angles
wondering whether i'm going mad
as her whispers play on my canvas.

I'm reminded of happier times-
the roaming of my mind however
is quite different from the one wandering my feet
I try and hold my tears back-
but have you ever smiled and cried at the same time?
Like the sun as it battles the rainfall
its never quite comforting enough for you to want to go outside
your comfort zone and embark out through natures door.

I seem to float on her words,
the sweet nothings that were once uttered with bliss
under the gaze of autumn's azure eyes
I stutter my steps and trip on leaves-
each one seem to wield an emotion
although, these seem easier to discard from my path
than the ones that prey on my mind.

She torments me still.
She seems to bleed my energy
and make me weak at the knees,
her wispers that blow my mind
are now blinding me as the wind
quickens my pace down the lonely paths of my world.

The battle is not the force of nature
its the natural forces that strain your mind.

Like the wind whispering through the trees
Your spirit is far from lifting,
The hold you have on me obvious-
But doesn't teach me valuable lessons.

-Messy.

[Thomas]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...901/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...746/index.html

[LyricallyInclined]

pretty dope man, the imagery was good, the wordplay was pretty good, structer was good over all dope peice

[Mystery~Murdera]

I have to agree with Inclined. Though I'm not a poet head... anymore... the imagery is what caught me first and foremost. Strong.

Originally Posted by Messiah.

I can smell her scent-
feel the touch that used to make me tremble
as the wind sets itself into bed,

This was the section in particular.

As far as the writing. I can't say anything negative about it. Good desription. You carried it off very smoothly. Great piece.

Thumbs up.

[Thomas]

Thanks guys. More feed please.