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This is a trial period. So if you all like this cypher than make sure and post and make it active!
1.NO freeposting!
2.take the situation appointed by previous poster, and make it 6lines of straight humorous, funny, LULZ shit.
3. Restating: no less than 6 lines, and no max.
4.Dont post back to back
Have FuN..........
First Situation: Aliens invade your work with water pistols
chillin at my station flickin boogers at cancer patients,
A janitor mocked by the Doctors worse then my paychecks,
glance outside it seems some green men have stopped in,
that cant be where's reality,vicodin hah i just copped ten,
must be it, shake it off,didnt work, that one looks like Grover,
everyone screaming in panic, but their guns read super soaker...
& spraying the nurses,then all the girls with white shirts,
this turned into wet Tee party with every pump & burst,
one is laughin & that ones humpin skirts like a horny retriever,
a lady tries to run past me but I catch her like a wide receiver,
say "where you going? this is great we should be makin friends.."
throw her to the ground amidst water sprays & low five the aliens,
when it comes to awesome events this is the model group
start to dance like michael jackson & the little guys follow suit,
this is the thriller titty spiller new cd next fall & the kicker?
get beamed to their ship smoke a blunt then blame it on the liquor
new situation- your girl just farted in fron of you for the first time
Eatin' dinner with this chick i met 3 days ago..//
Made 'er my girl n picked her ass up like a repo//
Makin' 'er laugh, caressing her thighs, diggin' the smile//
After all, this the first bitch that showed me attention in a while//
It doesn't matter, i can honestly say my thirst is quenched//
As i take a bite, my nostrils flair, there must be a stench//
I thought it was rude, she acted like she lifted from the bench!//
This bitch just farted 'round my food, and it hovers something heavy//
She smiles and looks down, as i pass out from a Silent But Deadly//
Got caught stealin' a sex toy LMMFAO
got an idea... ill see what i can work in my coat,
need to get my jerk on since im perverted & broke,
first get twerked off of my smoke,time for a Meth trip,
on the street, hit up a purple glass shop called the Head Grip,
time to act cool & calm but im tweaked with sweaty palms,
i notice a handheld pussy named the "Wet as Mom's"
skip that one ... what would my dog think? I see a better choice,
so i snatch a nasty snatch entitled blast the best hole moist,
slip the pocket pussy in my pocket, ironic aint it?
a completely lifelike replica except where the taint is,
disappointed as i am its worse cause the cops are here I HATE THIS,
i look down & realised im so fucking blitzed that im naked...
Situation- Waking up next to the ugliest girl you ever had sex with
Spent a night out-on-the-town enjoyin the clubs, and the lomousine//
Rides galoure, chicks aboard with the brightest dude-like-listerine//
I'm fresh i know it the girls lovin' it, makin the scene drop like apple-bottomed-screens//
A pimp at best money out my chest as if breathing made me riches//
Took both the grandest hotel, paid for the Holiday Suite for both of these bitches//
Enjoyed the night, not gonna bother you with the details-in-air//
Cuz when i woke up, retail was just one obese whale look-a-like-of Cher//
Broke as fuck in my two-day-echo-clothes//
Wrecked the rent-a-car and the protable dvd-shows//
Skank ass breath, gassy at best, and this bitch rolled over to show her facial feats.//
"Hey baby" 's what she said, i screamed as i seen-a-Freddy pop out of sheets!//
Opening a "show" (anything) for someone no one likes.... lol
The curtain rolls open and i start the night
Layin down verses while the crowd moshes and fights
Sing a couple songs before i introduce the main which i dont know
White kids and asians fill the front rows
I finish my song and read my note card cause i gots no clue
"Now present Weird al yankovich" WHAT THE FUCK i opened for this dude.
Boo'd off stage he comes to the back stage
Gets cocky with me and woops my ass with rage.
Shoves his foot up my ass without the lube
Now im the one embarassed cause its on youtube.
You run into your idol celebrity and your talkin to him/her and you sneeze in their face haha.
Arnold such a strong nigga, a muscle known of a little choice//
"come with me if you want to live" almost made me gay in my own little voice//
I couldn't help but ask what its like being the govener of california//
He rattled on as a sun beam breeched the ridge, it rapped-the-courtyard//
Flew from his chest and bounced off his fuckin' teeth//
Beamed me in my eye, something i couldn't stop, i had to sneeze//
one two with a watchoo, oh man i'm glad its over//
I pick up my head to stare him in the face, theres a booger on his shoulder//
the man couldn't see, i blew snot in is track of sight, he ran me over//
The first time i met a celeberty, n the mother fucker split like a folder!//
Eatin' a bowl of cereal not knowin' the milk was bad until your done wit it.
