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Thread: Sails End

  1. #1
    Chemo sick Plexus's Avatar
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    Sails End

    Sails End


    Your life's compacted with contrasted reaction
    An so their actions leaving massive infractions
    Are flacid, For he moves right past there acid
    Its classic, how easily he closes their caskets
    He mask's it, for his identity shall never reveal
    The truth that lies behind coal eyes,
    And lips that are too sealed
    A shield you might ask, but a cloak does he prefer
    Clark you might ask, but fuck supermans his answer


    Ive withstood against the strongest,
    stayin alive to keep it a secret?
    Is it the way I keep it thats the wrongest?
    Should I sign my own impeachment?


    He claims to love his gift, a power invested in him
    But the night he slept, a creature infested his skin
    imbelished within him, the intidy overwhelmed his mind,
    body and soul were now fighting against time
    his inclined crime sought to find in line companions
    but they to abandoned him in fear of his damndest
    He lands brisk just enough time for bear fists
    he bares against it in his own mind, fights the sist


    Get out for this has nothing for use
    least not for you, but me it's abuse

    O leave it alone, ive captivated much better
    Ill turn your body to stone,
    and feed off its endeavour


    The city watched in amazement as he battled himself
    In mid-air he fought, for the city and his health
    But nothing could be done, as they watched him get heavy
    souring towards the ground, and crashing into the levy



    Links:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...er-345913.html
    Last edited by Plexus; August 21st, 2007 at 03:36 PM
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  2. #2
    Chemo sick Plexus's Avatar
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    Re: Sails End

    damn sleeping huh??

    up
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  3. #3
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    Re: Sails End

    Over all this was a good drop...I loved the multi's in the beginning..and then the change of rhyme scheme..in the second...perfect fit...in my eyes...i liked the concept..and take pretty original IMO...what I also like was how you were able to keep the concept flowing never really having filler type lines that just rhyme with no meaning...good drop...and IDK Y...it's getting slep on...

  4. #4
    is in the house Facts Machine's Avatar
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    Re: Sails End

    Wow, pretty deep, i loved the last stanza... it is very metaphorical, but just enough for me to understand it for the most part. I liked the rhymescheme you used in the first part, nice shit. the clark line was cool. It was original and well written, so yeah i def liked this, keep it up.

    oh please rtf on my new open mic:

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...75#post5903975

  5. #5
    Chemo sick Plexus's Avatar
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    Re: Sails End

    appreciat eit...

    up yall sleepin
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  6. #6
    Chemo sick Plexus's Avatar
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    Re: Sails End

    damn yall come on..

    upp
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  7. #7
    Chemo sick Plexus's Avatar
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    Re: Sails End

    goddamn yall sleepin on me lol

    whats UPPPPPPPPP
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  8. #8
    Soule
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    Re: Sails End

    Like Soul said, the last stanza was DOPE. The wording all together was placed and chosen nicely. Imagery was cool and emotion was DEEP. I thought the rhymescheme could have been better but that was the only flaw. Creative, original. Keep writing. Sorry for the short feed but you know how I do my thang lol.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...html?p=5910372

  9. #9
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    Re: Sails End

    Nice Pulse, i liked it i thought it had a very deep emotive point to it.Your imagery was pretty good also man. Your precision was a little off but it can easily be sorted upon, your vocabulary and grammar was nice and you worded your lines pretty well. Overall i have to say i enjoyed this thanks for the read man.

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    Last edited by Messiah.; August 25th, 2007 at 03:57 PM
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  10. #10
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    Re: Sails End

    i appreciate yall feed..ill hit those links in a few
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  11. #11
    Chemo sick Plexus's Avatar
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    Re: Sails End

    damn sleepin pilss maybe?
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  12. #12
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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    Re: Sails End

    You only provided one link.

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