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Thread: Shades of Grey [IE Contendership Piece]

  1. #1
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Shades of Grey [IE Contendership Piece]

    Shades of Grey
    By: Cry







    "Remembering is one thing for a loss...
    taking action is another."




    There's dirt in my shades of grey...
    ...little specks blotting out events
    so that I can't see what's plain as day.
    when you were here...
    your love made a difference --
    your heart was made of grain...
    injecting life in our family.


    Then you died,
    and it's safe to say...
    there was no more sunlight,
    our source of happiness --
    became a dry, sun-less, desert.
    no shine - just dark...
    no air to breathe,
    we're a family of moon-men...
    looking for water on a baron globe,
    without a bulb... idea deprived
    as to where our next step will be.
    but instead of one small step for us,
    it's only one large step from love,
    - and one microscopic step for mankind.
    because outside this town,
    maybe five phonecalls of a million
    would care you're gone now...
    and maybe, if the price was right,
    they'd come on down...
    they'd be at your memorial,
    in that church...
    mooching the snack-bar
    instead of God, now...
    crying a few tears --
    but not for we who cry the most.
    your family...
    broken without you,
    knowing... the church you were remembered in
    will very likely be the last we enter.
    thinking that since you're gone,
    the previous christmas as a whole --
    as a family --
    was probably our last december.
    no glue... no band-aid could fix this,
    you were the strong hold,
    begging this family to love each other.
    when you left us...
    I got kicked out,
    slapped too -- for what it's worth...
    moved from house to house,
    missing you.
    Aunt and Uncle split,
    both in new relationships...
    even Ashley moved away --
    now seventeen and expectin' a baby!!
    ...if only you were here,
    God, it's making me crazy.
    Jackie was bein' hit by some guy,
    it's like our family's breathing quit,
    because if you were here --
    we both would've ended up there
    - beatin' him.
    but I guess that's life...
    it's been years since it happened,
    and no body's taking action,
    so Grandmother -- Betty...
    it may have left them,
    ...but your heart's never left me.


    There's dirt in my shades of grey...
    ...little specks blotting out events
    so that I can't see what's plain as day.
    when you were here...
    your love made a difference --
    your heart was made of grain...
    injecting life into our family.


    You were the sun, soil, and water...
    and without those to offer
    our family's growth portrays decay,
    now it's up to me...
    I'm the light in the dark,
    the soil beneath the flower,
    and the rain for it to drink.
    first I was sleeping... mourning...
    now I'm awake to save --
    to pick our fallen family up...
    - and erase those shades of grey.







    Miss you Grandma...
    told you I'd write.






    peace.

  2. #2
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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  3. #3
    Soule
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    Re: Shades of Grey [IE contendor piece]

    *Nominates for Legends*



    It may just be me, but I know EXACTLY how strong you feel about your grandmother. And the fact that mine was diagnosed with cancer a few days ago... this piece REALLY hit me hard man. Pounds and pounds of emotion sworn among the whole piece like a beehive. Your wording was really direct and helped center everything real well keeping it understandable and the flow right on track. It was real smooth. The 'house to house' portion just fucking blew me away. Lots of visual imagery in here as well. Loved this piece, my favorite this year. Keep at it.

  4. #4
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Shades of Grey [IE contendor piece]

    ummm, more feed...



    leave links, I'll get back to everything respectively...

  5. #5
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: Shades of Grey [IE contendor piece]

    This piece speaks well for itself and is pointed out nicely with your emotion....though honestly i have seen way better cry...your metaphors and style in this is real great man and is on a level that most can say that you are a great writer but i felt that this piece here was just so fuckin personal that i cant say its your best because it felt as if you were just spilling your heart out and that right there should never be judged....thats why i can say ots your best because it should and shall not be judged dude....honestly cry nice piece and i really loved this read thank you
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  6. #6
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    Re: Shades of Grey [IE contendor piece]

    I'ma upp this right now....I'll hit it up with an in-depth feed later...I need to read it one more time.

  7. #7
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    Re: Shades of Grey [IE contendor piece]

    Okayy...this had a simple beauty to it man....as always I enjoyed your flow man....you come up with the most cool sounding rhyme patterns they make you feel as if you can write that good....lolz...anyways...cool piece and this seemed very heartfelt props to you for that.

    cool to see a piece about family life...you don't see that on rb alot period....
    very innovative shit Cry.

    //outtie//

  8. #8
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Shades of Grey [IE Contendership Piece]

    thanks

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