I wake the fuck up to take my mornin piss
Thoughts of captain crunch turned my mood into a bliss
Ran to the kitchen but no clean bowls
I smelled out the cleanest one,but theres a tad bit of mold
oh well i over flow the bowl of peanut butter crunch
just enough milk to passs me to lunch time
Scarf the whole bowl with a weird after taste. no its not lime
ithe thought make me double over and hurl cottage cheese and such
i didnt have a clue till the last bite like a dog without a scent
Bad milk hurts my stomach even worse, i forgot im lactose intolerant.
You wake up in your pastors bathroom from a party and theyre right out the door with no clue your there and your hiding in the shower and he takes a huge shit. ugh
Partied hardy like i haven't before//
Drank 'till my shoes took me off the floor//
I couldn't imagine how it hit me so quick//
I followed all percausions and shit//
Drank litley, instructions accumlated ten past four//
Face to fuckin' concrete, which hurt more?//
Wake up in a daze to hear some talkin'//
Jump in a rush, dash for the door, it was a closet//
Swung it shut just intime to see the pastor run to the toilet//
Gushing and gooin', ooopin' and ooowwin'//
Kinda felt bad for the guy, but i was trapped in a 3 by four..... whos frownin?//
Oh god let this guy finish, its lasted for up to ten minutes!//
Make it hastey god, oh make it quick, this motherfucker must have seriously ate some shit//
Cant get into the club cuz of heigth requirments. (ure too short) lol
thinkin bout pussy might be shady mac but where the ladies at
put on my new polo & navy slacks they were on sale at baby gap
get on my stool look in the mirror hair look like a bowl bean dip
go to grab my toothbrush & get heated cuz i just cant reach it..
in a good mood so that wont phase me, im confident & stylin
can still get laid even when you resemble Tatu from fantasy island
jump out the cab,twist my ankle recover & yell where the weed at
hop the curb, get to the club & all im staring at are a pair of kneecaps
say"move aside Im a Boss" he booms above me "fat midget.. get lost "
reply "fuck you Dwight Howard.. how's that gonna get my salad tossed?"
"need a few digits I know they would call" I was in the wizard of Oz ya'll
he could care less.. I could take him.. or simply get punted like a football,
go ahead.. get your 7 laughs bitches.. besides Ive brought sound supplies
Im not losing when I'll be using my Uzi & cut these tall trees down to size
situation Walkin in on your roomate in an orgy & get asked to join
Just got married and i can't believe this i'll face it//
I asked the chick to stop at my apartment before we get butt naked//
Shady lookin' smile ablast, got to get her present, how fast i spent three pay-checks//
A necklace she'll remember and a night she'll forget, at-last//
Four viagra with my name on em, and her two say "Zan-ax"//
Makin' the turn, pull to the gate n hit the buttons to open this trap//
Jiggle the keys, understanding the night ahead//
Dressed like a pimp, i need my Poison in red//
Step outta the car, "Give me four minutes, i gotta more money"//
She smiled with that sexy grin, "I'm missing you already honey"//
Jet up the stairs n checked my pockets to feel a massive erection//
I haven't taken anything yet, but i'm spot on like a target detection//
Keys in the door, thats funny i can already smell the sex in meak//
Open the door to see atleast seven or eight, maybe ten total butt cheecks//
A head pops outta the mass of bodies, a sexy ass blonde, nice big tits//
"Do you wanna.." I cut er off, no apologies with a "HELL YEAH, I JUST GOT MARRIED BUT FUCK THAT BITCH"//
Goin' through porn on the net to see your mom on MILF HUNTERS hahaha lol
Grab the lotion and some toilet tissue
Gonna get my wank on shouldnt be an issue
Drop my drawers and plop onto the seat
Watch a couple vids and i start to beat
Click on milf link and thats when it goes wrong
Til i scroll down and see my moms suckin dong.
Oh shit she a fuckin whore?
Suckin on dick stiffer than a board
My masterbation life is over just because my mom, she used to be sweet
when i get hard she appears in my vision and ii see her tweet
You wake up to your dog licken your dick
got way to drunk, then crunk off skunk at my last venue
so i missed out on the tail left, with bone down to core like sinew
so i pass out crashed out after the mcdonalds value menu,
thinkin bout 200 lb fat bouncy bitches cuz thats what im into,
lifelike dreams they knob slobbin so hard im sayin"cock ill defend you"
reality hits at home with pooch its nasty but i just let her continue
final thoughts though on P.E.T.A i meant to offend you,
cause we all know you'd do the same & a tissue I'd lend you
clean yourself up vegans....
new situation: you got two women pregnant at the same time.
your girlfriend & your neighbors daughter.Who already hates you.
