$^!#

.
.
.
This gaping hole I've fallen into feels like quicksand
So hopeless as the seconds keep on stroking past the minute hand
I've always seemed to lose the upperhand
and watched as it crashed down on me.

But I won't give up on apathy we'll be living
happy afterly in a mansion on Mars.
We'll be the only passing cars and we'll be waving
as no pedestrians pass.

We can live and work but never breathe together
but baby, have faith in me. You may leave
but i'll be here forever...
Waiting patiently.

mansion on Mars

lolz.. i like this,,,,,,,,the ending seemed a nit mushy to me.ha. forever is too long to wait is what im sating...


anyway i liked a lot about this poem. u had a nice internal flow, so was a smooth piece, with some most interesting lines.......... ii just think the end lines could of brought the poem somewhere different as the end lines were not as interesting as the start and middle section

good piece though

pz