The Eye.

[split...]

The Eye rewinds time, not only in mines but all of our minds
But maybe im losing it, just going insane because of the eye
It stares and does nothing but watch, plot, and then attack
Watch your children and family for as soon as you turn your back
BOOM gone in a flash, the eye takes mass lives for fun
You cant escape it, no use for hiding when theres no were to run
Red beams come out silent but scream in a high-pitched hum can you hear it?
You must be deaf or hard at hearing, but the feelings overwhelm…do I fear it?
Nobody knows, but the doctors say im crazy but maybe im the sane one
In an insane world filled with ghost do things that are unseen, heard and done
Hide inside away from the calamity that’s coming after me
But how can I tell what the eye has already forsaken and seen
I cant and noone can for its impossible to make it possible
Doctors don’t know shit, they say ghost and this eye aren’t even probable
But because of the eye, ghost exist, and rule this world with an iron fist
I have to be insane to believe that though, im not thought so fuck that shit
must preach what Ive been taught, will become true as “what hath thou wraught”
ive wraught life upon the dead, and brought death upon life
maybe im death, the grim-reaper, the maniac with a scythe
maybe im wrong, maybe the eye doesn’t even exist in this world
but on other planets, not too far from earth

*footsteps approach*

Man: ok, time to leave isolation
Me: how long have I been in here?
Man: for only 3 hours now lets go.

So it was just a dream?, what does it mean?
So many questions but little time it seems


*eye reappears in the dark*


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...up-346170.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...up-346308.html

i was bored when i wrote it, so feedback would be appreciated

[split...]

Bump.

[split...]

umm yeh..Bump..

[split...]

Bump..

[Messiah.]

I can honestly say split you have elevated madly and your getting better and better. You still have some to go but i feel you will get there. This piece was nicely worded and it had some good detail and content. Your emotion was pretty good and imagery decent. Your precision wasn't too bad but could have been better and overall an enjoyable read.

-Thomas.

Hit The Little Drummer Boy - Baron Mynd.

[Ntalek]

Nice my dude...

This was overall a good read..your wording is coming along..as well as your vocab..but a few grammatical errors threw me off..nothing much though...I flet you had good imagery and emotion behid this one..along with nice wording..but I think if you chop'd ya lines a bit..and foud the structre to your liking you'd elevate even more...this is only the beginning..but I like how you encorporated the eye..as you did....only the reader would know..nice..and the ending wasn't rushed upon..but..it could've been taken a bit deeper..but as I said in the beginning this was an aiight read..and the elevation is evident..keep writing..

[Junius]

thanks for the feed guys..

bump

[Lil Haze]

yeh bump..

[Alex DeLarge]

You made it a thorough interesting read, I always like the ol' paranoid concept. You do need to work on vocabulary, and make sure that everything spelling-wise it correct. Keep working at it! Try to come more complex with every aspect, and try to be a tad more original with your concepts, then you'll be on your way. I enjoyed it none the less, keep at 'er.

[Lil Haze]

thankz for the advice famz..