And they both show up with the pregnancy tests one after the other.
lots of material there =p
title: You're Both Positive, So Don't Be Emotionally Negative
new neighbors in nextdoor and the daughter seems legal
her immigration status... may actually be, i think, illegal
she came to my room but never left... she came again (came as in cum that last time)
i pretend to be the kinda guy she wants... bt aint him
she wants a geek - im kinda sleek so i just brush her off
girlfriend still found 1 hair... enough ta touch her off
use excuses and let the adrenalin settle in n then when
she be at that perfect state of anger n close to givin in
i use the classic hair-behind-the-ear n 'your the one for me'
when we smashed she caught somethin other than H i V
n i knew what it was, every morin her face was all green
first bitch came back n after that i wanted her to leave
she had somethin i definantly didnt want my girl to see
be, cuz i knew she'd want me up on a lower case t
we, gotta talk i told the both of em, hope they cope
well... i said, i told each of u 2 i just wanted ya throat
ya both possitive so don't be emotionally negative
i think the best we could all do is take the test again
next topic: if your rap career blew up from rapbattles
If my rap career blew up from rap-battles
i would forever be clear from internet shackles
where my punchlines hit like football tackles
or fat ass nuns with a ruler they attack you
id publish a text free, to the next mcee
who dare tests me, ill fly out the internet with kicks like im jet lee
till hes gone faster than a jet ski
ill make your wifey wish she never met me
cause she texts me, she wants some wet meat
ill tell her bitch you just met me
and your pussy is the size of a super stretch jeep
i would never fuck a bitch i met off a text beef
her lyrics are sexy, but her face is crumpled like a pepsi
body so crunched, she the spokeswoman for nesly
id spit flow that are sinister, just so they can soak in like vinegar
id finish every track with, im the new administer
when times get crazy ill go see the minister
hed say battle seneca, and make sure you finish her
for tryna look at me like imlunch, ill gift the whole world a time punch
cyclops, seismic toss, until i hear a spine crunch
mc's wouldnt stay around this, id put a beef to jay z on sound click
and do a sound flick, with exxon and blog that our sounds clicked
nt:You found out that your newborn son, is now selling crack out of his stroller at random times, while your not looking
Gay topic...
2 days old already taking after his Dad
Selling crack right out my own pad
The kids making more doe than me
Probably got more hoes than me...
This kids the best shoulda thought of this years ago
Should we leave his momma with tears ta show?
New topic When fat chicks attack
Make em Laugh, Well I got Jokes, Watch there Belly's Ache
Wouldn't Lick a Fat Woman's Cat even it came with Halle Berry's Face!!!!!
EWWWWWWWWWWW....nah i'm playing....I do that For my Lady
But my Baby Been Away, So Ink been watching Porno Lately:(
And you Know that I Gone Crazy, So i'm locked in a Padded Room
This shit was Supposed to be Funny not Real....Either Way...
..............................................THER E ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!!!!
next topic....
beat the hell out of kanye west...at the grammys...
Next batter up Vital is the contendor prepare for splendor.
Fixing kaynes dental for free with a bat and change his gender.
Returning him to male state i mean look at his face.
Its a disgrace to see it in place so i fixed it right away.
Knocking out his teeth and breaking his nose what a display.
Then michael jackson runs up and moonwalks to the bass.
Next Topic...
When LG's attack.
Cruizin' ridin' top, i had to stop on the block-buster//
Got out to open the front door, phone went off-flustered//
Ignorin' the call, checkin' for a flick, my minds steady in horror//
Freddy, Jason? Shit, i really don't want to be bored//
My phone growls n gives a demonic shake-in-my-pocket//
I thought it was my dick talkin to me until something shot out rocket//
I made it a quest to simply stop shakin//
My phone grew legs n feet, arms n teeth, this was horror in the makin'//
The screens fell from the wall, devouring people, shoes n all//
I kicked n chunked the dvds at him the best i could, worst overall//
This TV screen picked me up n swallowed me whole, this couldn't BE//
But after he was done, oh how he took a shoe lace, and gently flossed his teeth//
Goin' to the Hugest Outet store (WALMART - KMART - ALCO - so on so forth) and gettin' like 1800 dollars worth of shit n you can't pay for it...
im always one to talk shit and the ladies love riding me
made one girl faint from fear of the size of me
my penis is a behemoth found only in women's dreams
neighbors call the police when i make hot women scream
female satisfaction is easily my greatest passion
dicks big as jackson...hey why the fuck is everybody laughin?
why should i look down? cut the shit! is this a trick?
FUCKEN BITCH! couldn't you say they were unzipped
note to self: lied about size and no one seems to care
next time i should probably have on underwear
Got a small dick a small....small....dick
Gotta use tweezers to grab that bitch-n-take a piss
Got a small dick....a bitch sees it-n-stalls quick!
It hides behind my balls quick....awwe shit!
This is not very active.......if you want to drop a funny, humorous verse take it to the freestyle cypher. Just add the topic at the top of your verse/ But dont leave a topic as its not a topical cypher!