Chemical Romance

[Jawn Raw]

Chemical Romance by Para.

Every single first date is a bless; a quest
to advance before their love meets death.
If the friendship isn’t found than the
romance in the relationship isn’t abound.
Especially when she’s messing around,
flirting and playing with her husbands friend.
Leaving the house; sneaking out for sex
until he realizes she’s cheating with his
best buddy Flex. This creates an eruption;
a chemical reaction to immense a blow,
as he loses his mind, finding such destruction.
It’s like a volcano of lust; if it’s ever a must
than the burning flames will never combust.
Cause if love was a lamp it would be an antique,
as sacred as dust; old aged to the point it’s unique.

[Jawn Raw]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ad-377191.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ft-377454.html

[Spoken Deity]

I thought this was kind of funny... If it had a serious vibe in it, i'd hate it but the mood sets this up. pretty basic writing here... Intelligent rhyme scheme no destroying the imagery and structure... It had good 'flow' and was easy to read... Sentence structure wasnt destroyed by the rhyme scheme either.
The best friend Flex line seemed a bit out of place but given the mood of the drop, I can still dig it.
fun, short, read...
-Spoken

[abiona]

hmmm. with the structure and wording of the first couple of lines... i was expecting a much different tone. but yeah... i enjoyed the approach you took. stylewise... usually expect something more serious but i liked the almost lighthearted vibe spin on a serious topic.

length was good. too long and it would have gotten annoying with the rhyme.

[Jawn Raw]

cool uppin

[L.E]

Nice enjoyable little read actually man. I found it entertaining because you gave the overall set of a man being heartbroken a humour to it.

Vocabulary was decent...kind of basic at times. "His buddy Flex" was kind of forced to me honestly, but other than that this was pretty straight man.

Keep it up.

[Possum Aloysius Jenkins]

The rhyming was good in this one. The overall mood of it was constant. It didn't jump from extreme happiness to extreme sadness, which kept it good. This was real basic, but it was still a good read man.

[Alphaeus]

A good piece

The rhyme scheme was on form and vocab was of a decent standard, the piece flowed well and parts where written with a sense of humor

An enjoyable read

[P. Mortuus]

The tone of the piece made it out much better than it technically was. You did sacrifice content at intervals for a sense of flow but it wasn't brash so it fitted in, to an extent, well. Overall, I think it was a good read, nothing complex an easy read that doesn't require much thought. Good work.

[Ace of Aces]

hey thanks for the feed and yea of course i remember you homie.

good staying up, I thought this piece was very structured. The formula, though I must admit appears to be quit simple, does have something unique to it. I'm not sure if its your personal tone but that's a compliment. I enjoyed the topic and the content as well. Keep up the good working my friend.

[Jawn Raw]

thanks, bump.