Portrait Soul ft. Kaotic. Thoery

Portrait Soul

An emotional argument
a child at war
who has fallen harder then
ever before.

A lonely soul
who's heart is torn
growing up cold
while left to mourn.

As sad as it sounds
the youth is fading
deamons releasing rounds
while siblings were playing.

At the end of the day
another family grieved
horrified of the way
the generation sees or believe.

Blue

Inquiry of Sorrow ,
bestowed upon me.
Incapable of happiness,
Always seem lonely.

Red
Filled with fury,
anger overcomes thee.
Becoming very Unstable,
Mentally and Emotionally.

Gray

Insecure and certifiable,
demons lurk inside.
Voices preaching evil,
Tainted to obide.

Gold

Living in infamy,
defeat all fears.
Know no agony,
shed joy's tears.

A Written Voices Collaberation.

Italics = Kaotic. Theory
Normal Font = ~WhiteOut~

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=256309
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=257458

upping this for some feed back

Bumpin this motha fucka

damn this tight-u had imagery,vocab there's really nuttin i could say-only that it could be longer anywayz -hott-

lets up this for heavens sakes....

some good barz there nice flow and the story of it was good awell
like the way it was set out easy on the eye 1 of the best I've read tonight
tha so good on ye both lol peace

this piece was good............
the thing i favored the most in this piece was the concept. it was real clear, very understandable. the structure was str8,very good imagry, and the vocab was nice as well........8/10
fams can you drop some feed in my PS, called Conceptz of image in my sig

Word^

ayo upping this colabo!

upping this for better feed.

Nice piece here fam...

KT- its good that yours went first because it wouldnt have fit right if whites went first... alright your first stanza started off good... than your second stanza starts to pick up with the imagery and the third really shows the emotion... your last stanza was alright but not as good as your middle ones... but all round nice piece...

White-I take it that blue is supposed to be depressed and stuck in the state of sarrow and selfdwelling
Red is for anger and unstability... gray i feel is supposed to be showing all of the problems(demons that it has been trying to hide... and gold is supposed to have concored all of them and overcome everything... this wasnt that bad of a collab i really enjoyed it... nice imagery and everything...


If you could can you hit up the piece in my sig... its being slept on

Ok gentlemen lol... it wasn't so shabby, first and foremost give yourself a pat on the back... now that I'm done b/s'n heres my two cents lol


K- I like your style you had good imagery in this one and it tells a story, short but sweet.

Quote:

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As sad as it sounds
the youth is fading
deamons releasing rounds
while siblings were playing

---

^^ my favorite part of your verse, it just seems to explain alot more than the words detail...

W- I like the way you showed your verse, with the different colors to express the different emotions, you also had good imagery and all that pretty stuff. But most of all the point was made.

Quote:

---

Insecure and certifiable,
demons lurk inside.
Voices preaching evil,
Tainted to obide.

---

^^ My favorite verse from you... its the part that seems to make this story go from "ehh" to worse....


Overall I think it was most def some nice work from the both of you I think the verses should have probably blended together a little more than they did. It was like the story started then ended then started back up again if that makes any sense at all...

this piece was good............
the concept was creative. it was well writtn and very understandable.
the structure was str8 and so was flow....
very good imagry, and the vocab was nice as well........
stay at it

peace

Quote:

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Originally Posted by A.O.D

Ok gentlemen lol... it wasn't so shabby, first and foremost give yourself a pat on the back... now that I'm done b/s'n heres my two cents lol


K- I like your style you had good imagery in this one and it tells a story, short but sweet.

^^ my favorite part of your verse, it just seems to explain alot more than the words detail...

W- I like the way you showed your verse, with the different colors to express the different emotions, you also had good imagery and all that pretty stuff. But most of all the point was made.

^^ My favorite verse from you... its the part that seems to make this story go from "ehh" to worse....


Overall I think it was most def some nice work from the both of you I think the verses should have probably blended together a little more than they did. It was like the story started then ended then started back up again if that makes any sense at all...

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Now there is some good feed... Thanks man.

wow....gawd damn this was good fa real....