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Thread: I believe, yet.

  1. #1
    OG Poet, er some shit.
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    I believe, yet.

    I believe, yet.
    Written by, Luke Bloomquist

    I look for outlets to expose my emotions,
    so I guess this pen and pad is my new best friend.
    I speak ample personal truths,
    as I rhyme for these falling raindrops.
    For this cold hard concrete, that taught me,
    to keep my feet in the sky, and my head on the ground.

    Opinions used to fall at my feet;
    words reaping the benefits of heaven-sent beliefs.
    I was told to write what I knew, and what I believed in.
    I believed that I did not believe yet.
    That believing was meant for poets,
    Yet, I was a seed, not readable yet.

    I used to be dope. Used to flow everlasting epitomes
    to elope hope in my torn and shattered note, book.
    I wrote hooks, for hip-hoppers and God’s son.
    And now I walk down street-lamp lit streets.
    Listening to premier beats,
    and rhyming for the stars to listen to.
    I am my audience.
    I nod my head in agreement to what I say,
    What I am, what I feel, what I believe.
    But I believe I do not believe yet.
    That believing is meant for poets,
    Yet, I’m still a seed, not readable yet.

    It’s time to be a poet again.
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




  2. #2
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
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    Re: I believe, yet.

    Damn Luke this piece was incredible, i felt you throughout. Aside from really relating your poetic voice was strong and you captured that emotion really well with your imagery, honestly this was really good man makes me proud to be in Po'Ethics.

    Could you check my piece out?

    Link is in the sig, 1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  3. #3
    better than legendary Neruda II's Avatar
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    Re: I believe, yet.

    Good fuckin' stuff man.

    Loved the first stanza the most. Really good piece, made me smirk once or twice cause it was so dope. I wouldn't change a thing, it's brave and humble at the same time. I agree with Fresh. The structure was fuckin' crazy, the breaks and the rhythm was flawless. Really loved this. Keep at it homie.
    murder murder

  4. #4
    OG Poet, er some shit.
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    Re: I believe, yet.

    Thanks Brian.
    Much appreciated by both of you.

    More critics please?
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




  5. #5
    OG Poet, er some shit.
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    Re: I believe, yet.

    izzup?
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




  6. #6
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: I believe, yet.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=329833
    ^^

    this was a nice way to come back mr.bloomquest. i liked the connection you had with your story aswell as your wording was splendid. the vocab was used nicely to extents which made it speak with metaphors and nice understanding. you had a nice emotion in this and which in mot pieces from poets i LOVE...cus to me emotion and connection with your piece is partially what you have GOT to have which you just dropped on me... i liked it how you made it all round about you coming back to poetry....nice man..good fucking stuff here fam.

    by the way im a new po member.
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  7. #7
    OG Poet, er some shit.
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    Re: I believe, yet.

    Always love for Po'Ethics members, thanks for the feedback bro.
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




  8. #8
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: I believe, yet.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=329830
    yessir^..


    okay, here we go ..




    loved it, it was deep. someone who believes that he is or was a poet before, but always contradicts himself with his own doubt. it was like reading an endless ongoing battle between a poet and himself. he critiqued himself so harshly that it got to him and each time he'd start to believe in himself, in comes the "yet" of the story to quickly capitalize on his own beliefs. it was a great piece, and to be honest i'd nominate it but esco beat me to it. GREAT read, thank you sir. hope you're here to stay.

  9. #9
    OG Poet, er some shit.
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    Re: I believe, yet.

    Thank you very much for the reply. But nominate it for what?...
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




  10. #10
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Re: I believe, yet.

    the wording of th piece struck me the most, every line seemed to be well placed, and basically seemless, I agree with sharp in the sense my personal favorite stanza was the first. It was justa great way to introduce the piece, & set it off to a good start, as always your vocab was on point, you showed your ability to provoke thought from your audience, also the end was very well placed, 'time to be a poet again'... beautiful. and i would hope you keep that promise!

    As for the internals, you made this an urban style poetry, using slang, yet still concerntrating on the poetic touch, which set it aside from an OM... some may say you got repetative, yet i think that was your intention, i think this piece was very well thought out, and plotted very nicely, stay up.
    AI


    “¡Viva la Revolución!”

  11. #11
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: I believe, yet.

    Quote Originally Posted by Luke. View Post
    Thank you very much for the reply. But nominate it for what?...
    HoF lol, now hit my shit up.

  12. #12
    OG Poet, er some shit.
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    Re: I believe, yet.

    i'll try to peep your link. thanks all.
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004




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