Poetic Justice Tribute

“Phenomenally Me”
(Poetic Justice)

Beauty shines from the inside out
I used to smile too until it became filled with doubt
I never stood so improper or felt so uncomfortable with eyes on me
I dress in baggy sweatsuits and say I don’t care what they see
I used to say in a later day and dress so classy
And in the tacky I fight back cause its truly not what I be
I never had to try on 4 outfits in one day so much
Acting like the wardrobe can hide me being out of touch
I used to talk with style and walk with swag
But hell goes on for miles…
And each week my luggage? I add another bag
A man cant cure it anymore, not even temporarily
Cause when your soul finally dies that’s when they say I’ll be free
I walk with my head down now but I never realized why
I see 2 birds flying but yet I’m alone in the sky
Give it back… just give it all back to me
Everything you took when you did that in SC

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Link one: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...502246-Tin-Man

You're def a good writer. I remember your writing under the Cla name. I think if I'm going to give you any advice it'd just be watch your syllable counts and maybe add more multies. As is though you're a very emotional writer and I feel like your work comes from a personal place. Good stuff. Thank you for getting your links too. We aren't enforcing that yet but it's a delight to see nonetheless. Enjoyed this.

Link 2: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...he-Broken-Jedi

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@Master _soule yeah the leagues were really helping with that. Like the higher the bar the higher you jump. There are excellent writers on this site and I was learning so much. I'll behave... I'm not going to go rougue and wile out in lounge anymore but everyone needs to know they were posting from my account to and it's all not even me. And that I'm kicked out of lounge so I can't even see or defend myself if shit getting solved. It sucks cause insanity is real enough - I just didn't need the extra like it was just some joke to people. But I'll acknowldedge its my fault for putting it out there to begin with.

deep piece the part where your soul died but soule is in mention like the darkest dirty irony just to slap you in the face and defeat what you were even saying before it was even born..

but still cool kid im like your style stay up

yea i agree with soule. . if you iron out the kinks in your syllable count and fix the rhyme structure you will level up. All the other aspects are pretty much there. good vocab and emotion.... just iron it out a bit

Deep and poetic sort of vibe on this one. I enjoyed it. Probably my favorite read of yours so far out of the 3 I’ve read. The language and feeling are there. Less freestyle feeling than your others and more solid around the edges. You can definitely tighten up the rhyme schemes and make them smoother if you want to but I also don’t have any issue with how you laid this down for the most part. I liked how it came together. Short and sweet. Has a sense of longing and missing something you can’t get back on the first read through. Keep them coming!

Thank you... and honestly - I feel my writing has been off a little lately too