Realest Killaz - dec 2004 spider

Realest Killaz
https://youtu.be/vRR2ioYErzY

Instincts of a spider done crept up inside her
I hit them with the yack so say hi to Apple cider
Sould?
You think I sould to a witch
Put the word in lights just to run up on this bitch
Tupac say run and I run
Now you see that name over my gun
You know who gonna shoot you in the dark and I’m a just go back to having fun
It’s why you block
You have seconds after reading this - it’s like my atomic clock
You murdered my red so you see now I am the white
But we can switch at any time since this war gonna be more then this fight
Military minded your soul already grinded - i did to worms
Go hither and see if you can find it
Every time the beat drop we gonna see the bitch catching every drop as she squirm
Bitches gonna learn
(I just learned it from watching you)
Military minded - I’m just lost in the cemetery again
Knowing the cost I’m waking up the graves of every lost friend
You took your last step towards my insanity
Just like you can’t stand against my vanity
They make me look in the mirror and change me
They keep acting like their threats can even phase me
but they keep doing it again
Idk if dreams come true but these bitches don’t even have a clue and right now it’s gonna end
Or I’m a sneak up from behind and you won’t even know that Im there
Twist your head and pop it like a wish weed; before you’re even aware or beware that I’m lost in that stare
If you seen my ghost stand over you; you know that it’s over... I’m coming for you, so save your “you did have a wish” for a clover
What more to me can you really do
Cause I was there watching you weed and I’m telling you all it’s really, really true
I bet you gonna front like you scared now like you did then too

Link one: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...?235615-Stress

This spider zone is what makes me so sick though... I'm not strong enough for all them spirits to run thru.

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Even my pause when I write isn't really the same. I don't like this. I don't want to be forced to share my body with ghosts either. I think I need a new council... can you just shoot me towards a new council? I'm tired of being sick and having to stand back up despite all the time. I want a council that protects me and is not obsessed with mental health instead. I'm worried about the rest of my family too. 2-3 more are falling.

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A female is in my lover card zone and I am not bi that's most the problem and how sick and deranged she is too. She's on my body trying to bitch me and it physically hurts A LOT as well as is gross.

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They keep coming in after my peace and comfort and blocking me and putting me thru hell making it painful and gross instead. I don't understand how they are stronger or why they keep doing this to me. It's MY BODY not theirs. They hurt me then I'm the one to get judged, punished, and then see and get nightmares instead. If they want to explore or research insanity so bad they should do it themselves. I need a new council, or at least be able to go back to mine.

There is some female attached to my body that is opposite me, making and demanding it be all about her instead. I go to pray for protection and I hear the stupid bitch say please forgive and it’s annoying. Some stranger random bitch isn’t my priority right now or at anytime and it’s frustrating. I don’t know how to get her off me or make her go away. And that’s on my zone too. That’s what it feels like. Then there is those bitches, then there’s that ghost and everyone think they can demand out of me what my life be or the conclusion. As I look back if that is the way it was heading it was fine and I was in comfort and having fun and learning a lot. It’s not so much about being crazy cause I never did care what people thought but they’re not going to lie on me either. I’m tired of getting my ass kicked by anybody who feels like it and everyone gets mad at me when I’m in a zone of comfort. I’m tired of them kicking my ass and destroying my life without even a justified reason to other then they just feel like it. Round for round they go and it only gets worse for me. I don’t take orders from the witches that tried to kill me in the dark at least 100x to even begin with when Resurrection first popped off and any time I get sick as when the Black album popped off (tacky not being able to dress, think, or decorate, budget my money, be myself or anything while being loaded with their ghosts while I hear them bitches making fun of me too. I got some MAJORS in trauma I been thru and can throw back too... this is life, you only get ONE shot and time is something you never get back and I’m sorry but my dreams were donated to some selfish stupid ass bitches that ruined any chance of my happiness now. It was I was afraid to face my demons - it’s I thought it was hell and meant sould - by the time I woke up to run back and face them regardless even if I get this. I’m not running - I’m getting thrown around like some fucking ping pong ball by anyone that feels like it. While I’m praying that bitch find her husband or that bitch to shine and they doing me like this instead. I don’t care if they owe it to me back now - I don’t want anything to do with them and not even those gifts back... I WANT TO RECOVER! And be able to take care of MYSELF again. That’s it... sincerely ~ until the end of time

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Me and my ex - the one that left me on my ass too... i don’t want to be his friend again either.

This post made me breathe water and drink air.

I don't know what they means but it's probably another diss @Spartacus

You know what I'm confused about... I wore a gold button down tank, jeans, and my jeweled Aldo's when I took my license pic. How the FUCK did it get sent back to me wearing a tacky ass yellow sports bra that I would NEVER even wear alone. I wish I could go to NC DMV computers and just double check that. Maybe that was 2010 too... I can't remember. I think so though... How does that happen Lord?

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That psychological and physical torture is NOTHING compared to the last 6 years. Believe me... but hey I'm just crazy. Who even care that I'm still in here, right?

I'm not trying to tell my story or let them win regardless cause everyone knows now what they did to me now... yeah I'm the degraded crazy bitch and you the gangsta hoe. I'm just trying to get them the fuck up off me once and for all and get my basic human and civil rights back. CRYING in the fucking shower praying for help cause I can't even bathe myself for some reason now. Yeah I'm drunk again. I'm the range rover... I like the evoque but I'm still debating that CL250 though too. But I'm not expecting anyone to understand what I am talking about anymore. It's not all good. Yo lock me up - I rather go on "permanent vacation" with my shadows over this any day any way. I'm not the one walking around like I own or am selling bitches. My only request is private with smoking hours. YOLO!!!!

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I have to pee.

I guess the 3 bangs sent me over the edge for like YEARS... and it sucks cause the sight was live back then - I'm pretty sure I was the red spider but who was my opponent? And now I know why I was scrambling a minute up on here too. New ventures or what ever but it does feel like an opportunity lost. A 5 to 5 against each other would've been a cool league. But if anyone want to get a league up and popping again I am so down. The all eyez on me funny - but I hate the site died. Praying it come back to life... Praying my opponent who ever it be gets their ass back on here too... who was Biggies team?

Cause I did legit go insane a sec and a few times - I want CLA919 and A Disciple to be drafts accounts. Let me know if we can get leagues again and I will set up a new account.

She had a picture of my father posted. I'm angry not even offended cause in order to degrade me you have to be a person or type of person I respect. She rewrote my obit - probably just cause I wrote it and I really don't care that much except that I've been living a nightmare and going insane is a nightmare too. I guess she didn't realize I was raised to be against everything she values and nah I'm not going to put it all on her either. It makes me wonder why both of them had to die. I was hoping otherwise but then I remember getting cut out my gma betty's will, never being invited to family reunions, ignored and blocked when I tried to reach out. I'm to the point that I don't even care anymore. My father died - now I can let all that die too. No family plot really was the final straw. I'm sorry.

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Yes he did have a policy for number 3. I know he's flipping in his grave already. BUT guys... it's all documented and it's the principal not money motivating me... I'm willing to take her to court on that.

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@Spartacus nah that post hasn't been 3 years already has it? And it's been 7 since they tried to shoot of my vagina. allegedly. Look how fast time flies and how big the world is. 1000 years ain't shit. And Allah please - it doesn't have to be a curse Lord. (I respect both there and both there) but honestly don't want to touch on religion unless it's peace and comfort, not sacrileges and sick. Lets just take it off the table. No religion, no politics are the rules in corporate... I'm comfortable with that.