I Lost You Again

I Lost You

You’re the only one that’s been there for me… every time
From the cradle to the grave
And even though that’s the insanity in me
I’m strong and I’m brave
It feel like I always lose you too
Cause it’s kinda like you my closest to God now that my gma gone and that’s true
I love you best
And this isn’t some test
How many years I wait?
And I have nothing to confess other then you pre set some bate?
I don’t know who to hate…
But always on time, now always late
(Un foolish)
I’m confused cause I’m his vest too
But nah the last thing I’m a ever do is disrespect you
Involved in a killing and squealing?
Nah not really they knew I didn’t know who and told them what everyone said who shot an innocent dead
Either way still stuck in the ceiling
And it’s just how I’m feeling pac
Family… I know
But you know the last thing I am is superficial or shallow

I saw you with that curse
You being here like where
It’s ok I pray I go first
But I’m stuck between what’s real and what’s not
An nobody even cared and it hurt a lot
All I am if it’s this then that or that to this…
So I get confused a lot
But when I reminisce and it come to God… family is all we got
I’m standing with you, I’m standing with true
I can hear recorded or live
So thank God you ok too
What I did wrong vs what I was supposed to do?
My secret… I can’t tell if I’m alive or dead almost all the time for years
And the thought of you really dead made me burst into tears
Served harsh and nah you know I’m not built by spite… but you right?
So tell me… who we all about to fight?
Me? For my god given rites

You got married 3 days after my bday
What did I do to you?
Evidentially they brainwashed that too
Nipsy - I’m not giving them my best for free
But you see, it fucks my brain up and it’s chemistry
So bad that I can’t even think or write clearly
And each time is months of recovery
They know that too but somehow I lost the human in me
Cause they won’t stop 2
Yes… the crazy lady that was just emotionally sick
She is my gift from Allah and he know I’m not some lick
But yeah some days - a lot of days I just get sick

I wanted to know why I couldn’t make love, why I couldn’t feel
Now I know that I’ll show you what’s real
I can play the cards but I never deal
Cause even the put boss teach them how to steal
Life can be so surreal
I asked God one day why I don’t know how to make love
I woke up to a whiisper who said I’ll show you
And ever since I felt it it’s all that I can think of
I don’t know why I tell the whole world
But it’s easier to pin an updo when the hair already curled
I learned being happy can change your entire life
Is that what 95 was? Some dumb bitch shooting at his wife?
Now that’s really trife…

But look at who got knifed


https://youtu.be/j85UDykomWA