Left Alone

Left Alone

Wind Raging, Violent rustling of the summertime trees in broad daylight.
Soon to be overshadowed by darkness and wintertime ill-stricken madness.
The feeling of being lonely is now a reality as she walks out the doors.
Sunlight becomes moonlight, her warmth becomes bitter freezing coldness.
Murderous rage and tender heartedness merge into my poisoned blood.
The time bomb has struck its final course, the pendilum has swayed too far.
sharks and thieves surround me, layed too many cards onto the table.
Pushed a little to hard, fought for a little too much, now she's gone away.
I'm left abiding to myself, goin stir crazy wonderin why I had to be cruel.
Had a beautiful girl that was willing to stay by my side, for better or worse.
Hit rock bottom, crossed a line that no man should ever cross, but I did it.
The only thing happy in my life has escaped my depressing world for good.
I just want to kiss her luscious lips hoping to forget about this bitterness.
Too late she's gone, the earth sheds a tear as the rain come pouring down.
I see the sky fading away, the trees turn into dust, and we vanish into air.
Nirvana kicks into my soul as I finally realize that I am sadly left alone.

this was some elevated..deep sgit my nigga..................nice overall structure...............you any good at topical battles?if so hit me up................peep my poem s.............................p-e-a-c-e...............

that was tight i was feelin this the whole time i read you had some strong words to this to bring out the topic bra hot shit here but this wasnt really writtin on a poem level more of a rap or somethin but i still enjoyed it

Thanks for the feed. And RhymeSwift, If you want to do a topical battle, I'll do it.

this was good
the vocab/wording was tight but
i feel that you can bring out a better structure for this to be a poem feel me? everything else to me was cool... but... i felt as if i was reading a rap people think that rap and poem writing is all the same but truthfully itz not the same so elevate on the structure tahts basically it other than that you brought some hot shit to my opinion