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Don't forget to number your posts... and have fun!
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Don't forget to number your posts... and have fun!
I.
It all started with one last wish.
You wanted me to be successful
and I wanted you to leave.
I've completely lost count
of all the times
my smile faded.
I guess I lost the motivation
somewhere along the way
to finding out who I really was.
Now I say this
with fear and with
hope that you will somehow
come back.
But the tombstone
sporting your name
is crushing those hopes
and burying them with you.
[I apologize]
For my childish antics
I know you resent me still
but as a Father,
I hope you forgave me
when you took that last breath.
And I suppose if you didn't
I hope those
emotions have been released
and that you no longer
have to carry the weight
of my failures.
Rest in Peace, Dad.
I've completely lost count
of all the times
my smile faded.
^I'm right there with you.
Respect for this Kon, it's obvious from the writing that the concept of this piece is personal to you, so respect from letting emotions flow the way you did.
I pin-pointed the writing above^ as it stands out from the piece and hit's like a force 9 when you take it in. Same as I said for Abi, that last stanza was deep and tied the deep emotions together, fantastic.
Peace Kon.
II. Eye Realize.
Eyes notice the simplest things,
and I notice
how you try to hide
your eyes from mine.
You act as if
eye can't see your ilashes
hiding the truth.
I apologize in advance
for the way my eyes deceive.
but they just want to see
inside of you,
and what makes you tick.
The mirror ball inside
just reflects
all the nights you were
alone.
And if nothing else, I
just want you to know
that you're
never alone; with me.
#subliminal.
I use the eyes theme often in my pieces. Working on one right now. lol. But yeah, I think I probably write about eyes more than faces because they convey so much.
Liked the first few lines - very simple yet they just sounded nice. If you wanted to extend this piece I'd expand a bit on that second stanza... how is it they deceive? Felt there is more to the story than what we see in the lines.
As for your first piece...
So personal. So honest. Hopefully writing it helped bring some catharsis. Thank you for sharing it with us.
III.
Cigarettes
Surrounded by you
my teeth chatter and scream out
I just need your warmth.
IV.
I'm sorry that you're
stuck counting on me.
Cause I'm kind of a flake
and I disappear
when you need me most.
I've never been good with math,
I don't know how to
decipher the problems
that we run from
once they rise.
I've done it to her, to you
heard both stories many times.
And even though
this doesn't add up.
We will solve this.
So sleep deprived.
V.
I don't know where to begin.
Maybe this is the end.
It was never meant to be
you were never
the one for me.
Maybe it never started at all.
Fuck you double post.
VI.
You're just one more
forgotten memory to hang
from a string on my wall.
the noose that carries you,
bounces and loses
all consciousness.
The ceiling fan, turns
and provides air
when you cut off my oxygen.
everytime you
look back at me with
those; dead eyes.
VII.
Seven--
days of each week
ways to seem weak.
mistakes that I can't forget.
Six--
Apologies you won't accept.
melodies you constantly repeat.
glasses of wine that helps you drown.
Five--
senses that make me human.
emotions I can't hate.
songs that stay in my head.
Four--
pictures that stain my walls.
hours that I can't get back
months I wanted to relapse.
Three-
lies I practiced and memorized.
words I said over and over again..
tears I shed when you left.
Two--
People in the ground this year.
bouquets that no one caught.
lives I never witnessed.
One--
goodbye remains on my lips
hug that I'll never get back
love, you'll always be that.
VIII.
Moving on
takes time
but my clock is frozen.
on the seconds
that we
kissed, and fucked.
questions that rise,
are you ready, is it time?
baby, as long our hearts
beat together, in a melody
with perfect rhythm.
it'll always be
the right time.
IX.
I'll never be
caught up.
but...
this is a start.
it'll never be over
it'll never change
it'll never faulter
but
there's no way around pain.
the truth is
I'm broken inside.
and as it makes
it's way to the outside
my mask will fall.
this is no masquerade ball,
no harlequin women,
no golden shoes
to take you home.
just me, in a car
with you by my side.
taking the roads less
traveled.
and when the road
curves, remember
to hold on tight.
wear your seatbelt
and just face the light.
finally caught up
X.
Footprints in the dark,
dust finally settles; but
i will never see.
XII.
Bloody inside, black and tempurpedic.
death swallowed her whole;
and her soul remained imprinted
on that dumb fucking mattress.
the one that she made me buy,
the one that I didn't want to try.
but now that she's gone, it's the
only way I can remember her body,
the way it curved and fit into mine.
incredible.
still awe struck
stuck in awe.
holy shit.
it hits me, everytime
my useless head hits that
pillow. the eighty dollar pillows
we just had to have.
because they matched.
but when there's just 1 pillow,
it's not longer a match.
it's lonely.
the night still sets,
and the sun still rises.
but the day goes so much slower
without you to pass the time
with.
i guess things happen for a reason,
and eventually i'll throw out the mattress.
but; until then.
i guess i'm sleeping with my misery.
XIII.
If I apologzied,
would it matter?
it wouldn't change anything.
it wouldn't change the
number of nights
when I stumbled home,
incoherent, too loud
and obnoxious.
the love hasn't changed,
but maybe the feeilngs have.
I'm out of fuel here..
Aww Kon. These last two made me want to give you a hug.
More like a glimpse into a diary with a poetic twist, I've found these 30 day threads force you to dig into feelings that have been simmering below the surface and they tend to become much more personal than when writing with a given topic or for a league. Both 12 and 13 were so honest and I appreciate that above all else in writing.
Loved this:
because that sentiment hits so close to home. Sometimes absence feels more heavy than presence.Quote:
her soul remained imprinted
on that dumb fucking mattress.
the one that she made me buy,
the one that I didn't want to try.
but now that she's gone, it's the
only way I can remember her body,
the way it curved and fit into mine.
incredible.
XIV.
all of the lights, blend
together in unity;
blinded by stage fright.
XV.
http://i54.tinypic.com/ric668.png
Who do I listen to?
the voices that are most familiar..
or the ones that
tempt me with pleasure.
I guess it's a one way street,
but my direction
is completely misguided.
I don't know which way to turn.
XVII.
the perfume I bought you
still lingers around the air.
and I honestly
want the stinch to go away.
I don't want anymore
memories of you.
I burned all the pictures,
(not really)
and I deleted all our videos.
(lying, again)
but I want to feel better,
I want to feel whole,
I want you to give back
what you took when you walked out the door.
my heart.
it wants to heal,
but you're not helping.
everytime you call,
crying.
I just want to break down,
cave in and take you back.
But I can't.
the deceiving,
lying,
cheating,
has broke me into pieces
of a puzzle.
and there will always be
1 piece missing.
like that 1 annoying puzzle
that is impossible to put together.
but you keep searching
for that 1 piece,
and when you can't find it.
you just...give up.