Baron Vs Elemental

[P. Mortuus]

Uhm yeah the rules are:

24 lines max and min.

Check whenever but it has to be dropped by today midnight.

Topics are:

What Illusions do
Care for Killer
Kentucky Killer's Knife
Last and the Least.


Not the best topics i know lol..but only ones i can think of right now man. Goodluck.

[Facts Machine]

lol @ Kentucky Killer's Knife.

Check. May the force be with yo' ass............................................... .....

[Facts Machine]

What Illusions do: Yuck

The city's vagina is alive!
It will swallow your whole head and you'll suffocate inside.
I'm a grown man & you can't make a grown man cry.
Nope, you can't... That's right, boy!
You can't make a grown man cry... Tears of joy.

I'm a veteran at being unexperienced in life.
The wheels on the rush go round and round; I'm steering it tonight.
Clearly it's a fight... against the class system, i'm desperate
To find a job i can mess with cause checks lift.
My next shift was like a virgin turnin' into a servant of orgasms.
I asked the employer of the month "can you stop jerkin' the floor, madam?"
I was unaware that i was the only one shaking.
Phony funds raising the shivers that my lonely tongue's making.
I ran away and questioned this saddened day's expections
I want to exit this repetitive negative sensitive way of lessons

But...
The city's a desert with steaming sand
Surrounding the fiends and fans that believe in man.
I'm trying to be the best spotter, the skies gone bright
And corporations are like fresh water... disguised on sight.
I run to it, I crawl to it and drink as I crouch in demand
I have thousands of glands that agree this outcome is bland,
But why the hell do I have a mouthful of sand?

pfft pfft *spits out sand* "eww yuck"

I've come to the conclusion that what illusions do
Is show you the truth in the rich man's secluded feuds.

[P. Mortuus]

Kentucky Killers Knife

Serial Killer At Large!

Down in the black burrows, with black eyebrows furrowed
sweat pouring down black bodies bloodied- tabloid borrowed
their grief to illustrate in a column so brief- the reason was see
according to them black on black crime was legendary
For me, as the case detective- this angle was unbelievable
reeling at sights of gutted bodies- but details are unrepeatable
down in Kentucky- the slow time moved slower- but alas
someone had to sensationalize K-Town, it rains at last
And there goes our evidence- scene of crime showered down
Maybe it was another absolution the priest had anointed now
Of course the extra bucks help his personal life, lil bit of change
allows him to fund for his fetishes- a prostitute probably arranged
A Suspect- maybe selling God’s forgiveness wasn’t enough
So he arranged to raid the black folk down in the ghetto troughs
The Kentucky Killer and his Kenyan knife- clearly pre-planned
The killer was trying to pin the death of 1 on another black man
Back to the picture- it could be the local sheriff- maybe so
frustrated with the easy life he went ahead to make crimes alone
Could he have killed a few innocents- law abiding- ideal fools
Then reported the deaths to the news to earn attention to
Then it hit me..it isn’t the sheriff or the priest- it’s simple
it was evidently that old lady their- yeah the 1 with the pimple
under her dimple- yeah the one supporting the blue cross flag
Headlines abbreviated to KKK- the hate fad produced that old hag

[Facts Machine]

Alright, leave links & vote, peeps............................................. .................................................. .................................................. .

[P. Mortuus]

Alright, leave links & vote, peeps............................................. .................................................. .................................................. .

Yup.

[P. Mortuus]

Bump
.

[Messiah.]

Hmm, good battle, this is how i saw it.

Baron-same old baron your verse was dope your detail was very nice. Your rhymescheme was solid and your fluidity was good also. Your word usage was good also and the emotion was very nice, another key thing in this piece was that your imagery was strong as hell lol. Overall good verse.
Soul'-Your verse was good also, however, i felt your verse was very bland maybe its because you haven't wrote in a while or something. Your rhymescheme was simple and your line length was all over which didnt help the fluidity of it. Your emotion was ok and the imagery was alright. Overall decent verse just more needed and detail to help bring the piece together better.

Vote/Baron-Overall his verse was better because soul' lacked in detail and creativity.

[Joseph Grey]

up again... (this is soul)............................................. .................................................. ......

[P. Mortuus]

Bump up and down and then up again .

[P. Mortuus]

Leave Linkages .

[Laureate]

Elemental, I really really didn't like the beginning of your piece, it was boring and I didnt know where you were ging with it, but I really liked the second stanza and the metaphors and imagery you used, however I was dissapointed with the ending

Baron, thoght your piece was solid all the way through, nice internals, good story, I got strong images from reading your drop and you were just more consistent in your words

vote- Baron

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...vs-338474.html

[P. Mortuus]

thanks links checked .

[P. Mortuus]

i think this is another uppity up^ up ^

[Facts Machine]

wow i re-read my piece and i don't know what i was trying to do, but i really messed up in the intro, the whole intro should have been cut out, oh well, i still want more votes.