"As shown on TV- The end"

Season One: Harsh words, bring harsh realities

I cracked a smile, with a hammering
heart beat; jumping at the chance to
sleep on the edge of reason, whilst
bands of drummers beat me to a pulse;
or is that pulp? either way, my rendition
of apology, is merely staged, with thick
gravy like tears as a forged makeup to
make up with you; hesitant at first,
yet i think once these downers kick in
i'll be able to up the stakes, and smash
your frown back into a skin deep trance
I'll hang your jacket next to mine, as i did
with hers; but you know i love you more...
Right?

Play me a fool, charades is my favorite
truth, we'll pretend you are not flawed
and I? am a good husband! this wedding
ring represents a circle of lies, coming
back around to nibble at our finger tips;
You want half of the house, as a gift
of reparation, yet, i can't help but wonder,
IF a favor is payed, is that a favor....
or a trade?

Glass greets walls, plates meant for
foreheads; Our asthmatic words leave
us choked on our own breath, slipping
through our pursed lips, like accidental
waterfalls, falling towards little conclusion

Season Two: Make up, don't break up

Lets unblock our windpipes, drain the
sticky tar like hatred we seem to cling
onto so naturally; remember when we
held each other like regards, begging
for another bullet to hit the hour glass?
the noose would hang from dormant
corners of an echo, being wrapped
around THEIR throats, not ours;
Cast your mind back to the time we'd
fish in pools of hearts, just to catch
a glimpse of how empty it was without
each other; yet i guess we as people
cry for something so much, that when
we receive it, the product is far too wet
for use; so come and hold me again...
please?

Slowly, then suddenly i feel your heart
melt in a new lease of sparks you seem
to be so taken with; your lip formation
has changed, slightly risen, with non
violent teeth piercing through shadowed
gums; you look good in this light,
it's almost a symbol of how we have been
taken from the darkness we once knew

Season Three: Matters of the heart

Dancing together, like fresh rose petals
brushing off the water marks staining
their backs, an over excitement hits the
atmosphere, a pain so vivid that dogs
hear the screams in the correct pitch,
deserting my vertical stance, i find
homage on the horizontal floor tiles,
a heart attack on the best day of my
life?

my eye lids shut down, like computer
screens during brain freezes; yet still,
a smile of reconciliation rests with my
body; A grip of your hands, should let
you know, you have always held my
heart from my sleeves; and although
no longer can we sleep in the same
bed, from the dirt filled home known
as a grave, when you are standing
in that place, you will be by my side
I love you. forever.

-Poeta

I've pretty much poured my heart and soul into this one, I've never been so careful of my word choice or of how I'm writing the piece. It's actually a true story, of a few family friends, so i figured it would make a nice topic, plus it's something (apart from the ending lol) we can all relate to as people, we see it everyday, marriage failing, yet i don't really see anyone portraying it in the way it actually is with an abusive relationship. so this to me, is the reason i write... in order to tell real stories, not to break out into a rant of made up events. Poetry was always used as a form of 'leaving you mark' of your experiences, feeling, therefor, we all need to write for that purpose, aswell as to entertain and bring something new to the spectrum. I know this is a long piece, but i really would appreciate the read and feed. much love

-Poeta

Gorgeous imgery.
Well you always have a unique and vivid way of writing a poem.
and in this particular piece I'm reminded of the mandala, the beauty of the colors combined with the circular motion, seducing the mind
to go deep, to remember, things we hold in our hearts
and on the tips of our tongues.
this really was an excellent piece i may nominate for hof,
at least in my op in

Thanks man.

Uppidy.

Alright bro this wa so real good shit. you really stay dropping deep stuff. your style in my opinio is so unique in a kind of way that can keep the reader entranced fro a long time. this peice was a real thrill for me to read. the emotion was really on point and you described your shit very well the imgaery was plain awesome too. you have some real talent in your verse too. The title didnt really catch me cos to be honest it does sound a little boring. this proved me wrong becuase the way i thought you would write and describe the PS work was not how i would see you do it. you kinda switched up a lil bit i can tell but no worry it was still a great peice.

Cool cool man, upping.

