10 - 14 lines
house rules
no dick riders or none of that shit
check ASAP
due in 24 hours
i'll give you a chance to write some "dope" shit
Hanible
Dorian Gray
10 - 14 lines
house rules
no dick riders or none of that shit
check ASAP
due in 24 hours
i'll give you a chance to write some "dope" shit
Cheque...
check <_<
start it foo
yo this dude had no chance but wants to fuck with my life//
blew ur whole shit up an put u on the spot light//
its my show i run this shit like its the apprentince//
ur only there to make me look good an too suck dick//
what the fuck got u all bent out ur panties//
put my shit in ur mom an spread her legs like Mayonnaise//
an the baby shows be like that aint my kid 0_0//
my rhymes are fatle blows hit u hard like mike tyson//
gettin better as my rap gets harder an harder//
be that instigator ill be that fire starter//
but y dont u write back an try to humor me this dude is young //
probley hasnt hit puperty//
last time time u had pussy is in ur mom's womb how the fuck
would i know that u came out like a test tube//
this is ludicris i want a second opion//
i want somone to tell this dude his whole career is finished
============
got till 12 tommrow or thats dq >_>
for the real man
since u said 24
28? u getting along and u too wack for frontlines? fuck you.
now with that been said.. u fucked up boy, you dumb in the head?
funny, if im 22 and im son'in this "dude"....
..wat the fuck has this faggot been fed?
seriously han, who's gassin you up? it's not nice i'll tell them to stop
cause i can't see how u can look at yourself after the garbage you drop
now i could diss your spelling or even that memo you call a verse
annnd..
u drop trash u litterin fuck, but your illiterateness is the worse
ur chance are down like H town an kinda like the boy Hakeem
i'll wake ur ass up with a left jab but you always been living this dream
ur verse's are talked about in hushes, nobody wants to mention the fact
that you can write rhymes.... cause it'll damage hip hop if we call them that
im LBJ & ur the cavs, ur not a man, for the win i use point & precision
cause u'll lose out, run ur mouth & act like a bitch like gilbert after the decision
-12
yo this dude had no chance but wants to fuck with my life//
blew ur whole shit up an put u on the spot light//
eh, nothing but filler here
its my show i run this shit like its the apprentince//
ur only there to make me look good an too suck dick//
weak punch, hardly rhymes
what the fuck got u all bent out ur panties//
put my shit in ur mom an spread her legs like Mayonnaise//
need to be a little more creative here, has potential
an the baby shows be like that aint my kid 0_0//
my rhymes are fatle blows hit u hard like mike tyson//
played out concept, be creative
gettin better as my rap gets harder an harder//
be that instigator ill be that fire starter//
another filler here, diss him for crying out loud
but y dont u write back an try to humor me this dude is young //
probley hasnt hit puperty//
could be worded better, but another sign of potential
last time time u had pussy is in ur mom's womb how the fuck
would i know that u came out like a test tube//
this punch needs a lot of work, take your time
this is ludicris i want a second opion//
i want somone to tell this dude his whole career is finished
weak finisher, start strong, end strong
vs.
now with that been said.. u fucked up boy, you dumb in the head?
funny, if im 22 and im son'in this "dude"....
..wat the fuck has this faggot been fed?
needs to be worded better, has potential
seriously han, who's gassin you up? it's not nice i'll tell them to stop
cause i can't see how u can look at yourself after the garbage you drop
Nice set up, good finish, turned out to be an ok punch
now i could diss your spelling or even that memo you call a verse
annnd..
u drop trash u litterin fuck, but your illiterateness is the worse
stick to your rhyme scheme, could have been better.
ur chance are down like H town an kinda like the boy Hakeem
i'll wake ur ass up with a left jab but you always been living this dream
weak attempt, mostly a filler here
ur verse's are talked about in hushes, nobody wants to mention the fact
that you can write rhymes.... cause it'll damage hip hop if we call them that
nice concept, needs re-worded
im LBJ & ur the cavs, ur not a man, for the win i use point & precision
cause u'll lose out, run ur mouth & act like a bitch like gilbert after the decision
had a stonger finish than he did, but need to step it up more
vote- Dorian Gray due to better punches, more creativity, better flow.
you both got some work to do, but keep trying.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...146/index.html
DayumNation
all fairness at least my shit rhymed but ya ur right we both have lots of work to do >_>but its only one vote need more
to be honest, I didn't really like any of the verses...but here's a detailed opinion
yo this dude had no chance but wants to fuck with my life//
blew ur whole shit up an put u on the spot light//
wha??
its my show i run this shit like its the apprentince//
ur only there to make me look good an too suck dick//
what the fuck got u all bent out ur panties//
put my shit in ur mom an spread her legs like Mayonnaise//
an the baby shows be like that aint my kid 0_0//
my rhymes are fatle blows hit u hard like mike tyson//
does it not rhyme at all or is it just me?
gettin better as my rap gets harder an harder//
be that instigator ill be that fire starter//
weak
but y dont u write back an try to humor me this dude is young //
probley hasnt hit puperty//
last time time u had pussy is in ur mom's womb how the fuck
would i know that u came out like a test tube//
childish
this is ludicris i want a second opion//
i want somone to tell this dude his whole career is finished
weakest punch ever.
VS
now with that been said.. u fucked up boy, you dumb in the head?
funny, if im 22 and im son'in this "dude"....
..wat the fuck has this faggot been fed?
basic
seriously han, who's gassin you up? it's not nice i'll tell them to stop
cause i can't see how u can look at yourself after the garbage you drop
nice
now i could diss your spelling or even that memo you call a verse
annnd..
u drop trash u litterin fuck, but your illiterateness is the worse
almost there..
ur chance are down like H town an kinda like the boy Hakeem
i'll wake ur ass up with a left jab but you always been living this dream
good punch
ur verse's are talked about in hushes, nobody wants to mention the fact
that you can write rhymes.... cause it'll damage hip hop if we call them that
good
im LBJ & ur the cavs, ur not a man, for the win i use point & precision
cause u'll lose out, run ur mouth & act like a bitch like gilbert after the decision
nice ending, but D punch was in the middle
no need to think long...Mr. Gray got this one
nothing at all
seriously han, who's gassin you up? it's not nice i'll tell them to stop
cause i can't see how u can look at yourself after the garbage you drop
m LBJ & ur the cavs, ur not a man, for the win i use point & precision
cause u'll lose out, run ur mouth & act like a bitch like gilbert after the decision
weak battle, but dorian actually made an attempt to diss his opponent. v/dorian grey
So i agree with this guy... Wrk on wording, set ups, and landing an effective punch. Pretty evenly matched, The person who post last always have the advantage... Go in next time.Originally Posted by A.T.
Dorian's punches were better imo. Both of them weren't that great to be honest but I think Dorian's one was better than Hanible's one solely due to the punches Dorian had and Hanible lacked.
V/ Dorian
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...27/index2.html
ty u all for votin an not too worried kickin his ass in cypher anyways
bump.... and stop being a faggot.
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