Full view verse 1

[Half-Eye]

The use of pen and paper keeps track of me then and later
An abolute blueprint of what I think when my mind they encounter
Scientifics could dissect my mind timelessy
Wouldnt get as much out of me
Than an ill beat cause I rhyme easily
See, im from a place where killers dont wait for the sunset
Your entourage is primordial, you lose your tongue for a he said
Me I didnt grow with that lifestyle, mama feared the words your sons dead
Moved to a place where she cant wait for her sons rise and when hes paid
But, materialistic happyness is an illusion by the nation
People fear life without it, its like an unknown destination
Thats why I, wise enough, balls sized and tough im prizin love
Be a prisoner of my passion, how can I not rise above?
Life success should be personal, how can money define it all?
Born to see whos stacks grows the most tall and suicide when it falls?
Money is not detrimental per se
Except when you enjoying time depends on the dough per day

links commin in a minute

[Half-Eye]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...40&postcount=5

2nd commin

[Half-Eye]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...5&postcount=14

[Burt Reynolds]

not really felling this too much my man. maybe you should call yourself full-eye. you will prob become better before your eye.

keep practicing.

I'm going to do a text come read how a pro does it.

*tips hat*

@Burt@

[Lex Have Mercy.]

The use of pen and paper keeps track of me then and later
An abolute blueprint of what I think when my mind they encounter
not feeling the second line
Scientifics could dissect my mind timelessy
Wouldnt get as much out of me
hmm ok concept coulda been better
Than an ill beat cause I rhyme easily
See, im from a place where killers dont wait for the sunset
hmm idk
Your entourage is primordial, you lose your tongue for a he said
Me I didnt grow with that lifestyle, mama feared the words your sons dead
decent i guess
Moved to a place where she cant wait for her sons rise and when hes paid
But, materialistic happyness is an illusion by the nation
overall concepy ok but wording coulda been better
People fear life without it, its like an unknown destination
Thats why I, wise enough, balls sized and tough im prizin love
second line no
Be a prisoner of my passion, how can I not rise above?
Life success should be personal, how can money define it all?
decent
Born to see whos stacks grows the most tall and suicide when it falls?
Money is not detrimental per se
Except when you enjoying time depends on the dough per day
hmm not really feeling it

Overall little decent verse, content was lacking IMO, vocab kinda Meh to me
overall i felt like you could done more . flow was kinda off,and wording in some areas could be better as well , idk decent drop

4/10

keep writing man

[Half-Eye]

^^ehh I hope u didnt read my stuff in that manner because the 2nd bar actually has 3 lines

as far as flow goes, dont worry guys it cuz i write with a specific temps that i also switch up since i always create around a beat.

but thx for all the other feedback, im practicing everyday.

[Fluentt]

you got potential, the delivery is not too efficient. Work on delivery and it will flow better.

5/10