Suicide Note

ey this is a lil suicide note i did in a battle but i was thinkin its a piece i would like feedback on.... hit it up

Dear Loved Ones,





This is my letter to let you all know
How far I’m actually willing to go
Everyday my life is becoming exceedingly hard
Disregard to discard feelings that leave me permanently scarred.
I’m terrified to exhale but I’m more afraid to inhale
Becoming derailed by lives open trails
I tried to withstand and show love to myself
Deeper feelings on the inside blinded by humility and stealth
misery is my only wound cuts are wide filled with gloom
Tragedy struck and left me stranded the heavens granted I was doomed
What used to formulate laughter now intrigued anger
Destruction assimilation first hand now enticed danger
The pits of hell are beckoning screaming come to me
This pain and devastation no happy moments all I know is misery.
The feeling of its gentle grasp composes a heavenly vibe
Depression deeply defying the laws of gravity gives a certain rise
I try to lope away from it but my legs wouldn’t progress
Conflicted with spiritual poverty my soul is overstressed
Tolerance until my soul becomes overburdened mediocre feeble minded discretions.
Oblivious concerns minor rejection to any thought of murder or self destruction on my minds thought collection
So I die daily as I try to survive
Depression has taken over my soul can’t be revived
I started with a dream but it became hope
I started with a knife and ended with this rope.

this was a very unique poem............very nice structure......your emotino and point are straight forward and are the main focus of you writing.............wow..........nice piece.........p-e-a-c-e.............

wow.....................emo moment a nigga need a tissue lol jus messin wit chu but that shit is hot as fuck i love it good struc nice flow to it u was very attached to dis peiceu let ya blood flow through that pen and gave them words life ma ht shit like each one of ya o's had a tounge ya words was talkin to me hot shit

Yo dat shit on point like a muffucka Nice structure,wordplay, and she got sum out cold vocab skillz I've seen on battles and dis... Yo nena hold it down.. dat shit tight...
lol no dick ryd

Dats emotional as hell I was thinkin 4 a min...Aight holla

this was deep i like the big words you was using some of them i had to get the dictionary for lol that shows that your smart everything went together the only problem that you had is that you went from a note into a story but you didnt end it like a letter you know what i mean but other then that overall the poem was good it wasnt ordinary

damn sexi mami u did it with this one. i was feelin it mami. that shit was real deep. man i need a tissue.

dat was a very unique in stylen flow. i liked ur consistency through out .
da flow was hot. it was also a very emotional piece. good multis . n keep up wat ur doin ok .
overall dope.

uppin

not bad...at 14 you seem to have a grasp on the world around you...but fuck suicide...i dont respect it...you then just become a waste of flesh and punishment for wasting your talents leave you in hell itself...as far as the mental...so live and struggle thru ma...you'll become stronger and better and thru what you see. you become great....the poem was nice...liek i said..u c wats goin on....dont be scared

rise and thanks ether

I have seen this topic used to many times... so i have to compare it to the rest of the ones i have seen like hte one from myself or the one from ILlunatic ... it wasnt great or anything there was a bit of emotion in it but not to deep or anything to make me say wow your structure was good thats what you had going but thats about it