Help on the verse

I guess i jus wanna know what i need to work on and stuff.

Who you tryin to kid? Your bars be hella wack,
The only good bars you got, is the fuckin chocolate snack,
When u talk to me, u better address me as sir,
Cause your learning from me and I'm your professor,
Dudes scared when they battle me, punches are so smart,
I’ll win if I don’t try and give you a head start,
Man don't you know? They call me Lethal Jay for a reason,
Rhymes are lethal, the name is Jay, and i tear emcees up like hunting season,
I'm Mike Vick on the flow cause dog i'll kill your game,
Take aim, dig a hole, and then bury your name.

Who you tryin to kid? Your bars be hella wack,
The only good bars you got, is the fuckin chocolate snack,

this was basic try to be more creative an have better wording

When u talk to me, u better address me as sir,
Cause your learning from me and I'm your professor,

This wasnt a punch more of a statement set up was weak

Dudes scared when they battle me, punches are so smart,
I’ll win if I don’t try and give you a head start,

Here wording killed your punch, made your first line weak causeing a fail in your punch

Man don't you know? They call me Lethal Jay for a reason,
Rhymes are lethal, the name is Jay, and i tear emcees up like hunting season,

This wasnt a punch, it was self-glory a big no-no in text, also weak

I'm Mike Vick on the flow cause dog i'll kill your game,
Take aim, dig a hole, and then bury your name.

in text its important to have a strong ending this was weak thoe.

• when you do text remember the openening bar an closing bar is important *also being constaint through out your verse.
  *get personal
  *get an be more creative
  *have strong set-up's for your punches
  *wording is important also
  *Read battles from vets to get the general idea of what you got to know
  *practice on weaker opponents to get the grasp of what you learned

Thanks Sirius