A Proud Man: A Touch From Marvins Hand.

http://www.soulwalking.co.uk/%A5Arti...39;s-Dad-1.jpg

A Proud Man

1939 was a time when soul was born; he was the next kin of mine
In a time when races was torn, and only the sin would shine.
I vowed the love in my line wouldn't suffer, cuz I grew up with nothin'
Groomed, spit polished & buffered, yet all I needed was lovin'.
But my past is begrudgin' & forgotten, faded pictures & tales
There's never no stoppin' the rottin', naked whispers have failed.
At first, he wailed in the choir but always aimed to do higher
He never sang in my church, still he set the roof on fire.
Fans won't let old truths expire, when it gets putrid and harder
The Reverand will constantly be known as an abusive Father.
& the insults were rather hurtful - but true, for the few who know me
Joining the air force with no views, can only a make a kid lonely.
If only, he didn't leave.. I didn't need him to go, or persevere
I just wanted to make clear, that I was actually trying here.
& it'll always be a dying fear of his Mother, that a Brother didn't try
Son I won't lie.. you're all I ever needed for me to get by.
I had to watch your soul die, & it killed me in a way I can't describe
Tammi had an affect on you that money couldn't buy.
So when cancer took her aside, you had no answers to appease
You lost so much belief, you may aswell of had the disease.
& the years browned with the leaves - for a recluse lay in tears
You gave up and gathered the rope for a noose made of beer.
A suffocated atmosphere, brought out the love and hate in you
You'd abuse me over the phone, & label me a blatant fool.
Alone, and escape is due, my own son begged for a release
What's going on?
I never thought I'd be here to see my son rest in peace.
For I religiously keep a control, and pray for hours but I'm powerless
See, I brought you into this world, for God to take you out of it.

From a neautral perspective, or for detectives on the scene
It look like homicide with a shotgun, & a killing that had been.
& a killing it was, for shots and circumstances don't mix
But this wasn't a convict, commiting crime for a slow fix
As he carried ahold a crucifix, & what the police was told
"Marvin Pentz Gay, Jr.. was dead to me a long time ago".
.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/200000...3_paper300.jpg

Judge how you want..

yeah read this earlier. was as you woud put it" mechanicaly sound". well maybe a touch more than that. at first glimpse i thought i woud be easily bored with it. but. i retracked and tried taking in the whole piece and basicaly its fluency and imagery touches even if a bit light on the visuals. which could of beeen a bit more. but yeah the tale was rounded up dopely. had a good few outstanding lines to me. i wont bother qoute the lot. b basicaly the ones i liked did involve a good dose of multie usage. still made exact sense and had emotion packed into the bars..... ish was ill. had some food for thought. maybe i wanted a little more from it like something exciting or revealing perhaps. coz i aint in a fit state to "judge" on this

ha

even w those missing pieces this still manages to be
100% somehow

stay poppin 1

Thanks.. and uppety up.

nice and original... thats all im gonna say, apart from your bars get longer and longer as the years go by :)

well, it was a bold take on things, different. Technically I see you did some things different here, and the title kind of K.O'd you from the start. I really liked this as I got downto reading, very original take and nice to see someone writting about the situation and not just the music. Good shit here brix, you do have a special something in all your drops. Emotion strong, but imagery didn't pop right out at me, that is maybe my only gripe with the peice. Always a pleasure

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dev

nice and original... thats all im gonna say, apart from your bars get longer and longer as the years go by :)

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lmao, cheers..
from the novelist :2thumb:

nice like others said this was an very original pieace I stated reading it in an slow pace and to me it was getting more interesting as i cotinued your use of good ryhming, description and vocabulary kept the flow. nice pieace fam. RTF

Hm, as I said in the battle ,the begginning way to start out with those multies and inners, i just didnt like very much. it sort of started with a complex inner, and a weaker end rhyme, and suck quick transistions seemed to mess up the flow to me... but maybe thats just me, you also had a rough transistion from the choir/hgiher line to the roof on fire... but after that it began to get much much better.... dope actually.. the emotion was awesome, and the story imagery was pretty nice as well, although lacking in some places.... my only qualms were the simpler inners strewn about the piece... and you spelled neutral wrong. lol

O_o. Alright. This was a good piece. The emotion was there, REALLY there, I felt each word you've brung out the best of the character. The Imaginary, meh it was there, but not fully. The rhyme scheme was decent and the approach was in awe to me. It was easy to read, no flaws, except the Imaginary, not very Much detailed but the Emotion, good GOodness, the emotion was powerful. Overall this was a good drop.

When i first read this in SS, i didn't know it was about Marvin Gay.

This makes me like it more. It's just stronger.

Peace.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Elemental Soul`

When i first read this in SS, i didn't know it was about Marvin Gay.

This makes me like it more. It's just stronger.

Peace.

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well that just shows you didn't read the piece when the battle was up..
as anyone would know that this was about him!

Rise yooooooooooooooooo

Ew, more ups than replies, lol.. fuck.