Word. Even tho it didn`t rhyme, it read smooth. I liked how you broke it down into 3 parts to represent like the different stages of the relationship they were goin` through. Like each part had a different feel to it. But all tied in together. The 3rd part kinda put me out tho. Seemed like it went backward from the rest. Kinda like a flash back of their marraige. The dancin` bit/best day of his life reference. I had to re-read that part. And I`m prolly still wrong about it. But that`s what I got from it lol. This was solid tho. I still think you need to work on rhymin` pieces. Cuz you got ur knack for words down. And rhymin` can only add more interest to it, nah mean. Keep doin` ur thing.

ooo ill be readin this today...

ill edit with feed.

Jesus Christ Poeta this was just WOW!!! Probably the best piece I've read from you; hell its probably one of the best pomes I've read on this site...Period! I mean its rare that you find someone gifted enough to flow without actually rhyming...lol that's how smooth and transitional this piece was. What really drew me in though...was the tone of this piece, given the nature of the topic I was expecting something sad and sappy, but you completely flipped the script with apathy (though emotional) and sarcasm.....which I absolutely LOVED!!!! This poem had non-stop brilliance, excellence, it was immaculately conceived....written in holy water and sacred ink!

Favorite lines:

Quote:

---

bands of drummers beat me to a pulse;
or is that pulp? either way, my rendition
of apology, is merely staged, with thick
gravy like tears as a forged makeup to
make up with you; hesitant at first,
yet i think once these downers kick in
i'll be able to up the stakes, and smash
your frown back into a skin deep trance

---

^DAMN!!! JUST DAMN!!! Talk about content....Filler? Non-existence. Just pefect!

Also:

Quote:

---

You want half of the house, as a gift
of reparation, yet, i can't help but wonder,
IF a favor is payed, is that a favor....
or a trade?

---

^"Holla we want prenupt" LoL I don't know...I guess its a trade, but I'm glad you said it. Just insightful and witty!

Keep Going:

Quote:

---

the noose would hang from dormant
corners of an echo, being wrapped
around THEIR throats, not ours;
Cast your mind back to the time we'd
fish in pools of hearts, just to catch
a glimpse of how empty it was without
each other; yet i guess we as people
cry for something so much, that when
we receive it, the product is far too wet
for use; so come and hold me again...
please?

---

^Ingenious

Why stop:

Quote:

---

a pain so vivid that dogs
hear the screams in the correct pitch

---

^I liked that a lot

Finally:

Quote:

---

my eye lids shut down, like computer
screens during brain freezes; yet still,
a smile of reconciliation rests with my
body; A grip of your hands, should let
you know, you have always held my
heart from my sleeves; and although
no longer can we sleep in the same
bed, from the dirt filled home known
as a grave, when you are standing
in that place, you will be by my side
I love you. forever.

---

*Shakes head in disbelieve*....Just wonder what galaxy that came form, cause that's planetary dope!

Look man sorry about the limited amount of feed..but when you have something this good - words become overrated...and admiration sets it!

Great FUCKIN job!

pZ

Upping.

Well, dude...

I appreciate the PM. It's nice to read good work...
And the topic is timely...wife and I just had a terrible fight this past weekend, so...I easily relate to the first section.

Yeah...that's what fights are like...that's what making up is like...during the fight, she's a fuckin bitch you wouldn't stick your dick in to save her life.
An ugly creature so filled with hate and rage and betrayal...cuz...how could they turn on someone so bad ass as myself? Someone who lives to please her...someone who thinks of her ALWAYS before thinking of yourself.
How the fuck can they not see what they truly have...and if they can see it...and still choose to be so vile in fights...

How can you really be sure if they love you?

Well...that's where your second stanza come in...
Once shit calms down...once they touch you again in that affectionate, needing manner...
You fuckin melt. They transform back into the precious, fragile thing you once loved.

Fuckin amazing how women can do that...go from one extreme to the next...

Didn't really dig the heart attack ending...you're way too fucking young to have heart problems so I kinda thought that was awkwardly thrown in. If you'd died in a car accident, shot by a stray bullet, been on that plane in Brazil...whatever...
It'd have read more like your work and less like mine...even my 37 year old ass isn't concerned about heart attacks yet. You certainly shouldn't be.

Delivery was very tight...no rhymes, but this was laid down very Def Poetry like...alot of emotion, a fast read...slightly frenetic/desperate.

Tight shit, man...I really liked it.

Peace

Thanks alot bro, appreciated. upping