Loss For Words

[L.I.]

Loss For Words
Words deceased, as i plead for sound to succeed...
Nothing released, not an ounce of perfection free'd...
Lips quiver with thought, but nothin inspiring is taught...
As my mind fought, it arises with a feelin of distraught...
Anger keeps elevating to new heights, putting up a fight...
Functions are tight, as i struggle to even write tonight...
As hard as i try, i struggle to stir things, yet i know ideas are lurking...
Brains jerking, cant think right cause only the left sides working...
Tip of the tongue feeling, anger level is to the ceiling...
On the edge to stealing, but biting doesnt do healing...
Trying for that real shit, but my mind is completely oblivious...
I feel it, have the concepts aroused but just keep missing it...
Need to sustain my reign, and put all the doubters to shame...
Have the brain be drained, and a clean slate contained...
Deadline is approaching, do i need coaching?...
Upset feeling as each tic leaves thoughts poaching...
I sit and clear my mind, inside myself i search for a line...
As my teeth grind, my intellect is locked up and confined...
Vision of the win's acute, becoming desperate in pursuit...
All senses get the boot, all i feel is deaf, blind, and mute...
Only thing inevitable is failure, hopes crashed as the trails blurred...
Success deterred, Everything is off accuracy as if the scales stirred...
The results leave me in shock, my confidence was knocked...
Loss has been been locked, as an outcome of writers block...

L.I.

[L.I.]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1556829
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=138040

[DaTrusHurtz]

L.I. first off I like your use of vocabulary as your piece was filled with lots of multis

"Tip of the tongue feeling, anger level is to the ceiling...
On the edge to stealing, but biting doesnt do healing..."

This piece had some good imagery and that was my favorite part. There were a few lines where I felt rhymes seemed a bit forced, but in all it had a very nice flow. The topic isn't the most original, but that's ok cause you made it come to life. It's lack of originality makes it something special, but this is a nice piece.

If you could hit up the battle in my sig i'd appreciate it

[L.I.]

thanks...up

[Hit_Man]

started off slow, but u picked it up so not bad
i dun think ive eva seen anybody write about writers block haha, nice multies, vocab, good all around

keep droppin that shit
peace

[STAT$]

It was a koo drop.........keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=137849
return the favor vote on my battle thanx!!!!!!

[Blood Drenched Tampon]

Wack ass responses from the last two. This had good imagery with great choice of words. I liked how you described your writers block by taking a different approach instead of just writing you know.."writers block" and going the usual route like people and myself usually pursue. I think your OM picked up in the middle when it seemed you got more into it and it became a lot of emotional and the words seemed a lot more powerful. Good piece.

[Hit_Man]

you jus said almost exactly what i said, the only difference is u put a lot more words into it..... n keep ya mouf shut when aint shit got to do wit u

1

[Bounce]

Ok this was rather quic read, the technical attributes allowed this to move off the tounge very rapidly, good. I liked the read, it was fun, nothing too spectacualr but very good indeed. It was kind of loaded when it came to ryhme, sometimes this works sometimes titdoesn't, depends on the reader. One thing I would like to touch on is the structure. I think this really distacted from the overall vibe of the drop. I think you should have matched the lines better, tried to count the syllables and keep them about equal. The line were ust a little mismatched, not huge, but I think this would have been better with an adjustment. Keep dropping..

Bounce..

[The Under Study]

i was feelin this man. Good complexity and good word choice. I think ya vocabulary was pretty good, and ya verse was full of multis. It created a good image throughout as it got more and more into it. I was definitely feelin this.

[Escar]

Not bad. I really liked it man. Vocab. in there was dope, I thought it'd be kinda elimentary at first, but nah lol. Liked the way you wrote it, your approach to the topic was good. Good imagery in there too. Hmm, so overall, this was a good read, nice piece bro. Keep it up holmes.

Pz

[K cypha]

great! wonderful rhyme scheme, and vocab!!!! definately a keeper

[L.I.]

thanks for the great feedback......uppin for more!

[Chemarim]

nice flow and vocabulary in this peice
good read, i thought maybe you wern't gonna be very good with syllable matching but you proved me wrong in some places because it didnt' hurt your structure

hope to see more liek this from you . maybe better

[Endeva.]

slightly choppy flow, from awkward syllables in places, but other than that, some good content and well written.... not the most original concept, but it kept the interest going thru it....